'I hate going to the park with my kids, but not for the reason you think'

"No matter how hard I tried to just enjoy the moment, my head was filled with shocking worst case scenarios."

I have never enjoyed taking my boys to the park and I know after many chats with other parents, this is not an uncommon feeling. 

Pushing a toddler on the swing for hours is boring.

Watching them slide down a slippery dip repeatedly is dull and now my kids are aged thirteen and seven, I don’t actually spend all that much time at the park which is a blessed relief.

At the weekend however, I found myself in a park with my youngest and while he made his way up a very tall climbing structure, I realised there's a new reason for me to dislike parks and it’s not boredom, it’s fear.

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Image: Supplied.

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"An uncomfortable feeling"

As my son determinedly climbed to the top, I waited below with a very uncomfortable feeling in my tummy.

I tried to look enthusiastic and say encouraging words of support without being too much of a helicopter-parent, but no matter how hard I tried to enjoy the moment, my head was filled with shocking worst case scenarios.

I could visualise him falling off the equipment, missing his footing and stumbling, tripping as he climbed - the list went on.

In reality I kept my thoughts to myself and let him enjoy the experience, but I realised this type of specific fear related to watching my kids do physical activity isn’t just limited to park play.

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"The fear is primal"

Watching my kids zoom down a steep hill on their scooters has for years given me ‘the fear’ and now on family bike rides, I find it hard to relax and enjoy myself as I watch my very competent kids ride off ahead of me.

When they were toddlers, I found watching them learn to walk and then run highly stressful. As babies I worried when they slept too much or too little - ah parenting!

Now, when we go to the beach that same mum fear takes over as I watch my boys splash about in the water- even if they swim between the flags - as I know those ocean rips can be dangerous.

Being physically separated from my boys and watching them do things I deem risky creates a full body feeling that is difficult to explain, but I guess it is primal.

I see it in nature where nervous mother animals panic around their clueless little charges who constantly run into trouble and watching a sweet little duck mum try to corale her six fluffy babies - I can heartily relate.

While my kids mostly think I am being 'over the top', sometimes my fears are not unfounded.

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"The phone call no mum wants"

In the last school holidays I got the phone call no mum wants from a friend to say my poor teenage son had an accident while mountain biking.

As I helped him into the emergency room covered in blood and seeking an X-ray of a possible broken jaw I felt weirdly calm - as if this is what I had been in training for.

Thankfully his jaw was not broken and his nasty cuts and bruises have all healed well.

If I am lucky, this sort of minor hospital experience will be all I will ever face, because I know many more parents must deal with a lot worse.

Which is of course where my fear extends from. Every parent's worst nightmare is constantly on show in awful news headlines from around the world, so it is no wonder mums go into a primal protective mode when we see our ‘babies’ doing something that feels unnatural.

Whether that is climbing tall equipment in a park or going at speed down a steep hill.

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"Risky play is important"

I also understand that risky play is good for kids and is how they learn.

According to Aussie parenting website Raising Children, risky play is important.

“Risk is a fundamental part of play,” says play specialist Catherine Sewell.

“It’s not about putting children in dangerous situations.

"It’s about saying that children need to test their own boundaries and their limits”.

In reality I want my kids to have fun and learn about boundaries, so most of the time the best thing I can do is to simply - not watch.

My husband can take them skating or climbing while I will be much happier on a family bush walk and in future I will try my best to keep my scaredy squirrel behaviour to myself.

Originally published as 'I hate going to the park with my kids, but not for the reason you think'