I had three baby showers and I don't feel bad about it

"It wasn't about the presents," the mum said, before revealing the real reason behind having multiple events. 

When I was pregnant with baby number one, my sister very kindly offered to throw me a baby shower.

She invited my nearest and dearest girlfriends and we gathered in Melbourne’s Royal Botanic Gardens for a picnic and some games. 

A few years later when I fell pregnant with baby number two, we were living in a different part of Melbourne and my mum suggested I have another baby shower.

I remember someone else in the family remarking that it was a bit indulgent to have another one, but I didn’t really care.

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. 

Number 1. Image: Supplied

RELATED: My partner said I ‘smelled down there’ when I was in labour

It wasn't about presents

For me, the choice to have another baby shower wasn’t driven by a desire to bleed my friends and family for baby presents. After all, how many bouncers or prams does one need?

Instead, it was about getting the sisterhood together to celebrate the new life growing inside me. I’ve always loved women’s circles and the idea of women coming together to celebrate special occasions.

Baby shower number two was even better than the first. We ate scones and drank tea. There were gender prediction games and each woman bestowed a wish upon my belly for the baby. 

Number 2. Image: Supplied

My mum and mother-in-law were there, and they provided wisdom and insight about motherhood.

I told my family and friends not to worry about any gifts, but they all pitched in for a spa voucher for me regardless. 

I’ll never forget redeeming that voucher a few months after our daughter was born and having the sensation of someone caring for me, after all the care I’d given to my newborn. My body still felt so battered from the birthing experience, and a nurturing massage was just what I needed. 

When I fell pregnant unexpectedly with baby number three, I had no intention of having another baby shower, but my friends organised a surprise one for me. We’d moved from Melbourne to Bright in regional Victoria and I had a new friendship group.

Number 3. Image: Supplied

My friend picked me up and drove me to a local florist under the guise that she and I would be having morning tea together. When I walked in, all of my friends were there.

There were handmade “Noble” cookies in blue and pink. Creative nappy and balloon displays that would have taken several hours to make.

We sipped tea together and shared our experiences of childbirth and parenting. Those women made me feel so special at a time when I really needed it.

RELATED: People judge that I’m getting on Ozempic after birth

"I don’t think it was self-indulgent or greedy"

So, yes, I had three baby showers – one for each of my children. Do I feel guilty about it? Not in the slightest.

I don’t think it was self-indulgent or greedy. In fact, I’d have a fourth if we were planning on having another child.

For me, celebrating the arrival of a baby with the sisterhood is not about the gifts or the corny games. It’s about the emotional connections we have with other women – connections that do a world of good for our sense of wellbeing.

To have that support through the good days and the bad is invaluable. It’s empowering. And it’s something that I, for one, am so grateful for. 

Originally published as I had three baby showers and I don't feel bad about it