‘I found my clothes hidden away in my 16-year-old son’s room’

“I’m not upset, but I have no idea how to talk to him about it,” the mum reveals.

Sarah was doing a deep clean of her teenage son’s room when she made an unexpected discovery.

The 16-year-old was staying with his dad, and according to Sarah, he was aware the his mum did “much-needed” clean-ups when he was gone.

Hidden away next to the mattress were a few of her clothing items – some dresses and a bodysuit.

The 41-year-old was at a loss.

“I’m not upset with him, and want to approach this sensitively,” she posted on Reddit.

“If he wants to borrow my clothes, that’s totes fine! I have some cute items!”

Sarah’s issue was the fact that he seemed to be ashamed, and that he was stuffing her clothes between the mattress and the wall. She thought that since he knew she would be cleaning his room, he must have left the clothes there deliberately, perhaps to tell his mum something. 

She asked the Reddit community for help.

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Sarah was cleaning her son's room when she discovered her own clothes. Photo: iStock

Reddit counsels a gentle approach

The overwhelming consensus was that Sarah shouldn’t make a big deal of it.

“I think a simple, ‘Hey son, I found my clothes in your room. Next time, please just ask if you want to borrow anything,” one person said.

“It’s only a big deal if you make it a big deal. Set the boundary and expectation the way you would with any child borrowing anything,” said another.

Another person said Sarah should take it one step further.

“You’re always welcome to explore my closet but please let me know if you want to borrow something, and if you need some new clothes, we can go shopping. I love you!” they said.

“I would add, ‘or order something’ to the end of that, because the idea of shopping in person might be pretty daunting,” another person added.

One person weighed in with the experience of being the parent of a trans child.

“My youngest son is trans. He doesn’t know I know, but I know,” she wrote.

“I have been telling him that I love him and will accept any and all things he chooses to do in his life. I tell him that nothing can make me not love him and that he is beautiful inside and out. I’m paving the way for him to feel comfortable coming out.”

A trans person also shared they had a similar experience with very different parents.

“My parents disowned me for the same stuff. I’m not saying your child is or is not trans, but I’ve got a good handle on how to approach such a situation. DM me if you need anything,” they said.

Originally published as ‘I found my clothes hidden away in my 16-year-old son’s room’