'I cried in a cafe and not a single mum helped me'

"I usually find other mums the most supportive people in the world, but not today."  

Aussie mum Kirsty Virgo recently did a typical thing - she took her little kids to an indoor play centre.

But her experience that morning was not typical.

In a TikTok which resonated with many other parents, Kirsty explains what happened that pushed her to the edge, and forced her to ask a question many of us are thinking.

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. 

RELATED:  Motherhood ruined my friendship with my BFF

"I usually find other mums supportive"

Kirsty says in her clip:

"If you're in a play cafe and you saw a mum struggling, would you help them?

"I was there for quite a while. I have a three-year-old and an 18-month-old, and I was clearly having a hard time."

Explaining that she's "going through a bit of stuff," Kirsty adds she was "literally crying" while about "15 other mums were there."

"Not a single person asked me if I was okay. Not a single person even acknowledged my existence when it was obvious I was crying."

Kirsty says that she was "silent crying", but her tears were obvious. She then genuinely puts the question to viewers - would you help another mum out in that situation?

"I'd probably offer a coffee, or comfort them, or say I hope your day gets better."

But the silence for her "really sucked."

"I've never felt so unsupported by mums, ever. I just felt so lonely.

"I would love to know, is it just too awkward to approach someone who's upset?"

Image: Kirsty Virgo/TikTok

RELATED: ‘I was shamed by my mother’s group for having to stop breastfeeding’

"People are so touchy these days"

Viewers offered different perspective and Kirsty welcomed all of them.

"I’m SO sorry no one helped, they should! We all just need to have more love & compassion for one another, and ourselves and connect like mamas in villages should," replied one mum.

Another suggested: "I think it’s also cause people are so touchy these days you’re not allowed to help children/interfere cause you’re afraid of those repercussions."

To which Kirsty responded: "Seems to be a lot of peoples answer! Very interesting, and totally fair!"

This mum shared her perspective of not being sure: "I always want to help SO badly but I also don’t want to overstep. If it was reversed, I would want to be acknowledged so maybe I should start doing it regardless."

Kirsty agreed, writing, "It’s definitely tricky hey!! Lots of comments like this! I think I will always offer the help, I think even if I get told to mind my own business I know that I’ve tried to do the right thing y’know??"

One viewer pondered whether social anxiety was to blame: "The amount of people I meet in person who won’t even make eye contact is so sad, and I think a lot of people are more self-conscious and socially anxious than we realise!

"I think mums especially can be quite isolated nowadays too with lack of villages, so I think we should all try to collectively help one another and break the stigma."

Kirsty agreed with that perspective, writing, "Insane when there was SO MANY mums that NONE helped. But I completely understand for some peoples it’s scary to help too! Just so fascinating!"

Some mums shared that they would be mortified if someone approached them, and some asserted that they would have done so regardless of any awkwardness.

"I would check to see if you were okay, I wouldn’t feel right inside in myself without seeing if you needed anything!", wrote one, while another asked, "I'd have helped you 100%. Where is the village?"

What would you have done in this situation? Tell us on Facebook.

Originally published as 'I cried in a cafe and not a single mum helped me'