'Excuse me, it's called a penis': Mum's epic rant about her baby's anatomy

"I grew up with my vulva being called a 'front bum'," one person agreed with the mum in the viral post. 

Parenting is pretty different in 2023 to the way many of us were raised - which is, on the whole, a good thing.

It's only problematic when there's a family disagreement about which way is right... and yes, that often means parents and grandparents are bickering about it every day.

For example, it used to be taboo to call baby or child's genitalia its actual anatomical name; and one mum this week is sick of arguing about it with her own mother.

Cue: an epic penis rant.

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Do you use the correct names for your baby's genitalia? Source: iStock

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"Excuse me mother, it's called a penis"

Writing on Reddit, the mum asks: "Why is the older generation obsessed with pet names for my kids' private parts?"

She continues, "I have a nine-week-old little boy. We did not circumcise him. When my mother comes over and I'm changing his diaper she always wants to watch.

"And repeatedly says, 'Oh look at his teeny Eenie! He's got a little boner!' Like of course he does mum he just woke up and he's a boy."

But the situation gets worse.

"I'll tell him let's point your penis down so you don't pee on yourself, and my mum commented on how weird it sounds for me to call it his penis. Excuse me, mother, that's what it is.

"I'm not going to teach my son pet names for his penis. I'm going to teach him the anatomically correct name for his genitalia."

The woman reports that her in-laws do the same thing as her mum - and insist on watching nappy changes. She adds that her Jewish father-in-law has 'questions' about whether the baby will be circumcised.

"He's Jewish so I totally understand why he would assume we would have had him circumcised but like, who cares. It's my kid. His penis is nobody's business but his own.

"I can't be alone in this experience."

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"They're wrapped up in modesty culture"

Many commenters on the post agreed with the new mum.

"I think they viewed sex and genitalia as a taboo thing so anything dealing with it might still be taboo to them. Our generation called them by their anatomical names, because we have seen what happens when kids don't know the real names when dangerous things happen," wrote one.

Added another, "They're wrapped up in modesty culture and it's kinda BS. Sorry, but it's 2023 and we now know that using the correct terms for our body parts is a key part of sexual abuse prevention."

This mum shared her own experience, writing, "All the grandparents were scandalised when my toddler daughter referred to her privates as her vulva. Like, calm down, Barbara, that's what it's called.

"It's not a flower, or a bajingo, or any other weird euphemism. It's a vulva, and there's nothing wrong with that."

Finally, some shared the nonsensical names they were taught in childhood:  "I grew up with my vulva being called 'front bum'." 

Originally published as 'Excuse me, it's called a penis': Mum's epic rant about her baby's anatomy