Grumpy Cat to launch new book

THE sassy two-year-old feline is building a showbiz empire one paw at a time — but that’s still nothing to smile about, as Mel Evans discovers.

Famous internet animals - Grumpy Cat.

MEL Evans sat down with Grumpy Cat and tried to put a smile on her face. Here’s what went down:

You already have one book — A Grumpy Book: Disgruntled Tips and Activities Designed to Put a Frown on Your Face — what prompted you to write another?

In the past year I’ve met a lot of happy people. It was terrible.

I had to try to change things, so I wrote a guide on how to stay grumpy in the harsh light of success.

Would you consider yourself an author or merely a business cat?

I hate labels.

What was the experience like and how long did it take you to put the book together?

It wasn’t as much fun as you would expect. My editor was endlessly cheerful and supportive, which was a bit of a buzzkill.

Paws make for diffi cult typing — do you have a scribe?

Unfortunately, I do all the typing. I just make the people at [publisher] Chronicle Books decipher it. Revenge is best served as hard-to-read manuscripts.

How old were you when you first realised you were grumpy? I have been told my first word was “meh”.

You’ve been described as “calm” and “actually really nice”. How do you feel about this?

I am calm — no need to waste my energy — but if people think I’m nice, I need to find a new publicist.

Grumpy Cat attends the "Cat Summer" video launch party in New York City.

You’ve amassed a huge following since your original grumpy photo was uploaded to Reddit in 2012 — what’s your daily routine like now that you’re famous?

Sleeping, eating, sleeping at an appearance or photo shoot, getting annoyed by my brother, Pokey … I get to be grumpy in new locations now.

In what way has fame affected you?

I travel a lot, so I’ve learnt how to streamline my packing and use a carry-on instead of checking a bag.

What does Pokey think of your sudden fame?

When Pokey needs an opinion, I will give it to him.

How do you feel when fans want to take their picture with you?

I prefer them not to use a flash, as it wakes me up.

Just like milkshakes brought all the boys to Kelis’s yard, do you have all the cats coming to your yard now?

If any do, our dog probably chases them away.

Grumpy Cat attends at the 2014 MTV Movie Awards in L.A. in April, 2014. Photo: Jason Merritt.

Is there one special tomcat in Grumpy’s life?

Thankfully, I’m married to my career.

What are your top tips for being grumpy?

First thing, place your bed against the wall so you can only get up on the wrong side.

If your mood starts to lighten, stand in line at a post office for a while. That should

get you back in the spirit.

Were you ever approached to be the face of the recent ‘bitchy resting face’ movement?

You mean ‘everyday face’? No.

Do you have a nemesis?

To have a nemesis, I’d have to care, so … no.

Your fur appears so luscious, with the perfect amount of balayage. How can readers achieve this look at home?

Like Lady Gaga says, “I was born this way.”

Do you use a straightening iron for those gorgeous whisker flicks?

You would be amazed at how good annoyance and irritation are for your hair and nails.

You’ve just turned two — what did you do to celebrate?

Friskies Party Mix threw a party for me in New York. They had a DJ, photo booth, magician and giant cake. I couldn’t get out of there quick enough.

Grumpy Cat attends The Friskies 2013 on October 15, 2013 in New York City. Photo: Mike Lawrie.

Fame can be fleeting, but you’ve managed to stay at the top — what are your secrets for maintaining stardom?

Three words: Never. Start. Caring.

Do you long for retirement, perched on a scratching post in the Bahamas?

The only thing I yearn for is a long nap. Followed by more long naps.

Are you becoming less grumpy as the years go on?

I’m destined to be 100 per cent grumpy for life. No matter how many good things come my way, I always remind myself, “It will all end badly eventually.”

What’s your next project?

We just launched Grumpy Cat’s Odour Eliminator — it’s all-natural and organic. I was hoping for

a people eliminator. There is also a Grumpy Cat movie in the works. We are speaking with multiple studios.

Describe that one moment you were happy.

Hasn’t happened yet, thankfully.

Any final thoughts you’d like to share?

Stay grumpy!

The Grumpy Guide to Life: Observations by Grumpy Cat (Hardie Grant, $19.95) is out now.

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Originally published as Grumpy Cat to launch new book