Common shower habit men just don’t get

A gender divide is affecting millions of couples. Now, a doctor has explained exactly what’s behind the phenomenon.

You’ve heard of “Girl Dinner” – but what about “Girl Showers”?

If you’re a woman, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about. And if you live with or shower with someone female, you’ve likely experienced this phenomenon too, both literally and metaphorically.

But if you have no clue about what I mean, allow me to explain.

As you might know, men and women don’t always agree on the ideal temperature – whether it’s the office airconditioning or in bed – and this extends to showering too.

Women tend to prefer much hotter showers, while men usually like them more lukewarm.

The shower temperature gap

TikTok creator Micah from @micahandsarah captured this perfectly when he shared a clip of him “training” to one day be able to shower with his wife Sarah. He puts his hand in a pot of water that appears to be boiling on the stove and then splashes it on his face.

The video resonated with over 21 million people, showing it’s clearly a universal experience.

One commenter joked, “My husband once asked if I was training for hell,” and another added, “My husband calls my showers ‘lobster time’.”

Others said they only like showers that are “scalding hot” and that make them come out “completely red”.

“If the water isn’t low-key burning my skin off, am I even clean?” asked another.

Meanwhile, two Australian blokes on a podcast called The Local Pickup discussed the issue.

“Why do girls have to shower at 1000 degrees? I can’t stand in there,” said one.

The other argued that it’s unfair when showering with a female partner because, “It’s so hot that I can’t get into it. At least you can get into my warm shower. Let’s compromise here.”

So, why do women prefer their showers “lava” hot?

A man training to shower with his wife. Picture: TikTok/@micahandsarah

They can’t stand our hot temps. Picture: TikTok

Why women love hot showers

The reason comes down to a few physiological differences, Sydney medical practitioner, Dr Zac Turner, told news.com.au.

He explains, “Part of this is the amount of muscle that we all have”.

Women generally have less muscle mass and a higher percentage of body fat than men, which means they tend to “run about half a degree cooler on average,” especially in their hands and feet.

That’s why women often want the room warmer, favour thicker blankets, and of course, take hotter showers.

On average, women also have a higher core body temperature than men, which you might think would make them feel warmer, but actually makes cold things, like a chilly room, feel even colder.

For example, one study found that men typically prefer a room temperature of 22.2°C, while the average woman’s ideal is 25°C.

Women also have a lower metabolic rate than men, which means their bodies produce less heat overall.

A study reported that women’s sedentary metabolic rate might be 5-10 per cent lower than that of men’s after accounting for age, body composition, and activity levels.

Interestingly, hormones also influence our temperature preferences. For instance, during menopause, “Oestrogen can cause dilation of blood vessels, making women feel really hot at different times,” says Dr Zac. This can lead to a preference for cooler showers.

There’s a scientific reason behind why women like their showers hotter. Picture: TikTok/@micahandsarah

It has to do with our biology, metabolism and body fat percentage. Picture: TikTok/TheLocalPickup

Is there any risk?

So, are there downsides for women who love hot showers?

Dr Zac warns: “Really hot water does strip away the skin’s natural oils. If it’s really, really hot, it can lead to dryness, flaking, and it can be bad for eczema and dermatitis, especially in winter”.

For those prone to flare-ups, such as rosacea, steaming showers can worsen redness and irritation.

Experts also warn that hot showers aren’t great for your hair either.

Lowering your shower temperature slightly can help reduce the drying effects of heat (water should be 38 degrees or lower to protect your skin and hair), but there are other steps you can take to protect skin and hair.

Dermatologists recommend applying moisturising products after showering, while your skin is still slightly damp.

You should also opt for cream-based rather than gel-based body washes during your shower.

Finally, patting your skin dry gently instead of vigorously towelling off can help protect it.

As for your hair, if you can’t give up the hot water completely, try scalp oiling before showering to prevent moisture loss.

Originally published as Common shower habit men just don’t get