People with Borderline Personality Disorder are frequently discriminated against

Extreme mood swings, chronic feelings of emptiness and sabotaging relationships — psychologist Carly Dober explains a complex mental health disorder up to 5 per cent of Aussies live with.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex mental health condition that is often misunderstood.

People with this disorder are frequently discriminated against and stigmatised.

This can create a sense of isolation and shame, making it harder for individuals to seek help or even recognise that what they are experiencing has a name, and more importantly, that it is treatable.

Clients regularly attend initial assessments wondering why they struggle to maintain romantic relationships, and talk about how they might find themselves ‘sabotaging’ them by picking fights and engaging in extremely emotionally dysregulated ways during these fights.

They wonder if life feels this hard for everyone and sometimes engage in self-harm.

They may also feel embarrassed and a failure for not feeling like they can cope with life’s stressors, and want to stop the self-harming behaviours.

Psychologist Carly Dober says that people with Borderline Personality Disorder often face discrimination.

Between 2 per cent and 5 per cent of Australians (roughly 520,000 to 1.3 million people) are affected by BPD at some point in their lives.

It’s a mental illness more common than many realise, and affects people from all walks of life.

While BPD is serious, early intervention and effective treatment can lead to significant recovery and a fulfilling life.

BPD is a mental health condition characterised by difficulties in how a person thinks and feels about themselves and others.

This often leads to problems in relationships, self-image, emotions, and behaviour.

Some of the most common symptoms include:

1) Intense emotional distress – particularly in response to perceived rejection or abandonment.

2) Mood swings that are often quick and extreme.

3) Fear of abandonment, even in healthy relationships.

4) Difficulty in maintaining stable relationships with others.

5) Impulsive behaviours such as overspending, binge eating, reckless driving, or substance use.

6) Chronic feelings of emptiness and worthlessness

7) Self-harming behaviours, including cutting or burning.

8) Suicidal thoughts or behaviours

9) Shifting and unstable sense of self-identity (not knowing who you are or what you believe in)

10) Strong and sudden anger, sometimes leading to arguments or fights.

Not everyone with BPD has all of these symptoms, and they can vary in intensity from person to person.

What’s consistent is that these symptoms can make day-to-day life feel overwhelming and hard to manage.

There is no single cause of BPD. It is now understood that both trauma and non-trauma backgrounds can contribute.

While many people with BPD have experienced early life trauma such as neglect, abuse, or loss, not everyone with BPD has a traumatic history.

Genetics, temperament, and environmental factors like invalidating early relationships can also play a role.

Misinformation online states that BPD only develops from people having a traumatic background, but this isn’t the case.

The truth is, BPD can develop for many reasons.

It’s common to wonder if your emotional reactions or behaviours are “too much.”

If you regularly feel overwhelmed by your emotions, struggle with self-worth, or find relationships very difficult, it may be time to talk to someone.

Start by visiting your GP. They can listen to your concerns and, if appropriate, write you a Mental Health Care Plan.

Borderline Personality Disorder is often misunderstood.

This plan gives you access to a partial Medicare rebate to see a registered psychologist who has training and experience with personality disorders.

A psychologist can help assess whether BPD or another condition is affecting your mental health.

Diagnosis isn’t about labels, it’s about understanding your experiences and moving toward what might help you feel better.

BPD can make life feel unpredictable and painful. Without support, many people find themselves stuck in cycles of emotional distress, broken relationships, and harmful behaviours. This not only affects your own wellbeing but can also deeply impact family, friends, and colleagues.

Early support makes a real difference. The earlier someone gets help, the sooner they can learn new skills, heal from emotional pain, and regain control of their life.

Many people with BPD recover or learn to manage their symptoms so effectively that the diagnosis no longer applies.

The good news is that BPD is treatable. Some of the most effective treatments include:

•Dialectical Behaviour Therapy – a structured therapy that focuses on emotional regulation, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and mindfulness.

•Schema Therapy – helps identify and change deeply held patterns or “schemas” that are influencing emotions and behaviours.

These therapies are best delivered by trained psychologists or psychiatrists experienced in working with personality disorders.

There is help for BPD.

Medication is not a primary treatment for BPD, but it may be prescribed to help manage specific symptoms like anxiety, depression, or sleep problems.

If you suspect you have BPD, or you’ve already been diagnosed, there are some practical things you can do to begin feeling more grounded and in control:

•Keep a mood diary – Tracking your emotions and events can help identify patterns and triggers.

•Create a safety plan – Especially if you experience suicidal thoughts or self-harm urges, this plan outlines steps you can take and people you can contact in times of crisis.

•Learn emotional regulation skills – Breathing techniques, grounding exercises, and mindfulness practices can help when emotions feel overwhelming.

•Set boundaries – Both with yourself and others. Knowing your limits and communicating them respectfully helps create more stable relationships.

•Stick to a routine – Regular sleep, meals, and movement can help regulate emotions and provide a sense of structure.

•Avoid alcohol and recreational drugs – These can worsen mood swings and impulsive behaviours.

•Build a support team – Trusted friends, supportive family members, your GP and psychologist can all play a role in helping you stay connected and well.

If you have a diagnosis of BPD, or suspect you have this disorder, you are not your diagnosis. You are a person worthy of care, understanding, and support.

If you are struggling, don’t wait. Talk to your GP, get a mental health care plan, and connect with a psychologist who understands. Early support can change the course of your life.

Carly Dober is a psychologist based in Melbourne.

Originally published as People with Borderline Personality Disorder are frequently discriminated against