I was so burnt out I couldn’t work for six months. This is what changed my life

Balancing parenting and a demanding job, Peta never stopped — until she had a breakdown that forced her to re-evaluate her life.

As a single mum in a demanding, all-consuming job, Peta Sitcheff didn’t have time to stop.

So she didn’t — up until the moment everything fell apart and she couldn’t work for six months.

Ms Sitcheff said her life came to a “screeching halt” seven years ago.

“I would get in the car to go to work and my hands were shaking so violently on the steering wheel I simply couldn’t drive,” she said.

“I had a couple of panic attacks … two of which I ended up in emergency because I thought I was having a heart attack.

“I went to go to work one day and couldn’t.

“I resigned from my job because that’s all I knew what to do.”

She decided to work for herself, but said she didn’t address her underlying anxiety, and eventually broke down in a car park after realising she couldn’t afford the $24 to get out.

“It was that additional financial stress a couple of months later absolutely tipped me over the edge,” she said.

“That was me at my absolute lowest.”

Her job had been in medical sales, and Ms Sitcheff said she “loved my job until I didn’t”.

“I was a corporate athlete, managing the prosthesis needs of 20 of Melbourne’s neurosurgeons,” she said.

“I was part of their surgical team and spent most of my time in the operating room.

“For more than 13 years I was on-call 24/7.

“You couldn’t take your foot off the pedal because you had a sales target to hit.”

Ms Sitcheff, who has now recovered and shares her story to help others, said she can now recognise the signs she ignored in the lead-up.

Peta Sitcheff experienced severe burn out. Picture: supplied

“It was like you were just trying to keep all the plates spinning constantly without really thinking ‘what am I doing this for’ or pausing to think whether or not I even had any other options,” she said.

“I was constantly exhausted, no matter how much sleep I was able to get.

“I was really agitated.

“Mentally I was starting to forget things, I was starting to make mistakes.

“I could feel that I wasn’t coping with the day to day stress … as well as I had done in the past.

“I became a pressure cooker.”

Ms Sitcheff’s story isn’t unusual – and reflects a growing issue affecting more and more Australians: burn out.

New statistics show it has affected half of all adults in the last year, with younger Australians reporting higher levels than any other age group.

What actually is burn out?

Beyond Blue chief executive Georgie Harman said burn out was “not just a bit of stress”, but “a clustering of conditions and experiences that can have a really significant psychological impact”.

“It’s the compounding, ongoing, relentless stress,” she said.

“One of the simplest explanations I’ve heard is … it’s when someone’s facing too many demands for too long with not enough support.”

Senior clinical psychologist Nasalifya Namwinga said work-related burn out had three criteria.

“Exhaustion, cynicism and low efficacy, which just means you feel it takes twice as long to do half as much,” she said.

One in two Australians have felt burnt out in the last year.

How common is burn out in Australia?

A new Beyond Blue survey of 1000 Australians found almost 40 per cent have been so burnt out at one point, they have had to take time off work.

One in two Australians reported feeling burnt out in the last year alone.

But, when it comes to young people, the numbers were even higher, with a staggering 74 per cent of Australians aged 18 to 29 feeling burnt out “sometimes, often or always” in the last 12 months.

Burn out – while still high across the board – decreased with age, and was reported by 56 per cent of 30 to 49-year-olds, 40 per cent of 50 to 64-year-olds and 18 per cent of 65-74 per cent.

Ms Harman said while she was initially surprised to see young people – who have been in the workforce for the smallest amount of time – so over-represented, but it made sense in the broader context of their lives and its “constant change, disruption and uncertainty”.

“Young people face compounding pressures and concerns including housing affordability issues, cost of living pressures, climate change and rising loneliness,” she said.

What are the signs of burn out?

Feeling cynical? While exhaustion or a spike in sick days may be among the more well-recognised signs of burnout, Ms Namwinga said a lesser known – but often earlier – red flag was actually feeling cynical.

“That’s one to look out for because that tends to show up a little bit earlier than the exhaustion or feelings of low efficacy.”

Do you feel work you used to care about is now meaningless? Cynicism is a red flag for burn out.

“Having inappropriate attitudes towards a thing that you’re doing that don’t actually match how you feel about it … or feeling like you hate your job and that dread towards going into work or doing the thing that you would otherwise enjoy.”

She said there were also physical signs, which some people may find easier to notice.

“Being more sick, taking days off because of just not being able to find the wherewithal to get up and do your job.”

What causes burn out?

Ms Harman said burnout was “fundamentally caused when high job demands meet a lack of resources and support”.

“It’s a lack of support, unclear job expectations, lack of feedback, . . a lack of autonomy … excessive unreasonable expectations,” she said.

“The lack of opportunity for rest and recovery and filling your bucket up and then obviously the things that we always talk about in terms of poor workplace environments, conflict, bullying, harassment, discrimination.

“It’s never a personal failing.”

A poor workplace environment can contribute to burn out.

Respondents to the Beyond Blue survey repeatedly pointed to working conditions as the reason for burn out, with inappropriate workload (49 per cent), lack of management support (32 per cent) and inflexible working conditions (21 per cent) the top three causes.

But the survey also pointed to personal factors, including a lack of work/life balance (39 per cent), difficulty saying no or setting boundaries (31 per cent) and setting unrealistic expectations for themselves (26 per cent).

Non-work causes of burnout were also common, with 48 per cent of people reporting non-paid activities had left them burnt out, including family responsibilities and social commitments.

But – despite how common it is – the survey also revealed that 45 per cent of Australians who have experienced burnout at work did not seek support.

A third of people said they would not feel comfortable speaking to their manager if they experienced burn out, with the most common reason cited a fear of negative consequences.

Ms Namwinga said finding mentors who can give practical advice about how they navigated similar situations was helpful, particularly if you don’t feel able to speak to your direct boss.

How can I prevent or manage burn out?

While many of the structural factors behind burn out – such as high workload or unsupportive work environments – are outside of an individual’s control, there are steps people can take.

Ms Namwinga said identify what was “within your control” and take action on those issues.

“If you can, have conversations with managers that help to have more realistic time frames,” she said.

She said the second part was learning what you can do to self-manage your stress.

“It might be taking breaks [and] not eating at your desk, … booking in leave that you’re entitled to and ensuring that you actually taking that time off to rest and do restorative things.”

She said restorative activities were not the same as restful ones, and were things that may be work-related but “help you come back to work more energised and excited about work”.

“It could be reading a book about the work or something related, that helps you feel inspired to come back,” she said.

Ms Harman said it was important to set boundaries and remember “it’s not selfish to look after yourself”.

“I’ve set myself a KPI where I actually say no three times a week” she said.

“When I first started doing that it felt awful, but actually it’s really empowering.”

Finding time for exercise you enjoy can help prevent burn out.

She said exercise, spending time with loved ones and in nature and self-care practices like meditation and mindfulness were also important.

“Some people roll their eyes at this stuff but it actually works,” she said.

She urged people to reach out for support, whether that’s a manager, an employee assistance program, a healthcare professional or a support service like Beyond Blue.

“Let others know how you’re feeling,” she said.

Ms Sitcheff said she wished she had reached out to people earlier, but her experience had shown her support was available.

She sought professional help and slowly built up her energy levels — with no expectation on her self — until she could return to the workforce.

“As I recovered I realised my priorities had shifted and life needed to look different,” she said.

Now working as a sales coach, she said she protects herself by eating well, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep and practising meditation and mindfulness.

“I live life more outside than in – nature is my greatest inspiration,” she said.

My laptop rarely opens after 5pm and my mobile phone is a tool for my convenience, not everyone else’s.”

But she said arguably the most important thing was that she no longer tied her entire self-worth to her job and had redefined what was important to her life.

“What I really need to be doing to look after myself is making sure that I’m always living in alignment with my values and what’s most important to me,” she said.

“Defining those with my psychologist in my recovery phase was really quite life-changing for me because they just they provided a compass.

“Today, I’m the mum I always wanted to be. I wouldn’t have had that chance if I continued life the way it was.”

Beyond Blue will host a free online webinar on preventing and recovering from burn out on Wednesday July 16 at 12pm.

Originally published as I was so burnt out I couldn’t work for six months. This is what changed my life