AFLW star opens up on toll of cruel trolling
AFLW champion Dakota Davidson has taken the extraordinary step of asking her club to limit photos of her online after brutal trolling left her crying herself to sleep.
For AFLW star Dakota Davidson, being thrust into the spotlight has left her emotionally scarred.
So now, she’s making a conscious decision to step away from it.
The Brisbane forward has spent too many nights crying herself to sleep after well-publicised attacks on her appearance.
Some days, the degrading comments were so bad that she didn’t even want to play.
But this year the 26-year-old decided enough was enough, and has taken action to protect her wellbeing.
On the advice of a psychologist, she asked the Lions to reduce the online photos they post of her, and has unfollowed AFL-related social media accounts.
“Last year it got to the point where sometimes I couldn’t think of anything worse than going out onto the field and being called these names,” she said.
“Playing footy, you know you are there for someone’s entertainment … but at the end of the day I go to bed and I cry myself to sleep sometimes just based on the comments.
“We are not animals in a zoo.
“We are players and people and we have feelings and families.”
She said by “taking matters into my own hands and removing myself from it a bit”, she hoped to stem the trolling.
Davidson has opened up about the toll the abuse has taken on her mental health – and how she’s found strength again – for News Corp Australia’s Can We Talk? awareness campaign in partnership with Medibank.
She revealed feeling “petrified” at cutting her hair short five years ago, and was surprised and relieved when the feedback was overwhelmingly positive.
“I got used to getting called ‘sir’, or ‘young man’ after I cut my hair short, and it never really bothered me,” she said.
“I knew to the naked eye that I did look a little bit like a boy, I wasn’t your stereotypical woman.
“I was quite OK with that. I was finally proud of the person I’d become.
“But it got worse when I started playing footy and was in the spotlight.
“It’s gotten to a point now – as sad as it is – where I can’t bring myself to look at what people are posting.
“I’ve told the Brisbane Lions that sometimes ‘if you don’t have to use my photo don’t use it’ because it just saves the hassle of feeling pretty crappy after a good win or a good game.”
The abuse peaked after her team won the Grand Final in 2023, and her victorious photo went viral.
Instead of jubilation, she was met by “thousands” of awful comments, such as “He grew an extra leg when it was needed”, and “This is a women’s game. Why is there a man in it?”.
For the first time, she decided to file a formal report with her club, which shone a spotlight on the vicious, gendered abuse aimed at her and other ALFW players.
Importantly, supports sprung up around her.
The club, team and fans rallied behind her.
Davidson said she regularly saw a psychologist and a sports psychologist, and used different strategies to stay mentally fortified.
She credits her support network – teammates, family, her partner Jennifer, and the Lions fan base – for keeping her strong.
“I talk a lot to the girls in the team, and the Brisbane Lions have been super good in throwing their arms around me and making sure that I’m mentally OK,” she said.
“We have a big thing in our group about having hard conversations and making sure everyone is getting through it, because footy can be pretty wild.”
“My partner has been extraordinary too and my life … my mum often gets online and tries to stick up for me.”
At an open training session, the Lions fan group gifted her a special book filled with their favourite photos of her and personal notes about why they loved her.
“Bless them,” she said.
“There’s definitely heaps of good but sometimes it just gets overshadowed by the bad.
“I’ve definitely gotten better this year though.
“I’m older and wiser and I know better than to deep dive into the world of social media.”
Still, public spaces can be confronting.
She’s regularly confronted by strangers when using public toilets and tries to avoid them.
“I hate it, it gives me absolute anxiety to go to public bathrooms,” she said.
“Nine times out of 10, I will just go into the male toilets because it saves me the hassle of an awkward conversation that I hate having.”
But she says opening up to those she trusts about how she’s feeling is helping keep her mental health in check.
“I don’t really hold too many things in for too long, I think that’s the ADHD in me … I’m a big talker,” she said.
“It’s just how I was raised really it’s always good to talk about it because a problem shared is a problem halved.”
Originally published as AFLW star opens up on toll of cruel trolling
