From Law and Order to Offspring, most jobs on TV are completely unrealistic

SOLVING a major murder in mere days? A lawyer that is never seen reading a textbook? Jobs on TV never really add up.

POLICE call it the CSI effect: the TV crime show-induced expectation that the process of catching and convicting baddies is quick, neat and executed with state-of-the-art forensic equipment.

And all in designer threads with never a hair out of place, of course.

CRIME SOLVING — CSI AND LAW & ORDER

Detective Chief Superintendent John Kerlatec, the State Crime Command’s Director of Serious Crime, tries not to watch crime series such as CSI and Law & Order but it’s a tough ask when his wife can’t get enough of them.

“I don’t watch them but my wife does and she hates it when I sit there with her because I’m just banging on with ‘I can’t believe they’re doing that, it’s just so wrong!” he tells Insider.

“Some of it is quite entertaining — and that’s the purpose of the show — but some of it is far-fetched and far removed from reality.”

The team on Law & Order: SVU solve crimes quick smart.

And while it is usually not that hard to differentiate between fact and fiction in most crime shows, there are exceptions where viewers might be “learning” things that aren’t completely accurate.

“With CSI it causes us a little bit of concern because you go to court and jury members, who most often don’t have a lot to do with police, expect the same fast results,” Mr Kerlatec says. “Unfortunately their only knowledge of policing may come from some of these shows which give the perspective of reality when it’s sometimes far from it.”

Policing can sometimes be called into question by juries who believe they have a better understanding of forensic procedures because of shows like those in the CSI franchise.

“They wonder why we’re not getting the forensic results or we’re not finding DNA or we can’t log on to a super computer that gives us every bit of information with a couple of keystrokes,” he says.

Detective Kerlatec can’t stand watching CSI. Picture: Richard Cartwright

Of course it’s not just cops who watch in amazement as their profession is played out on the small screen.

BROADCAST JOURNALISTS — THE NEWSROOM

When HBO’s hit series The Newsroom premiered a few years back, news hounds were quick to point out reality wasn’t quite as idealistic as cable anchor Will McAvoy would have you believe.

Josie MacRae, Channel 9’s head of news digital, has worked in TV newsrooms around the world. She enjoyed Aaron Sorkin’s work of fiction, but says much of it was just that.

“In real TV news there’s not as much swearing going on in the newsroom and we don’t have quite as many tears,” she laughs.

“And all the behind-the-scenes people in news aren’t that good looking!”

Journalists would love big stories to unfold as nicely and neatly as they did on each episode of The Newsroom, but alas it doesn’t happen that way.

“Major investigations don’t fall into place quite that easily — especially while we’re on air,” she says.

But there is one thing that almost hits the mark.

“There is some truth in it — being a newsreader is much tougher than it looks. So much goes on behind the scenes to have that credibility and trust. The newsreader is a really important team member.”

The Newsroom made TV journalism seem like the world’s most dramatic job.

COLUMNISTS — SEX AND THE CITY

The queen of improbable journalists is still Carrie Bradshaw — the Sex And The City columnist who never filed more than a few hundred words but somehow held down a swish Manhattan apartment and lived the high life in designer threads and Jimmy Choo heels.

There are probably a ton of SATC fans who studied media after watching the show hoping their lives were going to be absolutely fabulous when they scored that big column.

Sarah Jessica Parker’s character Carrie Bradshaw spawned a generation of journalists hoping to live a life as luxurious as her. Picture: Craig Blankenhorn

LAWYER — SUITS

Harvey Specter makes millions, settles huge cases in under an hour and lives in a fancy penthouse. He has a collection of basketballs but very few legal books in his plush corner office and he’s happy to go into bat for his protege Mike Ross who doesn’t even have a law degree. Now there are plenty of partners in law firms who bring in seven-figure salaries, and some of them probably have pretty fancy digs too, but the job is, for the most part, far less glamorous and comes with grafting hard work.

Harvey Specter and his protege Mike Ross do hardly any work. Picture: Supplied

FIREMAN — CHICAGO FIRE

Let’s face it, a show about firefighters responding to false alarms would be a boring as hell so it’s fair enough that fictional fireys such as those on the popular Chicago Fire have their days jam-packed with houses and businesses going up in flames. If you add them up, it’s surprising there are any buildings left standing in the suburbs serviced by Firehouse 51.

Real firefighters spend most of their time responding to false alarms. Picture: Sandro

DOCTOR — OFFSPRING

Why are there never many babies being delivered at St Francis hospital where Nina is now acting head of obstetrics? There must plenty of obstetricians who would love her easy workload. And what doctor of any persuasion has time for the detailed daydream escapes Nina regularly drifts into? Miraculous cures on medical dramas often drawn the ire of real-life medicos with experts slamming one Chicago Hope episode where a doctor performed an unproven procedure to treat a patient with AIDS.

Asher Keddie’s character has one of the lightest work loads ever.

CEO — SUPERGIRL

Recent research revealed one in five CEOs are psychopaths (compared to one in 100 of the general population). It’s no wonder then so many big bosses on screen are terrible with poor social skills and little regard for the law. Calista Flockhart plays Cat Grant in Supergirl, the CEO of a media conglomerate. She has some key anti-social behaviours one might associate with someone at the top of the corporate food chain, but seems to do little but meddle in the minutiae — signing off layouts, discussing bland stories and little else.

Calista Flockhart doesn’t play a normal CEO.

This article originally appeared on The Daily Telegraph and has been republished here with permission.

Originally published as From Law and Order to Offspring, most jobs on TV are completely unrealistic