Fiona and Nicole take the ‘biggest risk’ in House Rules history

CONTROVERSIAL contestants Fiona and Nicole cause trouble on House Rules, taking the “biggest risk ever” in the show’s history.

CONTROVERSIAL contestants Fiona and Nicole have continued to cause trouble on House Rules, taking the “biggest risk ever” in the show’s five-season history.

I should point out, I’m not the one dubbing their decision as the “biggest risk ever”. It’s Channel Seven’s version of Shaynna Blaze who made that bold statement.

“This is the biggest risk on House Rules ever!” expert designer Carolyn panicked upon seeing a wall. Yep. A wall. She made more of a fuss over it than we all did about that one of Donald Trump’s.

On Thursday night, all the teams descend on the South Australian house of couple Kate and Harry and we watch on as they begin attempting to transform it into a stunning family home.

The theme? “Boho”. Or “berh herh,” as some of the teams say, pronouncing it with an unintentional Prue and Trude accent.

Now, the teams approach these themes in the same way I approach the articles I write about these reality shows. By that, I mean they do whatever they want and then when people complain they say it’s simply open to interpretation. In this case, all the teams have taken the theme of “boho”, gone with a design they think looks better and just called it “boho” anyway.

After having their own home ruined last week, best friends Fiona and Nicole are on deck renovating with a vengeance. These are two ladies who will do whatever they like, thank you very much. They don’t care if this is your house and you have to live here. You’ll accept the room they design for you.

On this project, they’re in charge of the lounge room and the laundry. And they’re obsessed with walls. In the first 10 minutes of Thursday’s episode, they instigate and lose a fight about the laundry wall. And when it comes to the lounge room, they’ve ignored homeowner Kate and Harry’s request for “open-plan living” by closing things off completely with a massive wall.

The couple even explained they require open plan living to watch their child play and to ensure his safety. But Fiona and Nicole aren’t going to let some kid’s safety interfere with their aesthetic.

When design expert Carolyn swings by to take a look at the situation and remind them of Kate’s desire for a wall-free home, the ladies have a very Donald Trump attitude about it.

“THIS WALL’S GOING TO STAY” they declare.

Carolyn gets just as dramatic.

“This is the biggest risk on House Rules ever!” she panics. It’s an overstatement bigger than Fiona and Nicole’s wall. The only things bigger than this overstatement are Carolyn’s gestures to try and convince us of the risk.

...And all that jazz.

Fiona and Nicole wisely take a moment to consider Carolyn’s advice.

“We’re keeping the wall,” they conclude.

In life, everything has a way of evening itself out. And what Kate and Harry’s home has gained in unwanted walls, it’s lost in doors.

Aaron and Daniella have been tasked with completing the master bedroom. And they’re excited to tell everyone it has a walk-in wardrobe. Probed further, they’re forced to admit it’s not really a “walk-in-wardrobe” — more just a regular wardrobe without doors.

When design expert Carolyn catches wind of their lack of doors, she declares this the biggest risk since those two clowns put up a giant wall in the lounge room.

Daniella takes the criticism of her no-doors approach to life a little too seriously.

“I wanna take the risk, I’ve come into the competition to not just sit here and be like, ‘OK let’s just put doors on like every other house in Australia’. I wanna have no doors on my wardrobe,” she tells us passionately even though we don’t really care anymore.

But Carolyn’s planted a seed of doubt in her mind and, later, we catch her rocking back and forth in the foetal position in the wardrobe.

And that’s not me exaggerating. We see her do it because, well, the wardrobe has no doors.

‘Ugh why isn’t there a door on here?’

After sharing her opinions on walls and doors, Carolyn powers through the rest of the home and into the kid’s bedroom to see if anything in there needs criticising. It does.

Troy and Bec are super excited to share their plans for the two-year-old’s room and practically lose their breath telling Carolyn how there’s going to be a giant treasure map on the wall and a huge teepee in the corner.

“So you’ve got pirates AND a teepee?” she says, appalled by the odd culture clash.

Carolyn can’t even deal.

The couple have a freak out and decide to approach the room the same way a 20-something girl might approach a music festival: by purchasing an inappropriate amount of Native American paraphernalia.

They jump on eBay and order an F-tonne of dream catchers and feathered Indian headdresses.

Kendall Jenner looking fresh at Coachella.

As well as completing their assigned rooms, all teams have to submit a statement piece to be judged by homeowners Kate and Harry. They have to make or buy a piece for their zone that shows off the vibe they’re going for their room and to show they understand the theme.

The task is a success, proving twins Andrew and Jono absolutely do not understand the theme.

To remind you, the theme is boho. The piece Andrew and Jono submit is a Chinese tassel lamp.

“It’s so far off the mark that I am truly worried. I don’t like anything about that,” homeowner Kate says, succinctly slamming the piece.

Her reaction comes as a surprise. There’s so much negativity. And that’s so not berh herh.

For more observations on Shaynna Blaze and walls, follow me on Twitter: @hellojamesweir

Yeah.

Originally published as Fiona and Nicole take the ‘biggest risk’ in House Rules history