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Australian Ninja Warrior is making average Aussies re-evaluate their lives

SOMETHING strange happens when you sit in front of your TV, watching Australian Ninja Warrior. It’s a feeling you can’t quite place ... until it finally hits you.

Matt Young
4 min read
July 24, 2017 - 7:19AM

OPINION

IT’S not often I feel guilty in front of the television.

But over recent weeks something strange has taken over my set, and as I gorged on pizza while watching TV last night, it finally hit me; I felt guilty.

As the last decade of my life flashed before my eyes I began to re-evaluate my life choices.

I’m sure I’m not alone, because if you’ve been watching Australian Ninja Warrior as much as I have, you would be feeling it too.

Based on a Japanese format that’s found huge success in the US, Ninja Warrior is essentially a gargantuan obstacle course through which contenders must race.

If they make it to the end — and fast enough — they’re in the running to be named the ultimate Ninja Warrior. Yes, the ULTIMATE NINJA WARRIOR.

One after another, some muscled god or goddess appears on our screen to tackle one of the most physically challenging tasks ever seen on Australian screens. Some with grace — some, not so much.

But even those less than elegant contestants have more physical ability and strength than I could even dream of mustering, and I’ve found myself so involved in this show, I’m literally applauding the screen.

Because let’s face it, you and I, we’re probably not Australia’s next Ninja Warrior.

In three months I can count on one hand how many times I’ve been to the gym. I’ve documented the trials and tribulations of my weight numerous times over the past decade; in fact in four years my weight has remained frustratingly the same.

Though who am I kidding? It’s not like I’ve been downing the protein shakes.

It’s shows like this that make you wish for more — because there’s nothing more rewarding than success.

“I’ve stood on the starting line of the Australian Ninja Warrior course, and let me tell you: up close, it’s much bigger, more complicated and more fearsome than it looks on television,” wrote Nine journalist Sam Downing.

In fact my fitness is so lacklustre that I doubt I’d even make it through the audition phase.

“To test core and arm strength applicants were asked to do a five-minute plank, then after one minute of rest five minutes of push ups followed by pull ups from a dead-hang position,” journalist Seanna Cronin discovered.

“Applicants then had to hang from a bar for five minutes and finished with five minutes of skipping rope, when they could show a bit of flair and personality.”

According to Nine, “Normal people are doing pretty great if they can hold a plank for a minute. Ninja wannabes have to hold it for five.”

“By the time we start the final test I am knackered. My calves are on fire almost as soon as we start skipping and, once I estimate we’re at least halfway through the full five minutes, I ask/pant how long we’ve been going.”

But what’s even more devastating for average folk like me is the compelling stories of some of these individuals, overcoming the most debilitating conditions in their life to achieve what was the unachievable.

Take Alex Matthews, for example, who suffered a broken neck in 2015 after a driver ran a red light and slammed into his car. He was bed ridden for three months.

“I didn’t realise how much my mental state revolved around my physical activity. So as soon as I had to stop doing literally everything, my mental state took a battering,” Matthews told Coach. “I was in a pretty dark place.”

Then there’s Zoe Featonby, who, with five screws in her spine and a titanium rod after a scoliosis diagnosis, was forced to wear a back brace for three months.

“I’ve got a really big scar on that side of my body — deflated a lung, removed one of my ribs to use for bone grafting, and then inserted the rod,” she said.

Meanwhile, here I am, in full health, wondering what the hell to do with myself.

Sure, I’ll go to the gym tomorrow. I’ll start afresh. I’ll be the Hulk in no time.

Cronulla trainer, mentor and former commando Scott Evennett, who did three tours of Afghanistan and one to East Timor, says the show couldn’t have come at a better time — and I can’t help but agree.

“There is too much softness and cotton wool, and people know they need a kick in the butt, some discipline,” he told the Daily Telegraph.

“Seeing these athletes might inspire them to think, ‘I’ve gotta get started as well’.

“Most people will hit a challenge like this and say ‘no’ and not back themselves, when they actually do have the ability in them to do whatever they want and that message in Ninja will go out to whoever watches.”

One day, just one day, I might finally make it to the big Ninja Island — here’s hoping I get to the gym first — and that I don’t end up like this.

Australian Ninja Warrior continues on Channel Nine on Sunday at 7pm with the second of three semi-finals. The third semi-final will air on Monday night before the big one, the very first Australian Ninja Warrior Grand Final, airs on Tuesday.

— youngma@news.com.au

Originally published as Australian Ninja Warrior is making average Aussies re-evaluate their lives

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Original URL: https://www.themercury.com.au/entertainment/television/reality/australian-ninja-warrior-is-making-average-aussies-reevaluate-their-lives/news-story/7364b10d8aee9dd03a4a5456300e41a1