‘Final straw’: What saved Silverchair drummer Ben Gillies’ life
Silverchair drummer Ben Gillies has broken down and revealed how bad things got as the band split, amid a clash with its former frontman Daniel Johns and the ABC.
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Silverchair drummer Ben Gillies broke down as he recalled mending his friendship with bassist Chris Joannou which was fractured by alcoholism as the band attempted to make their aborted sixth record.
In the second half of A Silver Lining, the Australian Story documentary featuring the two band members, Gillies said the band had been drinking heavily on tour after the release of their final album Young Modern in 2007 with the drummer a “full blown alcoholic by then.”
“I remember we started taking bottles of vodka and bourbon on stage, and then at the end of the shows, we would be sculling from the bottles on stage,” he said.
The ravages of alcohol would destroy frontman Daniel Johns’ voice and the band’s “train wreck” performance of their Australian No.1 hit Straight Lines on the influential Jay Leno tonight show in the US.
And ultimately be a factor in the trio calling time on the band, albeit without ever having a face-to-face discussion before an official statement was released in 2011.
Gillies shares how his wife Jackie saved his life by giving him an ultimatum to quit drinking or she would end their marriage. The drinking had also exacerbated his underlying anxiety disorder and he suffered a debilitating panic attack while surfing.
That moment would keep him out of the ocean for the next 13 years until he had a crack at a few waves during the filming of the ABC series.
“That was the final straw. That’s when I was like, “OK, I’m going to stop because drinking is not worth my marriage. And it’s the best decision I’ve ever made,” Gillies said.
Joannou said his friendship with Gillies had ended when the band called its “indefinite hiatus” in 2011 because the drummer had “just unleashed on me about … not being good enough and I can be better” in an alcohol-fuelled rant.
After Gillies stopped drinking, he reached out to his childhood friend who had moved back to Newcastle to repair their friendship.
“And so I called him and then I just laid it all out to him. I apologised and I said, ‘I didn’t mean those things and I’m sorry,’” Gillies said as he fought back tears.
“‘And you’re my brother and I love you and … and I need you in my life and you’re one of my best mates.”
Joannou shared how his wife Karissa and their two children, daughter Odie and son Spence gave him the fight to beat a soft tissue cancer which was in his pelvis, lungs and spine.
After three months of treatment over late 2019 and 2020 - during which Gillies and his wife were regular bedside visitors - he was cleared of the disease.
The cancer diagnosis came the year after his successful Edwards bar and restaurant in Newcastle, his passion project after the band split, was destroyed by fire.
“I was just forced to stop and think about death. I started treatment at Lifehouse in Sydney, and, I don’t know, there was just too much to live for,” Joannou said.
“I mean, I had a three-year-old, and Karissa was pregnant again, with Spence.”
Joannou said he feels “like the child stuck in a messy divorce” after the band’s demise.
“It would be amazing to be in a position of reconciling collectively,” Joannou said.
“And maybe Dan has no interest, and maybe Ben has no interest, but me selfishly, if I could ask for one thing, I think it would be to just have that moment.”
Gillies and Johns have made no secret that the friendship which forged the band when they were at high school is no more.
It seems irreparable from what Johns has previously said on his podcast, web series and during interviews.
“Daniel and I … yeah, we don’t really have a relationship. We just can’t find a way. We just can’t find a way. I do wish it was different. And all I think we need to do is sit down and talk,” he said.
Irrespective of whether the three men can ever sit in a room and “talk” again, neither Gillies nor Joannou expressed any desire to play as Silverchair again.
“In my mind, Silverchair is done. That moment, that part of my life, is finished. And that’s OK … it was an amazing experience and I’ll cherish it forever,” Gillies said.
The documentary precedes the publication of Love & Pain, the joint memoir by Gillies and Joannou, on Wednesday.
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Originally published as ‘Final straw’: What saved Silverchair drummer Ben Gillies’ life
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