Are these the worst songs to hit No. 1 in Australia? Cast your vote

From annoying novelty hits involving a frog to an early gaslighting anthem - do you agree with our list of Australia’s worst No. 1 songs? Cast your vote.

Is Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me up with the worst No. 1 hits ever? Pic: You Tube

Sometimes we didn’t get it right – all these songs made it to No. 1 in Australia, but our music writers CAMERON ADAMS and KATHY McCABE argue they had no right topping any chart except our worst No. 1s.

Crazy Frog – Axel F (2005)

Novelty hits have polluted the charts for years. Few have been as calculated as this stinker – take a digital reptile who was making millions by being sold as a mobile phone ringtone and placing his annoying bleat over a lame cover of the Beverly Hills Cop theme. Ding Ding. This was the Baby Shark of its era. (CA)

Crazy Frog went from a ringtone to a chart topping single, sadly. Picture: Supplied

The Time (Dirty Bit) – Black Eyed Peas (2010)

My Humps is woeful, but BEP could go lower. This defaced the Dirty Dancing hit by tacking on some lazy glitch beats and people insisting “I’m having a good time” in the hope the listener would believe them. (CA)

Thought Black Eyed Peas couldn’t get worse than My Humps? Hold their beer. Picture: Supplied

It Wasn’t Me – Shaggy ft. Rik Rok (2001)

A massive hit, but also an early gaslighting anthem. Shaggy and Rik Rok workshop how to lie to your partner’s face after Rik Rok’s girlfriend walked in on him rik rokking with a neighbour on the bathroom floor. “You better watch your back before she turn into a killer,” Shaggy says, mystifyingly. He could get cast on MAFS next year with this kind of twisted misogyny. This song has not aged well. (CA)

Rik Rok gets a lesson in lies from Shaggy on It Wasn’t Me. Picture: Getty Images via AFP

We Built This City – Starship (1986)

Regularly voted one of the worst songs of all time. Comes with nonsense lyrics “Marconi plays the mamba” from the usually more reliable pen of Bernie Taupin, who disowned the song after it moved from a darker beginning into a super-shiny ’80s pop tune. Singer Grace Slick has swung between loving and loathing the song – just to highlight how divisive it is. (CA)

Even members of Starship have disowned their own hit We Built This City. Picture: You Tube

4 Minutes — Madonna (2008)

Could have gone with her cover of American Pie, a No. 1 in 2000, but at least that has a tune. 4 Minutes saw Madonna hunting for a hit and plugging into the Timberland/Justin Timberlake machine, effectively becoming a guest in her own song. First Britney, then Janet and Madonna – what is it with Justin Timberlake and female pop icons? (CA)

Madonna and Justin Timberlake only had four minutes to find a hit. Picture: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

Jukebox in Siberia – Skyhooks (1990)

Australia wanted Skyhooks to reform so badly that they sent this comeback ditty to No.1. The band had some incredible songs, sadly this isn’t one of them. (CA)

Skyhooks deserve to be remembered for more than Jukebox in Siberia.

All Summer Long – Kid Rock (2008)

Donald Trump’s fave Kid Rock loved Sweet Home Alabama, Werewolves of London and Night Moves but he was unable to pen a song as good as those. So he just rewrote them – in the true spirit of make America great again! (CA)

Kid Rock rewrote some of his favourite songs as All Summer Long. Picture: You Tube

Let’s Get Ridiculous – Redfoo (2013)

You could at least see why those early LMFAO songs were hits. Redfoo’s solo single – only a hit in Australia – reminds you of those dark, dank days when he was briefly a star here. What were we thinking? (CA)

Remember when Redfoo was a thing? Picture: You Tube

Can We Fix It? – Bob the Builder (2001)

Another unnecessary musical crossover, turning the theme from a kids’ TV show into an entire song that would drive parents bonkers when it was played on repeat. Can we put a terminal scratch on the CD? Yes we can. (CA)

Children’s TV character Bob the Builder became a chart topper. Picture: Supplied

Kokomo – The Beach Boys (1988)

It was obviously a very different Beach Boys line-up that churned out this dross compared to a classic like God Only Knows. Recorded for a Tom Cruise movie and featuring John Stamos on bongos to make it even more ’80s, it was the start of Mike Love taking control of the band’s name and heading on a path that saw him play a mask-free show for Trump and supports last New Year’s Eve. This song would have gone down a treat for the MAGA crew. (CA)

This is the Kokomo era of the Beach Boys. Picture: Getty Images

Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West) – Benny Hill (1972)

This was a “surprise” Christmas hit for the British television star; more like a shocking waste of musical taste. Inspired by his earlier career as a milkman, Benny Hill employed the timeworn tricks of comedic pop – rhyme and innuendo about female body parts – to trot his way up the charts. (KMcC)

Would Benny Hill’s comedy have survived in the cancel culture era? Picture: Supplied

Do Ya Think I’m Sexy – Rod Stewart (1979)

Rockin’ Rod and his songwriters wanted to get a piece of the Bee Gees disco action on the pop charts so tailor-made this steamy seduction number for success. His rock fans were aghast about the sonic shift – they hated disco that much – but critics have since revised their misgivings to cite it as pop gold. Except this one. (KMcC)

Rod Stewart donated his royalties from Do You Think I’m Sexy to charity. Picture: Getty Images

Mull of Kintyre – Wings (1977)

Paul McCartney’s love song to his home in Scotland was the biggest selling single in the UK until Do They Know It’s Christmas. In Australia, it was No. 1 for a massive 11 weeks which is partly the reason why it polarises his older fans to this day. You just couldn’t get away from the song; it was everywhere. (KMcC)

Australians sent Mull of Kintyre to No. 1 for eleven long, long weeks. Picture: Gems/Redferns

Rasputin – Boney M (1978)

“Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen, there was a cat that really was gone”. Oh, those Australians, we just loved a bit of historical narrative dressed up as Euro disco. The second (and last) pop chart hit for the German group here – setting them up for a lifetime of pop festival appearances – enjoyed a Tik Tok viral revival in January. (KMcC)

We were really Russian to send Boney M up the chart back in 1978. Picture: Supplied

Touch Me (I Want Your Body) – Samantha Fox (1986)

The British model leapt from the pages of British tabloids to the top of the pop charts with this debut single. It was a solid ’80s synth pop number with added guitar grunt but Fox’s vocals were barely karaoke-worthy at best and fingernails-down-a-chalkboard screechy at worst. (KMcC)

In the 80s Samantha Fox forged a path from glamour model to pop star. Picture: Supplied

Boom Boom (Let’s Go Back To My Room) – Paul Lekakis (1987)

This was No. 1 for five weeks and Australia, you let that happen. Music fans here seem to have a penchant for Boom Boom songs as Justice Crew also hit No. 1 with a song of that title in 2013. Its sexual innuendo and Italo-disco vibe may have filled club dancefloors in the 1980s but that is also exactly why Paul Lekakis was a one-hit wonder. (KMcC)

Paul Lekakis actually toured Australia for the first time in 2016. Picture: Supplied

Bloke – Chris Franklin (2000)

The Australian comedian “celebrated” bogan culture with this parody response to the Meredith Brooks hit Bitch. Apparently at the turn of the millennium, “And I really love your knockers” was lyrical gold because it rhymed with ocker. (KMcC)

Chris Franklin had a turn of the century bogan comedy hit. Picture: Supplied

Love Is All Around – Wet Wet Wet (1994)

It was all in the band name really. The Scottish soft rock chart-toppers covered the Troggs’ sixties hit for Four Weddings and a Funeral, and it wasn’t love you could feel in your fingers and in your toes after being subjected to its excruciating ubiquity on pop radio and music video countdowns. (KMcC)

Marti Pellow sang Wet Wet Wet’s unavoidable cover of Love Is All Around. Picture: Supplied

Achy Breaky Heart – Billy Ray Cyrus (1992)

It’s the song you loved to hate and now a cult classic you hate to love. One of the biggest pop crossover hits in chart history, Achy Breaky Heart introduced a younger audience to country, launched linedancing as a cultural phenomenon and reinforced mullet pride in thousands of Australian men. (KMcC)

Dat mullet. The haircut may be back but the song is not. Billy Ray Cyrus. Picture: NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

I’m Too Sexy – Right Said Fred (1991)

This alleged parody of the era’s runway model culture misfired with its commentary but raced to the top of the charts anyway. Initially inspired by preening gym bros, the indie rock song was given a dance makeover at the suggestion of a radio DJ after being rejected by record labels. (KMcC)

Before they became anti-mask anti-lockdown protesters Right Said Fred had a hit. Picture: Getty Images

Cruisin’ – Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis (2001)

Before they uncoupled, Coldplay’s Chris Martin regularly joked in Australian interviews that his wife had scored a No. 1 hit here while his band had not. Revisiting this pedestrian ballad version of the Smokey Robinson song, 20 years after Paltrow and Lewis recorded it for the film Duets, makes you wonder if Martin ever wondered how the hell it got to No.1. (KMcC)

Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis were unlikely chart toppers. Picture: Hollywood Pictures/Getty Images

Who Let The Dogs Out? – Baha Men (2000)

So allegedly the verses of this built-for-novelty-success hit were intended to call out men who catcall women. The men are the dogs. NO one has ever listened to the verses of this song in the past two decades (besides me just now!) and the video undid any feminist intentions with its upskirt shots and bikini cleavage close-ups. (KMcC)

The Baha Men would only trouble the chart the once. Picture: Supplied

Blue (Da Ba Dee) – Eiffel 65 (1999)

Flume messed with us for his own amusement when he remixed this like-it-or-loathe-it piece of Euro pop trash last year. In doing so, he gave fresh life to an earworm some of us had spent two decades trying to dislodge from our hippocampus. Argh, da ba dee on repeat. (KMcC)

Did you own Blue by Eiffel 65 on CD single? You wouldn’t be alone. Picture: Supplied

The Logical Song – Scooter (2002)

One of the laziest pop formats to emerge in the past 50 years of contemporary music history involves a DJ or producer taking a classic hit, slapping a formulaic beat under it, some stinky synth lines on top and a predictable drop somewhere in the middle. It’s not a tribute, it’s a rip-off. (KMcC)

Scooter’s The Logical Song was perfect for doing laps. Picture: Supplied

Flaunt It – TV Rock (2006)

The Australian dance pop duo are to blame for reviving a word no one had used in decades to become a default description employed by gossip writers to caption a pap photo of any woman wearing swimwear. (KMcC)

Dance duo TV Rock hit No. 1 with their single Flaunt It. Picture: Supplied

Originally published as Are these the worst songs to hit No. 1 in Australia? Cast your vote