‘Eminently forgettable’: Why The Crow reboot is an insult to original

With neither the damaging energy nor the distinctive look of its predecessor, The Crow reboot has little chance of any afterlife sequel-wise, writes Leigh Paatsch.

From a gory and unnecessary action remake that crashes rather than flies to a fun frolic with the Fab Four, there’s plenty to choose from at the movies this week.

THE CROW (MA15+)

Bill Skarsgard in a scene from the movie The Crow.

Director: Rupert Sanders (Snow White and the Huntsman)

Starring: Bill Skarsgard, FKA Twigs, Danny Huston

Rating: ★★

Black around the eyes, dull around the edges

The first filmed flight of The Crow took off in 1994 in tragic circumstances.

The young star of that movie, Brandon Lee, died in a terrible on-set accident before shooting could be fully completed.

The sheer, saddening fact of knowing Lee’s fate gave the original The Crow a rare ability to genuinely haunt and even intimidate audiences of the time.

The movie was not exactly great, but it was unforgettable.

Brandon Lee in the ill-fated original version of The Crow.

So here we are three decades later – thanks to the ever-shifting sands of reactivated copyrights – with another version of The Crow.

This one ain’t so great and, for the most part, is eminently forgettable.

Most of the material worth remembering is crammed into a single set-piece sequence staged during an opening-night soiree at an opera house.

Our new Crow (played by a passable, though unnecessarily preening Bill Skarsgard) is here to exact revenge on the mob responsible for the death of his one true love.

The demonically gifted boss of the operation (Danny Huston) is propped up in his private box, enjoying the show.

Meanwhile, that Crow fella – all Gothed-up in that iconic leather-waistcoat-and-lathered-mascara combo – is methodically and maniacally killing his way up the enemy’s chain of command with a feral rage.

It is a truly shocking six-or-so minutes of screen time that wields an impact comparable to the best scenes lodged within the better horror flicks of 2024.

Other than a six-minute slay-a-thon, The Crow lacks either the damaging energy or the distinctive look of its predecessor. Picture: Larry Horricks

However, either side of this virtuoso slay-a-thon, The Crow is a thematically sluggish and visually sludgy experience, lacking either the damaging energy or the distinctive look of its predecessor.

On the acting front, Skarsgard does display a clear and committed work ethic that steadily intensifies as the movie builds towards its one big crescendo.

Unfortunately, he has to spend the first half of the production trying in vain to jump-start some kind of electricity with an inexperienced and inert co-star, singer-songwriter FKA Twigs.

As the ill-fated pair Eric and Shelly, Skarsgard and Twigs look good together, but sound irksomely unconvincing when tasked with talking at each other.

It is almost a blessing when the famous curse of The Crow finally kicks-in, and Eric becomes a miserable, immortal-ish madman determined to bring back his dead girlfriend from the afterlife.

Speaking of which, there’s little chance of any afterlife sequel-wise for this ropy reboot. Consider it a one-and-done collector’s item, and leave it at that.

The Crow is in cinemas now

MIDAS MAN (M)

Jacob Fortune-Lloyd in Midas Man.

Rating: ★★★

General release

This cheap and (mostly) cheerful biopic of the late Beatles manager Brian Epstein is a fun exercise in nostalgia, where the vibe is consistently toe-tapping and rarely thought-provoking. That might just be enough for music fans of a certain vintage to give Midas Man a deserved benefit of the doubt. If anything, this pleasing production has turned out slightly better than expected considering its troubled development (three different directors came and went during shooting) and limited soundtrack options (there’s not a single big Beatles hit to be heard due to cost restrictions).

This biopic of the late Beatles manager Brian Epstein does not have a single big Beatles hit to be heard due to cost restrictions.

Nevertheless, the bright and bouncy first half of the movie – where the focus is on how Epstein’s inexplicable and unwavering belief in The Beatles launched their meteoric rise – generates a momentum that carries the viewer past any obvious flaws. While the real Brian Epstein was a far more complicated, conflicted and colourful character than the one we see here, a genial and engaging performance by Jacob Fortune-Lloyd (The Queen’s Gambit) will keep most viewers on-side throughout. Co-stars Emily Watson, Eddie Marsan.

TOUCH (M)

R Kōki stars as Young Miko and Pálmi Kormákur as Young Kristofer in Touch. Picture: Focus Features

Rating: ★★★★

Selected cinemas

Not often we see a movie that hails from Iceland. Nor is it all that often such an old-fashioned tear-jerker of a romance finds its way into cinemas these days. Though undeniably predictable in terms of premise, structure and final outcome, this exquisitely produced and acted affair just does not put a foot wrong as it gently lures you towards its misty-eyed destination.

Be aware we will be dancing a two-timeline tango here. In 2020, a lonely Icelandic widower, Kristofer (Egill Olafsson), impulsively flies to London just as the Covid-19 lockdowns are starting. The reasons behind the impromptu trip are revealed within a glorious series of flashbacks to London in the late 1960s, where young exchange student Kris (the impossibly photogenic Palmi Kormakur) falls in love with a Japanese waitress named Miko.

These period-era sequences are supercharged with an emotional gravity that will soften the hardest of hearts, especially when we can sense that the potent, yet tender love this couple is sharing could be stamped with an irreversible expiry date. Lovely, lingering stuff.

Originally published as ‘Eminently forgettable’: Why The Crow reboot is an insult to original