Jodie Benveniste is combining her two skill-sets to help debut her novel, Never, Not Ever
Psychologist Jodie Benveniste believes she can help teens as they navigate the emotional minefield of mental health, sharing how “it has helped me the most in my life”. Here’s how.
Books & Magazines
Don't miss out on the headlines from Books & Magazines. Followed categories will be added to My News.
As a young girl, Jodie Benveniste dreamt of writing captivating stories full of drama, heart and emotion.
As an adult, she’s built a reputation as a psychologist adept at helping families and young people navigate growing mental health difficulties.
Now, she’s combining those two skill-sets with her debut novel, Never, Not Ever, the tale of a young teen who grapples with family secrets and emotional upsets, and along the way finds answers to managing her mental health.
“It stands alone as a story but it also can act as a guide for young people and their parents,” says the 53-year-old, who ran her own private psychology practice in Frewville but now concentrates on writing and consulting.
“I’ve been wanting to teach and help and have an impact. It felt like in the genre of fiction, people were treating mental health like tragedy or they were treating it like it was just a character trait. You would have an anxious character and that would be the source of conflict but they were not working through it.
“We were missing this opportunity to talk differently about mental health and to introduce people to this idea of mental health healing, not just mental health dealing. And that’s what I think this book can do.”
Never, Not Ever tells the story of Tilly, who lives in Adelaide with her single, workaholic and emotionally distant mum and is grieving the loss of her loving, supportive grandmother.
On her 16th birthday, her mysterious father – who she has never met – turns up, unleashing an emotional tumult that disturbs long-kept family secrets. And on top of all this, she’s falling in love for the first time.
Tilly seeks the help of a psychologist, who introduces her to IFS, or internal family systems – a groundbreaking therapy that Benveniste has used in her own clinical practice and is reflected in the much-loved Pixar movies Inside Out and Inside Out 2.
Benveniste says just like in the movies, IFS acknowledges the protective parts of a person’s personality, such as anxiety, anger, depression, sadness and frustration.
IFS – the “most transformative modality I’ve ever experienced” that’s beloved by celebrities including authors Elizabeth Gilbert and Glennon Doyle, reality TV star Jonathan Van Ness and singer Alanis Morissette – also addresses “younger” parts of a person’s mental health that evolve from shame, trauma and pain. The protective role they play is acknowledged, allowing the client to process them and move forward. “I’ve had a lot of amazing success with IFS with adults and teenagers,” says Benveniste.
“It’s also the therapy that’s helped me the most in my life.”
Growing up, Benveniste was obsessed with reading books, writing and storytelling.
That passion drove her through school at Unley High into an arts degree at Adelaide University, where she completed honours in psychology “to make sure I have a career”.
After working in HR consulting in Sydney and then parenting education back in Adelaide, she eventually established her own private practice in Frewville, where she became one of the first South Australians to train in IFS.
It had a powerful impact on her clients, who were able to “process past traumas, overcome anxiety, stress and overwhelm and improve their relationships with themselves and others”. But after turning 50, the longing to write fiction became all-consuming.
“I thought: ‘I can’t ignore this desire anymore’, it felt non-negotiable,” she says.
“I really wanted to incorporate IFS into the fiction in some way – not didactically or in a way that there was a really obvious agenda, the story has to stand alone with it.
“The more and more I explored, the more I was being drawn to this story that wanted to be written and it was about a teen. And there’s no way I would have thought I’d be writing young adult fiction but that was the story.”
For Never, Not Ever, Benveniste drew on the strongly felt emotions of her own childhood to bring Tilly’s teen turbulence to life.
It’s not autobiographical but it taps into the tribulations of growing up and facing difficulties.
Born in Port Augusta, Benveniste moved to Crystal Brook and Murray Bridge before her dad’s studies took her family to Columbus, Ohio, in Middle America when she was just 12.
“It was really hard at that age,” she says. “It really felt like the movies, all those cliches you see in teen movies, all these cliques. I fitted into the one that no one else fitted into with a couple of other exchange students. I dressed a bit different and had a strange accent but at that age, you just want to belong and I felt like I didn’t.”
Benveniste says IFS identifies those sorts of painful feelings and experiences as younger protective parts of a person’s mental health.
They can manifest themselves into unhelpful emotions that traditionally have been ignored or suppressed. But with the right support, they can be managed to bring about healing.
“There were lots of people in my generation and my parents’ generation who struggled but it was just like ‘get on with it’,” Benveniste says.
“We’ve seen the rise of over-parenting and that’s all about protecting our kids from not experiencing things that we experienced and don’t want them to. But we have to let them experience life and then you’ve got to support them – that’s what we didn’t get, that support. But you’ve got to let them do it because then they can grow.
“Lots of parents are dealing with their own anxieties and then they have anxious kids. But we’ve got to grow together. And I think IFS really helps with that because it helps us to understand that that’s a part of us, we can work with that part, it has good intentions to protect us and it doesn’t always have to play that role.”
Benveniste has self-published her first novel, printing 1000 copies through SA firm Griffin Press. The process – which involved enlisting the services of a US-based editor to ensure the Adelaide-based story has “global appeal” as well as a book editor, proofreader and graphic designer – cost about $8000. She has already recouped her investment from sales of Never, Not Ever, which is available online as an e-book and through five Adelaide book stores – Mostly Books in Mitcham, Shakespeare’s Books in Blackwood, Matildas in Stirling and Dymocks in Hyde Park and the city.
An audio book is in the works, voiced by Benveniste’s daughter, 21-year-old Wirra, who is a drama student at Flinders University.
“I’ve had 70-year-old men loving it, so many grandmas, parents,” says Benveniste, who lives in Belair with Wirra, her son, Jet, 19, and husband of 25 years, interior designer Wayne Dixon.
“The thing about YA (young adult) fiction is that 50 per cent of readers are adults. Some of it’s probably a little bit of nostalgia but IFS would say we all have at least one inner teen that holds really quite potent energy. That age is a vulnerable, challenging time, you don’t really know who you are but there’s this excitement that we forget about when we become adults or we miss it. That’s why I think so many adults still like reading YA.”
A clarion moment for Benveniste – and her quest to use her fiction to help others – came when a friend read her book. This friend had a daughter who had struggled with mental health issues and Benveniste had shared literature about IFS. But it was only after the friend read Never, Not Ever – and shared it with her daughter – that she was convinced to look into it further.
“That’s when I realised how much impact you can have through story. The fact that lots of adults read YA is actually really good because it’s a connector between you and your teen and you can have conversations about stuff that you wouldn’t otherwise,” she says. “We’ve always known how powerful story is but I’m seeing it in terms of my work plus it’s also what I love doing most.”
Never, Not Ever is part of a series of books Benveniste is planning to write about Tilly’s friendship group. She has already sent her second instalment to her book editor. It focuses on Tilly’s best friend, Eliza, who is having issues around body-image and disordered eating.
Benveniste is hoping to tap into an evolving attitude that has seen younger generations, in particular, destigmatise and normalise mental health. And she hopes Never, Not Ever can help to provide a path forward.
“I think there’s a lot of struggle, which is not bad, but it’s an invitation and indication that there’s healing possible,” she says. “You can heal – this is the conversation that we need to have.” ■
More Coverage
Originally published as Jodie Benveniste is combining her two skill-sets to help debut her novel, Never, Not Ever