The worst Academy Awards speeches of all time

YOU’VE got limited time, a lot of people to thank, and millions watching. It’s a wonder Oscar speeches don’t go as badly as these more often.

WITH limited time, the eyes of the world on you and a list as long as your arm of people you have to thank, accepting an Academy Award must be one of the most nerve-racking things in the world.

It’s no wonder it occasionally goes pear-shaped. From awkward omissions to unwanted advances to celebs who just wouldn’t shut up — here are some of the most painful speeches in Oscars history:

ANGELINA JOLIE

Angelina Jolie with brother James Haven, keeping it in the family. Picture: AAP

“I’m in shock and I’m so in love with my brother right now!” is how Jolie opened her Oscars speech when she won for Best Supporting Actress in 2000.

“He just held me and said he loved me and I know he’s so happy for me. Thank you for that. Jamie, I have nothing without you. You are the strongest, most amazing man I’ve ever known and I love you.”

Angelina Jolie loves her brother James Haven, got it? We really didn’t need any more convincing, but Jolie and Haven repeatedly kissed on the mouth in front of the world’s press during the evening just to prove their affections. Really guys, it’s fine. We get it. Please stop.

JULIA ROBERTS

Julia Roberts talked, and talked, and talked.

Roberts was utterly charming during her five-minute speech — one of the longest in Oscar history, thanks no doubt to her insistence when she took to the stage that the orchestra conductor not play her off because she had a lot to say.

And she sure did, thanking co-stars, agents, producers, her fellow nominees — but not Erin Brockovich, the inspirational real-life woman she won her Oscar for portraying. Ouch.

She’s not the only actor to waffle on while omitting someone very important — Hilary Swank forgot to thank her husband when she won her first award in 2000. She rectified the gaffe when she won again five years later — but they split the following year.

ADRIEN BRODY

Yeah, not cool, Brody. Picture: AP

Winning the 2003 Best Actor award for The Pianist, Brody strode on stage and planted a big kiss on presenter Halle Berry. Make that an extended face-smash, dipping — and pretty much immobilising — the stunned Berry as he held her tight. It was not a rehearsed bit, and Berry was clearly taken by surprise.

To this year’s nominees: If you win, do not molest the presenter. We cannot stress this enough.

SALLY FIELD

Perhaps the most famous — or infamous — quote from an Oscars speech, ever. Overcome with emotion, Field finished her 1985 Best Actress acceptance speech — awarded for her role in Places In The Heart — by hysterically blubbering to a room full of her peers: “I can’t deny the fact that you like me! Right now, you like me!”

The speech is a noted example of the Mandela Effect, whereby many people remember a fact or phrase wrong — in this example, it’s commonly and incorrectly thought Field said: “You like me, you really like me!”

SEAN PENN

Sean Penn, a bit of a grump. Picture: AP

Not a winner’s speech, but Penn’s presenting duties on stage at the 2005 Oscars are worth mentioning, seeing as the grumpy actor used his brief time on stage to call out the host of the ceremony.

During his opening monologue, comedian Chris Rock had riffed on one Hollywood star’s busy year: “Who is Jude Law?” Rock asked. “Why is he in every movie I have seen the last four years?”

When Penn had his moment on stage later in the night, he opened with this po-faced announcement: “Forgive my compromised sense of humour, but I did want to answer our host’s question about who Jude Law is. He’s one of our FINEST actors.”

Cue polite, muted applause from about three audience members. Cringe.

ANNE HATHAWAY

Hathaway was always the hot favourite to take out the Best Supporting Actress award at the 2013 Oscars — and so she did. Taking to the stage, she uttered three small words before even properly starting her speech that would come to haunt her: “It came true.” It seemed treacly, rehearsed, an insincere attempt at sincerity — and made the rest of her speech an uphill battle.

JAMES CAMERON

But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end?

Look, we’ll give him marks for enthusiasm, but there are few moments in Oscars history more obnoxious than Titanic director Cameron holding his 1997 Best Director award aloft and screaming into the microphone, “I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD!”

GWYNETH PALTROW

Gwyneth’s effort was standard-fare gushing acceptance speech stuff, until three minutes in when she started to talk about her family and became so overcome with emotion that when the cameras cut to her mum — fellow actress Blythe Danner, seated in the audience — even she looked uncomfortable:

Mother Blythe Danner watches on.

Gwyneth loses it.

Originally published as The worst Academy Awards speeches of all time