Best ways to keep your child safe at childcare in Australia
There are many ways Australian parents can keep their child safe when they enter childcare to prevent sexual abuse. See expert tips on the signs and questions you need to ask at childcare.
There are many ways Australian parents can keep their child safe when they enter childcare to prevent sexual abuse.
Caroline Whitehouse, a manager and family therapist from a specialist sexual assault service in Melbourne has answered the important questions about how parents should support their child in the event of sexual abuse.
How do I help my child if I think they have been harmed?
For parents facing the uncertainty of whether their child has been harmed, it’s important to remember every child responds differently to abuse.
As the closest adults in their lives, parents are best placed to notice changes in behaviour. Keeping routines consistent can help children feel safe and supported.
“Even though you may want to scoop them up and change their routines, you know keep them home from school or keep them home from childcare, it actually helps children to feel safer after something like this if their normal routines can be maintained,” Ms Whitehouse said.
“So that means going to the same places, same bedtimes, same routines can help children feel really contained and safe.”
Should I speak to my child about what is happening?
It can be hard to know if or how to talk to your child about potential abuse, especially if they’re very young. If you’re unsure whether they’ve experienced harm, specialist sexual assault services can help guide a safe, trauma-informed approach tailored to your child’s age and needs.
“Speaking together as a family in a way that is appropriate for the age of each of your children can be a really helpful thing,” Ms Whitehouse said.
“It can be really confusing or destabilising to know that something weird is going down and they’re not privy to it.”
If my child has been harmed, will this impact their future?
It’s natural for parents to feel anger and distress, and to worry about long-term impacts. But experts say lasting harm often comes from a lack of support — not the abuse itself. With the right help, children can recover, heal, and thrive.
“More so than anything else it’s about the love and the time and the attention that you as a parent can give to your child,” she said.
How do I respond if my child discloses sexual abuse?
Children usually confide in someone they trust and feel safe with. If a child discloses abuse, listen calmly and without judgment. Reassure them that you believe them, they’re not to blame, and they did the right thing by speaking up. Avoid direct or leading questions — instead, use open-ended prompts like “tell me more about that.”
“If a child decides to tell you that something like this has happened to them, you’ve already won half the battle in that they trust you,” Ms Whitehouse said.
“The best thing you can do is be calm, which is easier said than done, and just listen openly.”
Take some time for yourself
It is also important to recognise that you yourself may need time for yourself, in order for you to create a positive, supportive environment.
Looking after yourself can include formal counselling, but it could also mean spending time in nature, with trusted people like family and friends or doing breathing exercises.
“Children will take their cues from you in terms of feeling in control and feeling safe,” she said.
“So like the aeroplane analogy, always fit your oxygen mask before helping others.”
If you or anyone else needs to report it, dial Triple Zero (000).
How to talk to your child about preventing abuse
According to advice on the Bravehearts website, parents should discuss three personal safety rules:
1. We all have the right to feel safe with people.
2. It’s OK to say ‘NO’ if you feel unsafe or unsure.
3. Nothing is so yucky that you can’t tell someone about it.
Discussing your child’s personal safety should not be a one-off conversation.
They suggest parents should have an ongoing dialogue about it.
“Always let your child know you are there for them, and keeping them safe is your number one priority,” it states.
“It is recommended that you teach your child the correct language for their private parts. Emphasise that those parts are private and belong to them.
“Try not to scare or alarm your child. Speak calmly and confidently, keeping a neutral, natural tone, ensuring that you allow time for your child to process the information and ask questions. “Never make them feel ashamed or embarrassed about sexuality or body parts.”
How to spot signs of sexual abuse
According to the National Office for Child Safety, physical signs a child may have experienced child sexual abuse include:
*headaches
*stomach aches
*bed-wetting
*change in appetite and/or weight loss
*nightmares and sleep disturbances
*bruises on soft parts of the body, like buttocks or thighs
*changes in the genital area, such as redness, swelling, or discharge
*pain or burning when going to the toilet.
Children and young people who are sexually abused may find it difficult to process their trauma. They could also show signs of:
*depression, anxiety and mood changes, including social withdrawal and disassociation
*self-harm or suicidal ideation
*poor self-care or personal hygiene
*harmful and volatile substance use
*over-compliance and eagerness to please
*aggressiveness and anger
*running away
*desexualisation – for example, wearing baggy clothes to hide their gender
anxiety-related illnesses such as anorexia or bulimia fear and avoidance of certain people and places
Young children or young people with a disability could also exhibit:
*behavioural issues, particularly those the child or young person has not shown in the past, including emotional outbursts, self-harm and heightened aggression
*regression in developmental achievements
*developmental delays, for example, delayed speech, crawling or walking self-stimulatory behaviours, for example, rocking and head banging.
What should parents be looking for in a childcare centre?
Parents can consider a childcare centre’s quality rating, the time and days your child needs care, it’s location, how they celebrate and accomodate for different cultural backgrounds, and your child’s healthcare needs. Parents should also ensure the centre can cater for any disablity, learning and support needs.
What should parents be asking childcare providers?
According to the ACCCE and Project Paradigm’s ‘It’s Never Too Early’ campaign around prevneting childhood sexual abuse, these are common questions you should ask:
“What are the qualifications and training of educators?”
“What is the ratio of children to educators?”
“When attending to my child’s personal needs, are the educators alone with my child?”
“What is your policy on staff using their phones or cameras?”
“What is your child protection policy?”
“What is your centre’s quality rating?”
“What are your policies on sleeping, toileting and social media?”
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Originally published as Best ways to keep your child safe at childcare in Australia
