Who needs B-listers with F-cups in G-strings looking sexy while breastfeeding? Parenting trends to avoid
Who needs B-listers with F-cups in G-strings looking sexy while breastfeeding? Here are the parenting trends to avoid, says Susie O’Brien
As older members of Gen Z prepare for parenthood, they’re busy judging the way they were raised by their Gen X parents.
I don’t blame them.
From sharenting to soft-porn pregnancies to “gentle” mothering, these are the parenting trends Gen Z should ditch.
Social media perfection
I am sick of my social media feed being clogged up by B-listers with F-cups in G-strings looking sultry while breastfeeding. Social media mums are the worst kind of self-obsessed individuals. You know, the kind of woman who films her husband’s reaction to her pregnancy announcement, then posts an endless array of highly curated snaps showing her doing yoga poses on the beach while pregnant. She will then name the new bub via a contest on Instagram, live stream the birth and then use her newborn twins as barbells. No thanks.
Sharenting
Let’s hope this new generation of parents works out that no one is as interested as they pretend to be in other people’s children. There’s nothing worse than people who overshare the most intimate details of their lives online. I know that some of my friends are scrunchers rather than folders . I know their husbands like to do Wordle on the loo. (Ewww. ) One friend of mine even posted pictures of her son’s earwax in the hope that someone else would help her diagnose a medical condition. Somewhere between a parent’s right to free speech and a child’s right to privacy is everyone else’s right not to be bored shitless.
Soft-porn pregnancies
When I was pregnant, I had varicose veins like a tug-of-war rope. I sweated like a zoo animal and looked like a flesh-coloured Teletubby with an out-of-control bikini line. Perhaps this is why I do not understand some women’s obsession with documenting every aspect of their pregnancies on social media. Funnily enough, it’s mainly women who are stick thin with perfect pert bellies. I think it’s great if women stay in shape and want to celebrate the fact. But I fail to see how exhibitionist soft-porn pregnant selfies are going to inspire anyone.
Gender reveals
Twenty years ago, when I was pregnant with my first child, I had a gender reveal.
It involved peering at a grainy image on a radiographer’s screen, who solemnly pointed out the “boy bit”. Now couples invite everyone they know and spend thousands of dollars creating picture-perfect social media moments dramatically revealing the gender of their unborn child using smoke cannons and low-flying aircraft. Such parties – even the sweet and boring ones rather than those visited by fire brigades – are an exercise in self-absorption with a side order of rampant individualism. I’d prefer to squeeze my kids’ blackheads than spend an afternoon pinning a penis on a foetus before watching people cry while cutting open a cake.
Positive parenting
There’s a breed of parents who are intent on never saying anything negative to their kids. Instead of saying no, they say, “maybe you should try this” and instead of “don’t” they say “consider the consequences”. Parents have rules to follow too. Instead of saying “quit your whining, you’re giving me a headache”, a positive parent would say “use your words”. It sounds so lovely but does it make kids any better behaved? No really. Parents end up tip-toeing around their kids, too scared to tell them off for fear of making them anxious or violating their human rights as autonomous individuals. It’s an exhausting con. Kids need to be encouraged and supported, but they also need to know who’s boss.
Natural parenting
Natural mothers breastfeed until the child decides he or she has had enough, let the kids sleep in their bed and wear them in a sling around the clock. Also known as attachment, intentional or Zen parenting, natural parenting think they are wiring their children’s brains for empathy and trust. Yes, and they’re also the kind of parents who can’t talk about anything but their kids, get three broken hours of sleep a night and have four days’ worth of high-tide breast milk stains on their tops. Run a mile.
To those who are preparing for parenthood, I wish you all the best.
Live, laugh, love and make mistakes. That’s what’s real, not looking orgasmic while breastfeeding in a bikini on a beach at sunset.
Susie O’Brien is the author of The Secret of Half-Arsed Parenting. Do you have other parenting trends to share? Leave a comment below or email education@news.com.au
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Originally published as Who needs B-listers with F-cups in G-strings looking sexy while breastfeeding? Parenting trends to avoid
