Stop mocking us: The joke’s on private school parents as satirical websites lampoon their wealth – but not everyone sees the funny side

They’re often lampooned as privileged, pampered and precious, but are private school parents given a raw deal? Some argue satirical news stories are “doing real harm”.

Satirical sites like Double Bay Today often mock private school parents as snobby and out-of-touch, but not everyone is amused.

“SCEGGS Redlands School announces new helicopter shuttle service so students and parents can avoid the traffic on Military Rd”.

The online headline caught my attention on Wednesday. That’s a story, I thought.

When I clicked on the link it was obvious that it was a spoof from Double Bay Today. Of course it was!

But at the same time, I do know one private school granddaughter of a billionaire who used to post photos from her helicopter commute between the family’s compound on the Mornington Peninsula and her Melbourne girls’ school. #beatthetraffic #bless

Private school graduates are often portrayed as privileged, pampered and precious – they’re the butt of many jokes with their fancy hair, entitled offspring and trust-fund wardrobes.

One of the spoof articles from Double Bay Today.

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But the boss of Independent Schools Australia argues that being “reduced to a stereotype of privilege and wealth is upsetting to parents and teachers” and is “doing real harm”.

As regular readers will know, we’ve had a bit of a laugh at the expense of private schools ourselves. See here.

If you’ve ever overheard a conversation about the difficulties of doing up the pool house at the beach (“sooo hard to get good tradies on the coast”), or one on the merits of the performance of the latest model 2025 Porsche Cayenne SUV in the snow (“Not as good as the Beamer, you know”), chances are you’re in a prime private school patch.

There’s Shore, SCEGGS and Kambala in Sydney, St Caths, Scotch and Carey in Melbourne, Churchie, BBC and St Aidan’s in Brissie, and Saints, PAC and Pembroke in Adelaide.

Double Bay Today has worked this fertile terrain effectively since 2019, offering great fake yarns lampooning those from the area’s plethora of private colleges.

There’s “Former private school boy torn between wearing his chinos normally, or rolling them slightly up to flaunt the labels on his R.M. Williams” and “Eastern suburbs former private school boy now calling everyone ‘cuz’ in desperate bid to fit in at the Lakemba night markets”.

My favourites are “Cranbrook School hires entire SCG members area for former & current students to watch alumnus Sam Konstas bat” and “Local private girls school changes uniform to activewear ‘to prepare students for the real world’,”. That one was about Ascham, a girls’ school in Sydney.

Double Bay Today often portrays private school parents as elitist and absurdly rich.

These articles are funny, because they are clever and just a little bit true! I’ve been a private school student and public school parent, so I’ve seen both sides.

Betoota Advocate often treads the same path, although at times with a little more venom.

“Private school kid secures job based entirely on own merit,” says one recent Betoota offering. “Private school celebrates NAIDOC by making the only Murri student speak in front of 2000 people,” says another. (Must admit I’ve had this thought myself!)

“Elite private school boys caught acting like elite Sydney private school boys again,” says a third, next to a Knox Grammar logo.

The former journalist who founded Double Bay Today says he just wants to make people laugh.

Simon Palan, a former ABC TV journo who founded Double Bay Today admits he’s a former private school student.

“The whole idea that private school students are a different breed to others fits very neatly into satire,” he says. “It’s a good stomping ground.”

Mr Palan argues private schools are “big enough targets”.

“I don’t want to upset anyone, I just want to make people laugh,” he says. “I hope people see it as humour rather than a socio-economic target.”

So what do the schools think of all this merriment at their expense? Frankly, they’re not amused.

Graham Catt, the CEO of Independent Schools Australia, argues private school parents don’t appreciate being the butt of an endlessly recycled joke.

“Independent schools today are filled with low and middle-income families who take second jobs and go without so they can give their children opportunities. To be reduced to a stereotype of privilege and wealth is upsetting to parents and teachers,” said Graham Catt, chief executive officer of Independent Schools Australia.

“Everyone enjoys a laugh, but nobody enjoys being the butt of a joke. When that same joke is recycled endlessly it doesn’t just hurt families and teachers, it starts shaping how people view ordinary families doing the best for their kids. That’s doing real harm.

“It’s funny that low and middle-income parents paying school fees get lampooned, but multi-millionaires buying into a public school catchment is seen as aspirational. That double standard is never called out.”

A PR executive who works closely with private schools says many “find it annoying to be portrayed as elitist”.

“Not all private schools have Olympic-sized swimming pools or offer fancy camps to Europe,” he says. “Although there are plenty of schools with lots of kids of CEOs, most have fees of under $10,000 and two hardworking parents.”

He says schools “play along when it’s tongue-in-cheek, they are very wary of anything that portrays them as elitist”.

So are private school parents fair game or should we give them a break? Leave a comment below or email us at [e-mail]

Originally published as Stop mocking us: The joke’s on private school parents as satirical websites lampoon their wealth – but not everyone sees the funny side