How one co-ed school is switching kids’ self-loathing into self-esteem

Many teenagers view themselves negatively, but one co-ed school is making a big change to help girls discover self-worth and teach boys what masculinity really means.

Presenter Angela Nicole (centre) with student Lilly Baranyay, 17, and head of senior school Janine Haymes at The Scots School Albury.

Australian schools are increasingly turning their focus to student wellbeing – integrating activities that build empowerment, self-worth and resilience – in a bid to “give them the skills they need to live a happy, healthy life”.

In an era when school-aged children are often portrayed in the media as toxic, fragile or risk-prone, The Scots School Albury is attempting to reshape how young people perceive themselves and the world around them.

The school recently held workshops led by youth advocate and educator Daniel Principe and empowerment coach Angela Nicole for students in years 9 to 12.

Girls from Scots College Albury listening to the presentation by Angela Nicole.

Mr Principe encourages boys to see themselves as part of a greater narrative: that they matter, that people matter, and that their relationships matter.

“We take a strengths‑based approach, building on their capacity for courage, empathy, and respect,” he says.

He prompts students to critically reflect on received messages about masculinity, relationships, and sexuality.

“Without intentional guidance, these forces can narrow their view of themselves and their relationships sometimes in ways that cause harm to themselves and others,” Mr Principe said.

Scots head of senior school Janine Haymes said workshops like these are essential for equipping young people with the “skills they need for resilience”.

“It’s about taking action and thinking about what the students are dealing with, but also being reactive ... looking at what is going on in the media, what’s important context for the young people,” Ms Haymes said.

“I believe it is about giving our young people a voice – and not just saying they have a voice, but really listening and thinking about it from their perspective and meeting them at their point of need.

“It is central to one’s wellbeing to feel you have power, that you are able to affect things ... for us it is about looking after our young people and giving them the skills they need to live a healthy and happy life.

“Empowerment is about giving them a voice but also giving them the skills they need for resilience.”

The catalyst for the presentations was the release of the Netflix series Adolescence – amid media narratives questioning young men’s sense of identity.

“If our young people feel like they’re being attacked ... it is our role as educators to step in and empower them,” Ms Haymes said.

For Scots’ incoming school captain, 17-year-old Finn McDonnell, the pressures young men face are prevalent and they need to be reminded to not “(play) into those stereotypes”.

“Daniel spoke to us about navigating those images and instead of playing into those stereotypes, creating your own image of positive masculinity,” Finn said.

“There’s always that stigma of men and what it means to be a man”.

Boys from Scots School Albury listen to Daniel Principe's presentation.

Another student, 16-year-old Archie Showers, said Mr Principe reminded the young men about “what a gift masculinity is”.

“It is a tool that can be used for good, if you’re kind and respectful to others, masculinity is a great thing,” Archie said.

Scots School Albury, a coeducational primary and secondary school, recognised that the challenges faced by young men and women are vastly different.

Year 11 student and incoming school captain Lily Baranyay said that “it is not just online but also in the schoolyard you have (girls) speaking negatively to one another or about themselves”.

Presenter Angela Nicole talks to the female students.

Angela Nicole spoke with the young women and warned that this “self-loathing and self-hatred” can turn into a mental health crisis if they are not taught self-worth and empowerment.

“They need it even more now because social media is so prevalent telling them they are not good enough ... statistics say that it’s worse than it’s ever been,” Ms Nicole said.

“Their self-esteem is dying, I feel like if we don’t do this we are raising generations of girls that are filled with self-loathing and self-hatred and it scares me a lot.

“I asked the question ‘do you think you have a choice over your thoughts’ and everyone said no. Your thoughts aren’t real, you actually have a choice over the thoughts you think and you can choose to think negative thoughts about yourself or you can choose to think positive thoughts about yourself.”

Can you really teach kids self-worth? What are your experiences of such workshops? Comment below or email [e-mail]

Originally published as How one co-ed school is switching kids’ self-loathing into self-esteem