Barefoot Investor: The ultimate present for your dad is creating a memory to treasure

When our home burned to the ground, my wife’s final memories of her father were lost in the ashes. It’s a tragedy which inspired what I think is the best present you can give your own dad — and best of all, it’s free, writes the Barefoot Investor.

Every Mother’s Day, my wife and her girlfriends have a tradition.

They book a fancy restaurant, get all dressed up, looking a million bucks … And then?

They offload the kids on to their husbands and spend the rest of the day drinking champers together!

Now that it’s Father’s Day, I figure “if it’s good for the ewes, it’s good for the rams”.

So today I’m starting a brand-new tradition: me and the other husbands are putting on our cleanest jeans, offloading the kids, and heading to a local joint for a brew or two (or three).

Nice one.

Yet there’s another Father’s Day tradition that I’ve been doing in these pages for years, and I’d like to share it with you. See, it’s a bit of a cliche that every dad gets a mug … or a key ring … or a block of chocolate … or a tie.

But what I want to share with you today is a present that you and your dad will treasure.

And even better? It won’t cost you a thing.

Let me explain … You see, my wife’s father died a few years before I met her.

When our house burned to the ground in 2014, we lost some of the last remaining photos of him, the letters he’d written, and the paintings he cherished.

How does my wife explain to me who her father was? How does she explain to our sons who grandpa was?

Her physical reminders are now lost in the ashes.

So, I made a pact with her that each year I’d share with you, my readers, the ultimate present for dads.

Father’s Day is a day to treasure our dads.

THE ULTIMATE PRESENT FOR DAD

If you’re lucky enough to have your father still with you, here’s how you can give him the ultimate present. Go and see him, whip out your phone, hit ‘record’, and ask him the following questions:

1. How did you meet mum?

2. What advice can you share with me about money, life and happiness?

3. What does being a dad mean to you?

4. What are you most proud of?

5. How would you like to be remembered?

This is not for Facebook. It’s for you and your family’s legacy. One day, it’s all you’ll have left of him.

And you’ll treasure it.

No one should hand over the responsibility of managing their money.

Q&As

Oh no, I owe MyBudget $1250

TARA ASKS: I signed up with a money managing agency MyBudget because I felt that some financial structure and discipline would be good, and also to make my parents happy.

Unfortunately, the model did not work for me.

I do not think it is okay for someone with mental health issues to be told they cannot see their psychologist because there is no money for it, or they cannot have their prescriptions filled at the chemist for the same reason.

At the time, I signed a contract for 12 months but I found it far too restrictive and inflexible, and started managing my money myself again after only a few months. The trouble is, I ended up owing MyBudget approx. $1250 in fees and charges.

I was asked to pay within a time frame but I never did, as I couldn’t afford it.

Now I am following the Barefoot steps, I don’t think I can say I am truly debt free and don’t owe a cent to anyone until I clear this. So I would like your advice as to what to do — pay up, or assume that MyBudget have written off the debt?

BAREFOOT REPLIES: I wouldn’t pay them.

Then again, I don’t think anyone should pay them.

First, because they’ve built their business on the back of broke, vulnerable people.

(For those who don’t know, MyBudget is the financial equivalent of having a personal trainer come around, lock your fridge and dish out the food to you.)

Second, because they charge too bloody much.

(Over a thousand dollars upfront, as well as ongoing fees.)

Quick quiz: if MyBudget are running your budget, guess who gets paid first?

If you answered “my psychologist”, or maybe “the chemist for my prescribed medicine”, you would be wrong.

Third, because no one should hand over the responsibility of managing their money.

Seriously, if what you’re saying is true — that their budgeting person said you should scrimp on mental health and prescriptions ‒ that’s kind of … crazy.

So I’d write a letter to them explaining your issues and saying that you got awful service, and because of that you’d like them to write off the debt (and provide you with a letter confirming they’ve done it).

And if they say no, I’ll take it up on your behalf.

Note to readers: if you’re having problems with debt, you should ring 1800 007 007 and speak to a community-based financial counsellor. They offer an independent service, and best of all they don’t charge $1250 … they do it for free.

My baby sent me broke

KATIE ASKS: Over the last two-and-a-half years we have had two babies and a wedding. Our first baby came earlier than planned so it wasn’t covered by private health, and we made the silly choice to pay for it out of pocket.

Then, over a couple of years on one income ($240,000), we have accumulated two credit card bills totalling a hefty $60,000. We have now read your book and managed to pay off two large loans using your method, but we do not know how to get these credit cards paid off. Please help!

BAREFOOT REPLIES: Look, I’m all for blaming my kids for everything (especially on a Sunday morning), but $60,000?

Seriously?

The cost of having a kid in a private hospital, assuming no complications, is about $10k.

Other parents have weddings and babies, but they don’t have $60k on the never-never. You’re earning $13k a month in the hand, but you’re broke. Why? Because you’re spending too much.

If you’re looking for a magic wand, you can go to MyBudget (see above).

But if you ask me, you’ve already proved to yourself twice that you can pay down debt, so three times is a charm.

Besides, you guys are high income earners — you could have this debt paid off within the year. Even better, you’ll set a great example for your kids.

Tim Fischer. Picture: Zoe Phillips

RIP Tim Fischer — a giant of a man

CASS WRITES: Thank you for sharing your memories last week about Tim Fischer. That can’t have been an easy thing for you to do. I grew up in the bush myself and have a very strong appreciation for Tim.

MORE BAREFOOT INVESTOR

I am also the daughter of a farmer who was incensed with the change in gun laws after the Port Arthur Massacre. But after seeing Tim speak at a community function Dad came home and packed up the gun shed: “It’s just not necessary”, he said. Then I was in the USA for university just after the Columbine shootings — I could not have been more proud to be Australian. Tim was a giant.

BAREFOOT REPLIES: Thanks for sharing your story. I received hundreds of emails from readers about Tim, and it made a tough week a little brighter reading through the stories of people just like you.

This week I spoke at Tim’s funeral, and it was one of the greatest honours of my life. He was a decent man who left Australia a better place. That’s all you can ask for at the end of your life, right?

If you have a burning money question, go to barefootinvestor.com and #askbarefoot

The Barefoot Investor for Families: The Only Kids’ Money Guide You’ll Ever Need (HarperCollins)RRP $29.99

The Barefoot Investor holds an Australian Financial Services Licence (302081). This is general advice only. It should not replace individual, independent, personal financial advice.

Originally published as Barefoot Investor: The ultimate present for your dad is creating a memory to treasure