Dane Eldridge: Origin ‘sterile as buggery’ without Ray Warren in commentary

Wednesday night’s Origin match will go down as one of the most forgettable of all time for Blues fans - and it’s mostly due to the absence of one person.

SOO 2023 RD01 Queensland v New South Wales - James Tedesco Cameron Murray Apisai Koroisau, Dejection. NRL State of Origin . New South Wales v Queensland at Adelaide Oval .Picture: NRL Photos/Gregg Porteous

Last night’s Origin was another forgettable squib for New South Wales fans, and the quicker it is lobotomised from the state’s collective psyche, the better.

But while the frustration will linger as we mourn the loss and forget about it 35 seconds later, one factor will ensure the memory does not persist- and that factor is Mat Thompson.

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With all due respect to the rookie Nine commentator, he’s doing a prudent job as the free-to-air network’s lead-off caller- and last night was no exception.

But he’s not Ray Warren.

Much like the commentary team providing an insulting guide to the 40/20, let me tell you something; Origin is sterile as buggery without Rabs.

Put simply, the big moments don’t hit the same without his luscious tones, the tension doesn’t lift the same without his throaty cadence, and the memes don’t surge the same without his innocent mispronunciation of Polynesian surnames- and the interstate arena is drearier for his departure.

Ray Warren is seriously missed around Origin time. (AAP Image/Joel Carrett)

Mat Thomson (left) has done a fine job since Warren's departure. Pic: Supplied

Since stepping down from the golden mic in 2022, Warren’s absence has not only abandoned us in a nostalgic funk, it’s also seen Nine’s production values slowly devolve to that of a pirate garage broadcast.

Not only have a new wave of screamers and growlers failed to backfill his gaping absence - all as unnaturally as Beau Ryan in a ten-gallon hat - the standards around the commentary team have stagnated to concerning depths.

Not only are Joey Johns and Cameron Smith cagier in each other’s company than a pair of divorcees, half the callers on the payroll are too busy moonlighting as Origin coaches to give any focus to their real jobs.

It’s a complete divergence from the sheer professionalism of Warren’s era, and other than poring over the greyhound guide, never in the golden days of his velvety intonations would you see such a dereliction of duty.

But while the legendary commentator is unconditionally missed by all in the league community, disgusting Blues failures like last night always see us New South Welshmen celebrating and mourning the great man’s retirement in equal parts.

Queensland legend Cameron Smith coaches the Maroons team at halftime of Origin I in Adelaide.

Why?

Because the iconic moment of Lindsay Collins out-leaping James Tedesco could’ve been a million times more harrowing and unshakeable had it been accompanied by Rabs eloquently blowing a valve.

When you think of The Miracle Try, the Gorden Tallis rag-dolling of Brett Hodgson, and the breathtaking length of the field sprint of Wati Holmwood, Origin moments embed themselves in our memories like a tick when soundtracked with Warren.

On the other hand, they dissipate like a Snapchat when it’s anyone else.

As such, while we miss the great man with a heavy heart and a bleeding ear, at least all New South Welshmen should’ve forgotten about last night’s result by the time they’ve read this piece.

Originally published as Dane Eldridge: Origin ‘sterile as buggery’ without Ray Warren in commentary