‘There were some very dark days’: Bronson Xerri opens up on emotional NRL return after four-year drug ban

Bronson Xerri spent more than four years out of the NRL wondering if he’d get a second chance, but he’s back in first grade now with a crazy connection to where it all began.

Bronson Xerri made an emotional return to the NRL after serving a four-year ban for taking performance-enhancing drugs. Picture: Justin Lloyd.

There were plenty of crazy things to happen at Accor Stadium on Friday night, but perhaps the wildest was seeing two centres return from lengthy drug bans nearly five years to the day since Bronson Xerri made his NRL debut against Michael Jennings.

Touted as one of the game’s brightest stars when he debuted as a teenager at the Sharks, Xerri’s career came to a grinding halt when he returned a positive test to steroids in 2019.

He rode an emotional rollercoaster over the next four years but never gave up on his dream of one day returning to the NRL, which was made possible when the Bulldogs handed him a lifeline in 2023.

Xerri played a couple of pre-season matches and was forced to bide his time in reserve grade, but earned his shot at redemption on Friday night when he replaced Blake Wilson (illness).

He couldn’t have picked a more dramatic game to return in, with the emotions of the night and everything he’s been through over the past four years spilling over when his mum presented him his jersey and gave a rousing speech after the win.

Bronson Xerri reflected on an emotional return to the NRL. Picture: Cameron Spencer/Getty Images

“It’s emotional thinking about it,” he said.

“As much as I put myself in that position, I’ve grown so much as a person. I’ve got my close friends and family around me that have helped me over those four years.

“I want to be that person who can help someone that’s going through adversity or that has mental health issues. I’m always a phone call or a conversation away for anyone at the club.

“There were some very dark days, so I needed them (my family). My mum was my rock for the four years. To hear her say a speech after the game was very emotional. She’s the only one who has seen me through the actual dark days.

“She told the club how hard those four years were for me and the family. She’s so proud of me and how resilient I am. I think any 19-year-old who went through what I went through probably wouldn’t come back from that, so I’m proud of myself.

“I could have put my head down and not had that dream again, but here I am and I’m coming back for more.”

The magnitude of it all didn’t sink in until Xerri arrived at a sodden Accor Stadium, with the centre only finding out that he was definitely playing a few hours earlier.

Xerri impressed in the trials but had to spend a few weeks in NSW Cup before he was given his shot in the NRL. Picture: NRL Photos

“It was a rollercoaster because I knew ‘Wilso’ was 50-50 so I was just sitting on it,” he said.

“I was trying to mentally prepare as best as I could, but when he told me the news, I was like ‘wow’. I straight away called my mum and my dad and everyone trying to sort out tickets. I had to go back to my room to take a breath and focus on the game.

“This was way more important and way more special than my actual debut. What I’ve been through over the four years and to come back definitely makes it more special.

“It doubled that feeling (of the trial return). I ran out there, took a deep breath and I was extremely grateful. I kind of soaked it all in and said ‘I’m back, this is where I belong’.”

The NRL is a lot different to what it was when he made his debut, but there was one eerie similarity with Michael Jennings also making his NRL return after serving a drug ban stemming from a positive test in 2020.

The pair haven’t crossed paths during their bans, but incredibly Xerri made his NRL debut against Jennings almost five years to the day before they faced off at Accor.

Xerri is a very different person to the teenager who debuted for Cronulla. Picture: AAP Image/Craig Golding

“It’s crazy how it all works out,” Xerri said, likely to retain his spot with several teammates going down injured.

“We all make mistakes in life, and it’s crazy how resilient we are and how we can come back from it. Massive respect to Jennings. To keep that motivation, massive respect.

“I just trusted the process and I trusted Ciro (Cameron Ciraldo). I respected his decision, and I just had to do it tough and grind away in reserve grade to earn my opportunity.

“I’ve been out for four years so I didn’t expect to be in the starting side. I wanted to earn that spot, and hopefully I showed Ciro that I’m capable of keeping that spot, and hopefully he picks me for next week.

“The game has changed so I think I have to be a different player. Speed-wise I’m the same. I think tonight was my fifth or sixth game back in four years.

“Ciro has told me I’m only going to get better from here, and I’m going to trust him and go back to training to work on my game. I’m proud of myself.”

Originally published as ‘There were some very dark days’: Bronson Xerri opens up on emotional NRL return after four-year drug ban