‘Mass sackings’ needed to save NSW Blues after Game I disaster

The NSW Blues are reeling after losing their home opener - now Michael Maguire must make mass sackings to save the series.

The Blues must make major changes for Game II.

COMMENT
It’s not often Blues fans walk away from an Origin match content with their side’s effort, let alone after a 38-10 shellacking.

But following their gallant endeavour on Wednesday night to play 72 minutes with 12 men after a 15 minute trek from a Centre of Excellence 13 suburbs away, this Blues side deserves our utmost respect.

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And that’s why we will reward them with more mass sackings than a Telstra restructure.

Yep, everyone knows NSW could three-peat over the Harlem Globetrotters and we’d still be demanding changes and burning effigies, and this time will be no different.

But never fear, picking our side for the must-win game two will not be a slash-and-burn, take-no-prisoners witch-hunt.

We will carefully consider every player’s performance from Wednesday night with prudent rationality, then toss it all out and blame everything on the halfback.

Then send half his mates with him.

Even though he worked his backside off, Nicho Hynes’ position is untenable not only for football reasons, but also under the terms of the state constitution.

Nicho Hynes struggled to make an impact. (Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)

Despite a heroic effort from his forwards, the playmaker struggled against the Queensland defence like a sewer technician trying to break down a fatberg with a water pistol.

In fact, his sideways running style served as much pigeon feed to the Maroons as his errant kicking game, a sentiment highlighted by Andrew Voss.

“Someone needs to test Nicho Hynes’ leg strength because I have never seen such a timid and unthreatening kicking game.

“It was bizarre.”

As we know, it’s etched in state scripture that we do not take lightly to our halfback playing such distinct Mitchell Pearce undertones.

And to be fair to Hynes, his time in the Sky Blue jersey had come to an abrupt end well before kick-off anyway.

Ever since Mitchell Moses returned from injury to carve up Hynes’ feeble Cronulla teammates last Friday night, our halfback envy was so overwhelming that it was only a matter of time before the Eel was recalled to carry our insurmountable expectations.

Mitchell Moses is back from injury and already in good form. (Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)

Moses’ direct running and lazer kicking game is essential to dominate field position, so sadly Hynes must go — but the bloodletting doesn’t end there.

Following the events of Wednesday night, everyone agrees that after seven minutes of testing, we have more than enough data to bin the Joseph Sua’ali’i project.

In fact, despite the ignominy of setting the briefest debut in history and our need to dip in to rugby’s stocks, let’s consider it a win for both parties.

We scratched an itch, and he got a taste of playing for the Waratahs by spending 72 minutes without touching a ball, so it’s a neat conclusion for all involved.

The Rooster is set to miss 4-5 matches for his high tackle on Reece Walsh anyway, a Clayton’s call which will go no way to satisfying the state’s bloodlust.

But either way, up the O2 inside the hyperbaric chamber for Kotoni Staggs and Bradman Best and pray to god one of them is cherry ripe for Melbourne, because we’re gonna need ‘em.

James Tedesco had a solid game against the Maroons. (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)

As for James Tedesco?

His selection was never going to be a risk, and who can say it wasn’t a success considering how much it annoyed Queensland, and even more, the Roosters.

But he can make way for Dylan Edwards - if his quad isn’t cactus - if only to overhaul the collective morale and because we must respect the sanctity of first dibs.

Michael Maguire will need to revisit his strategy with the forward pack too.

Sure, picking a squad akin to an unsophisticated fist was always going to bludgeon the Maroons up the guts and provide prime field position.

But by trading in potency for protein, asking them to capitalise on the scoreboard was like one of Geoffrey Edelstein’s new wives expecting anything on their wedding night other than snoring.

Jake Trbojevic barely got any minutes. Photo: NRL Photos / Brett Costello

This side needs points, meaning workhorses like Cam McInnes and Jake Trbojevic must make way for players who can tease defensive lines, and in Jake’s case, produce more minutes than an episode of Two and a Half Men.

Although half-baked following an injury lay-off, rush back Cam Murray for some rapid ruck speed and add Junior Paulo for his delightful surgeon hands.

And for god’s sake, get Matt Burton in there as a Swiss Army knife so we can neutralise the paranoia of a rejigged backline that looks like a formatting error in Excel.

- Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.

Originally published as ‘Mass sackings’ needed to save NSW Blues after Game I disaster