Sydney FC captain Natalie Tobin opens up about the mental toll of her ACL rupture in Round 1 of the A-Leagues

Natalie Tobin has had injuries before but none that threw her into as dark a place as her ACL rupture has, as she continues her journey back to the playing field.

MOSMAN DAILY/AAP. Sydney FC W-League player Natalie Tobin (Berowra) poses during a photo shoot at Macquarie Park on Friday, 8 November, 2019. (AAP IMAGE / Troy Snook)

Injuries are part of an elite athlete’s life but Sydney FC captain Natalie Tobin was not prepared for the dark hole she fell into after rupturing her ACL.

Tobin, 27, tore her ACL early in the second half of the match in round 1 in the A-League women’s competition.

Since then another four players have suffered the same injury.

Tobin didn’t realise she had done her ACL until the following morning.

“I didn’t know straight away, I initially thought I just dislocated my knee,” Tobin said. “I’ve never done an ACL before.

“When I came off, the doctors said potential meniscus because I was testing quite well on the ACL test.

“My brother had done his meniscus before so I thought that would be a good outcome.

“But I knew the next day that it was going to be an ACL because it was just all swollen and sore and unstable.”

Sydney FC head coach Ante Juric consoles Natalie Tobin as she is stretchered from the field. (Photo by Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images)

Tobin said hearing the doctor confirm her suspicions was “awful”.

“I just felt very low,” she said. “I was feeling really fit and really good within myself, so to have that all taken away was quite devastating.”

The movement Tobin did on the pitch in the moments before she went to the ground and had to be stretchered off was something she had done hundreds of times before in her 101 A-League games.

She couldn’t help but wonder if something she had done had led to the ACL tear.

“I had a fat pad impingement in my knee from the previous season so I’d had a cortisone injection,” Tobin said.

“My knee was already quite sore but it was feeling good during pre-season so I wondered if that contributed.

“I had also been overseas on holidays to Europe and when I came back my period got out of sync from my normal cycle with the time difference so it was all over the place. They say that can contribute.

“I also hadn’t been to the gym as much because I had been busy at work that week. So was it that?”

There is so little known about the nature of ACL ruptures, particularly why women are more susceptible to them, that even Tobin’s surgeon wasn’t sure of the cause.

“He told me not to spend too much time mulling over what it was that caused it because there are so many contributing factors,” Tobin said.

It is almost a month since the midfielder had her operation and she has started her rehab.

While the pain has finally subsided, Tobin said her mental health had taken a beating.

“I’m finding it really tough,” she said. “The (team) went away to Uzbekistan for almost two weeks. I didn’t go but I found it easier going in doing my rehab then because I wasn’t seeing other people playing.

“It made it a bit easier. Now they are back. The first session they came back I was in the gym and I was in a foul mood, it’s just so s**t.

“I don’t want to watch people being able to run around and here is me just in the gym constantly.

“I think people don’t really talk about how difficult it is, the mental side, not just the physical side of it.

“To just have everything ripped away from you in a split second, it’s just so cruel.”

Tobin os one of numerous female A-League players to suffer the injury this season. (Photo by Brett Hemmings/Getty Images)

Tobin should be able to rejoin the team for non-contact training before the end of the season.

“I can still be amongst it but it’s just tough when everyone leaves you to go and train and you are in the gym on your own,” she said.

Tobin, who also juggles a career as an occupational therapist, said she would love to see more funding and investment into research behind the cause and preventive measures of ACL ruptures, particularly in women.

“It we can have some more research to just even prevent 50 per cent of the injuries, that would be good,” she said.

“I think it has always been an issue in women’s sport … but there is a prevalence of it at the moment.

“Look at how many players missed out on the Women’s World Cup this year because of ACL injuries. It was incredible. The numbers were just wild.”

Originally published as Sydney FC captain Natalie Tobin opens up about the mental toll of her ACL rupture in Round 1 of the A-Leagues