If your club was in the dictionary, what would the word mean?

WE NOW know what Richmondy means, but how do you define a typical Collingwoody performance? And what makes Port Adelaide Porty? Our definitions for all 18 clubs.

North Melbourne throws away another lead.

WE KNOW what Richmondy means, but the Tigers aren’t the only club that can produce a result with their own unique character.

Comedian Wil Anderson has coined the word Richmondy to describe exactly what happened at the MCG last Sunday, when the Tigers snatched defeat from the jaws of victory — and their fans’ hearts from their black and yellow-emblazoned chests.

But what does a Collingwoody performance look like? What does Carlton do so predictably that we can call it Carltony? And what makes Port Adelaide Porty?

Here are out definitions for the full 18-club footy dictionary.

Did we get it right? Leave your definitions in the comments section below

ADELAIDE

At least until the past two weeks, the most Adelaidey thing to see on the footy field was the ball sweeping from one end of the field to the other in the blink of an eye, ending with Josh Jenkins who is somehow 30m on his own and can stroll into the goalsquare to boot the ball into the third tier.

BRISBANE LIONS

Bears and Fitzroy supporters should be used to being on the bottom of the ladder. Unlikely to see three premierships in a row ever again. So Brisbaney.

CARLTON

It doesn’t have anything to do with footy, but the ATO scandal has a bit of Carltonyness about it — masses of money, playing by their own rules then getting caught — and staying arrogant anyway.

Spending big bucks on free agent Dale Thomas was a very Carltony thing to do. Picture: George Salpigtidis

COLLINGWOOD

Collingwoodyness has a long and rich history — it once simply meant losing Grand Finals. This season it describes building expectations with, say, a high-priced recruit or lavish club anniversary function, only to fall flat on the field when it matters.

ESSENDON

It’s hard to remember what old-fashioned Essendonyness was like. Now it’s come to be associated with drama that engulfs the club. Just when you think it’s finally over, it’s so Essendony to wake up to see it back on the front page.

FREMANTLE

To be Fremantley is to be completely OK with finishing bottom four as long as the Dockers beat West Coast in the Derby.

GEELONG

Get on the rollercoaster — there’s no in-between when you barrack for the Cats. You win big or lose big. After being arguably the best team in the comp for the first five rounds, losing the next three was so Geelongy.

GOLD COAST

The term Gold Coasty doesn’t really need an explanation. The razzle dazzle of Surfers Paradise looks great on paper but doesn’t live up to expectations.

GWS GIANTS

A typical Gianty act is to poach another team’s captain then allow him to become a fringe player because you have so much freaking talent.

HAWTHORN
Hawthorny, in the old world, was being down by six goals at three-quarter time and knowing you’re going to win. The Hawks always smashed the teams they were meant to smash, then beat everyone else anyway. These days, Hawthorny means turning it over a lot, having star recruits who are late outs every wecond week and generally just being happy to be in games after halftime.

MELBOURNE

To be Melbourney in 2017 is to win when you’re the underdog, garner media praise and attention, then drop your bundle as soon as you are burdened with any kind of expectation.

Oh Norf.

NORTH MELBOURNE

Like Richmondy, the Roos have their own word on social media: #norf. You will usually see a few mentions when the Kangas establish a handy lead — then it starts trending when they somehow lose from there.

Again. Again. Seriously? You wouldn't read about it. #Norf #AFLFreoNorth

— Tim Rosen (@timrosen35) April 22, 2017

PORT ADELAIDE

To have a chairman who starts battles that he then loses.

RICHMONDY

The ability to raise the hopes of your devout supporters then rip their hearts out in cruel and creative style. Then do it all over again.

ST KILDA

Just when things are looking up on the field, someone does something stupid. Managing to turn last week’s third straight win into three days of headlines about awful sledging was so St Kilda-ey.

SYDNEY

Ask an old South Melbourne fan and Swansyness is a trait of blue-collar toilers who are happy to fly under the radar. It’s a bit different in Sydney, where the Bondi billionaires make Sydneyness a lot more glamorous.

WEST COAST

West Coasty: To lose at the MCG.

WESTERN BULLDOGS

It’s surprising how quickly after a premiership Dogs fans have settled back into their long-established Bulldoggy pessimism. Although at least choking in finals has been wiped from the definition.

Originally published as If your club was in the dictionary, what would the word mean?