Chris Fagan opens up: Brisbane coach speaks for first time on the impact of the Hawthorn racism scandal

Chris Fagan was left stunned by racism allegations made about his time at Hawthorn. That shock quickly turned to fear, hurt and bewilderment. He tells his story for the first time.

Chris Fagan would wait until dark to go for his walk.

It was the hurt. The uncertainty. The shock of it all tied into a knot in his stomach.

Three days after the Brisbane Lions were bounced out of the 2022 preliminary final by Geelong, the club’s senior coach was left stunned by allegations made about his and Alastair Clarkson’s time at Hawthorn.

The Hawks’ premiership heroes rang him, one after the other. His wife and daughters wanted to talk. Fagan’s 85-year-old mother in Tasmania was confused.

While Fagan has categorically denied any wrongdoing as part of a year-long fight to clear his name, those first few weeks in October last year were so upsetting Fagan barely left his Brisbane home.

The Lions’ senior coach had taken a leave of absence from the club, and watched his players celebrate the year at the best-and-fairest night in his tracksuit pants from his house.

And when he needed to go for his usual daily stroll to deal with some of the considerable stress, Fagan, 62, would wait until nightfall, unsure how others may react to the allegations and headlines.

Brisbane Lions coach Chris Fagan has spoken for the first time on the impact on him and his family. Picture: Jason Edwards

“I went through a period where I was just at home and I wouldn’t really venture out in daylight hours,” Fagan told this masthead.

“I love my exercise and my walks, but, yeah, I would wait until it got dark every night to go for a walk then instead.

“People don’t know the truth, and people can take sides and I thought if I put myself out here what’s it going to be like? Are people going to come up and abuse me?

“After a couple of weeks I realised I couldn’t keep living like that.

“So I got back to normal and discovered that I didn’t think I had a person say a bad word about me.”

The allegations were serious. First Nations players and their families said they were deeply hurt by the treatment they received at Hawthorn during 2008-16.

Fagan, Clarkson and the club’s former welfare officer Jason Burt were all named in a bombshell ABC website report.

All have strenuously denied the allegations and were cleared by an AFL investigation which was wound up in May this year.

But the spectre of a Human Rights Commission hearing remains.

Nine months on, Fagan fought back tears as he talked for the first time about the impact on him and his family in an interview in the foyer of the Pullman Hotel across from the MCG, on the Lions’ trip to beat Collingwood in round 23.

In one of the season’s most compelling storylines, the Lions have brushed off the disruption and uncertainty of the Hawthorn report – which was run by former player Phil Egan – to enter September as second favourite for the flag.

It has been immensely challenging.

Fagan, right, with Alastair Clarkson at Hawthorn in 2015. Picture: Adam Trafford/AFL Media

Fagan opened up about the meetings he called with Brisbane’s Indigenous players in the immediate aftermath of the allegations that were leaked in grand final week last year, knowing full well the impact it could have on them.

But Fagan’s Lions remained united.

How has the senior coach felt over the past year?

“Hurt, frustrated, bewildered,” he said.

“I also feel sad for everyone involved to be honest. All sides. No winners.

“And I tried to remember back to those times and it was just shock. I was stunned.

“My wife (Ursula) was the same. It was really upsetting for her. We have been married for a long time – 37 years.

“Married in 1985. We went to university together. She knows me. She (read it) and I remember, she looked at me and said, ‘Nah, nah. That’s not you’.

“But the biggest thing which has helped me is I have got a clear conscience.

“So that enables you to get up every day and keep going to work with the people you love and doing what you do.

“I can sleep. I don’t lie awake at night. Probably other than the first few days when I couldn’t get over it.”

Fagan thought of the ripple effect. On his family and his players. His wife’s blood pressure became an issue, and required treatment, while Fagan’s first thoughts went to his Indigenous players.

Ursula said they relied on each other in that time after the report dropped, but said Fagan never thought about giving coaching away.

“You were just so confused, and numb,” Ursula Fagan said.

“It does stop you in your tracks, so you have 24-48 hours to just digest and try to understand something that is so confusing.”

Ursula said she had “more respect than ever” for the way her husband had handled the past year.

“Chris has an ongoing belief in people and goodness, and he’s enormously trusting,“ Ursula said. “He is very, very giving in his general spirit and his character.

“I get so inspired by that. I think that is what life is all about – getting out there and giving it a go.”

Fagan and wife Ursula. Picture: Steve Pohlner

Fagan has been on a journey with the Lions since he joined them on the back of a disastrous 2016 season, lifting them from basket case in 2017 to genuine premiership contender over seven years.

But the report was out of the blue.

Immediately, Fagan spoke with the Lions’ Indigenous liaison officer Anthony Corrie about the importance of opening up to his Indigenous players.

What did they think? How could it impact them?

He told them as much as he knew from the time in question.

“I did have that moment. It was right at the end of the season so we lost the preliminary final and then they (players) all disappeared on their (post-season) breaks,” he said.

“So I spoke to the group – our Indigenous players – when it happened.

“And then I had a couple of zoom meetings over the break with them because I wanted to keep them in the picture.

“It was a really high priority.

“They were confused at the start, for sure. Everyone was. Very confused.

“They talked to me about how they felt about it all. I get that. We have full trust.

“And Anthony Corrie, our Indigenous liaison officer at the club, has been absolutely magnificent as well.

“I don’t feel like my relationship with any of those boys has suffered at all this year and in fact it feels like it has been stronger than ever.”

Fagan shares a special relationship with star forward Charlie Cameron. Picture: Michael Klein

Brisbane figures said Fagan shared a special relationship, in particular, with speedy goal kicker Charlie Cameron, who has blossomed to become one of the top small forwards in the game.

Fagan said Cameron was often the life of the group, providing a special energy and buzz for the rest of his teammates, either at training or on the team bus.

Fagan always sits up the front, Cameron often down the back.

“Yesterday my phone rings on the bus and it is Charlie and he says, ‘Fages, it is cold back here, mate, can you ask the driver to turn the air conditioner, down?’” Fagan said.

“He’s always joking around. He’s a fast talker. He’s a beauty, Charlie, and he wants to have fun and enjoy life.

“It is great he can feel like he can be himself around me and I think that is a really important part of coaching.

“The players can be who they are. I don’t try to turn them from what they are. I don’t think you can fundamentally.

“You work with the personalities there and help them become the best versions of themselves. You don’t want a bunch of robots.

“That is the beauty of coaching. Having different personalities and harnessing it all together to become a team.”

Through it all, Fagan has deeply appreciated the love and support of his family and football club.

Even when the pressure rose, the Lions backed him. That’s chief executive Greg Swann, football manager Danny Daly, and director Leigh Matthews, to name a few.

Fagan worried about the impact on his family, including his wife and mum in Tasmania. His daughters saw all the headlines.

Can the Lions go all the way? Picture: Dylan Burns/AFL Photos

“My wife, Ursula, has been unbelievable. I have been worried about her,” he said.

“I don’t know whether this is coincidence or not, but she got a lot of flus and things in the three or four months after it all started, and suddenly she’s on blood pressure tablets.

“I don’t know if that is coincidence or just us getting older.

“Mum is in Tassie and the only connection mum has got with the world about what is going on other than when I talk to her is the media, and she’s ringing me worried as anything about things.”

At the club, Fagan said he didn’t want the stories to become an elephant in the room. It is why the air had to be cleared, so the team could press on with its premiership aspirations.

On Saturday night, the Lions will take on Port Adelaide at the Gabba for a preliminary final berth. It is the fifth season in a row his team has posted at least 14 wins.

And the support was there from the get-go late last year when Fagan had to take his leave of absence in September-October.

That five-week period was when Fagan did some of his most important work helping set up the season, tinkering with the side, the game plan, the structure of things in the football department.

“The club has been magnificent. I told everybody I don’t want this to rule the world this year,” he said.

“I knew there would be a lot of ongoing publicity around it, but I said the best thing you guys can do for me is just get on with things and if I need to talk to you about stuff I will, but otherwise leave it with me.

“And everyone has respected that. Early days, everyone was checking in on me and it was a beautiful thing.

“But I said, ‘You can’t keep doing this. I tell you what, I’ll keep you informed and if I’m going no good, I’ll seek help’.

“The critical things are I have got a clear conscience and I have had great support around me which is something I am really grateful for.”

Originally published as Chris Fagan opens up: Brisbane coach speaks for first time on the impact of the Hawthorn racism scandal