Young singles are turning away from dating apps in their search for love

Hobbies like running, drawing, and role-playing games are helping young people find love, and allowing them to kiss goodbye dating apps for good.

Run club couple Leighton Scott, 24, and Jasmine Avery, 22. Picture, John Gass

Young singles are turning away from dating apps and venturing back into the real world to find true love.

Romance-starved Gen Zs, who’ve grown up with phones and tablets in hand, are now joining clubs and hobby groups as a way of finding a partner after being left disappointed by romantic liaisons organised online.

Leighton Scott, 24, and Jasmine Avery, 22, met at SoSo’s run club, which meets in Brisbane twice a week, in May 2024.

Mr Scott says he didn’t join the club specifically hoping to meet a partner but that when Ms Avery introduced herself, they immediately hit it off.

A week after their first date, the pair ran a half marathon together, kick starting what Mr Scott called the best nine months of his life.

He said meeting through running felt “a lot more natural” than meeting online and Ms Avery agreed.

 “I think it’s easier to meet someone at a run club because you’re seeing them in person, you can hang out, and you have something in common,” Ms Avery said.

Sydney psychotherapist and couple councillor, Melissa Ferrari. Picture: David Swift

Relationship therapist Melissa Ferrari says she’s all for the anti-app movement.

“I think the youngest generation is getting wiser and starting to want to meet people in person or through things they have in common,” she said.

“We’re attracted to like-minded and familiar people, so a joint interest is a great start.”

Jasper Islinger, 22, met a past partner through a life drawing class.

Having gone to the class a few times, Mr Islinger was then asked to pose for a group of artists and after the class, an “absolute cutie” approached him asking for his details.

“Naturally, I was extremely chuffed with myself, and we planned a date and had a lovely little time,” Mr Islinger said.

While they’re no longer together, he said the experience proved “meeting someone in real life is better on so many levels”.

“It’s pretty nerve wracking approaching someone in person, but I find the connections that you make are of much higher quality because they are usually interested in at least something you are also interested in.”

Ms Ferrari said the key to putting yourself out there in person, is “positive self-talk before you go”.

“Another good way to do it is to meet with a friend who you know thinks you’re great beforehand so you can feel good about yourself before you go… or even take your friend with you.

“Making sure you do things you find really grounding - things that make you feel good - will serve you well no matter what kind of dating you’re doing.”

Fraser Creighton and Paris Hall, a couple who met through playing Dungeons and Dragons online. Picture: Lyndon Mechielsen/Courier Mail

Despite living on opposite sides of the world, Fraser Creighton, 24, and Paris Hall, 31, were brought together by their mutual love for Dungeons and Dragons (a fantasy tabletop role-playing game).

Ms Hall, from the United States, and Mr Creighton, born and raised in Brisbane, began chatting through a Discord server for D’n’D players around the world in 2019.

Just friends at first, the pair made their relationship official in 2020 and, after two years of texts and video calls, flew to England to finally meet face-to-face.

One year after that “fairytale” trip, Ms Hall was on a one-way flight to Brisbane.

Almost a year-and-a-half into living together, they still love how playing D’n’D helps them learn more about each other and their friends.

“It’s a great way to get to know people because, even though it’s acting and you’re pretending to be someone else, it’s a very honest situation,” Mr Creighton said.

“If someone chooses a character who is nurturing and caring, that means that’s the kind of person they are.. Similarly, if you see someone who plays a chaotic character who does the zany fun thing, that tells you that this person is looking for an outlet.”

Ms Hall said the game is “all about the spirit of adventure and it branches out into so many other interests”.

“It’s such a big overarching concept into other things like reading and video games and art and storytelling,” she said.

“When you cover that much stuff, you naturally find things you can connect through.”

Both Ms Hall and Mr Creighton tried dating apps while at university but said they had “awful” experiences.

“We met online, but it was so different,” Ms Hall said.

“The apps are inorganic and can be incredibly disheartening.”

“If there’s too many people on the apps, there has to be some element of automation and that really strips the humanity out of it,” Mr Creighton said.

“Be human with your fellow humans,” Ms Hall said.

“Be human to yourself,” Mr Creighton said.

Ms Ferrari also highlighted the humanity people seem to be missing.

“People are on dating apps and they’re missing when the cute barista making their coffee actually gives them a wink or a smile,” she said.

“Lifting our eyes from the phone a little bit more means you may actually notice when people are attracted to you.”

She said she thinks people will continue to move away from apps as “they seem to be becoming less and less real”.

“There’s a dating fatigue that comes with that after a while,” she said.

“People are turning back to the old fashioned way, and I think it’s for the best.”

Originally published as Young singles are turning away from dating apps in their search for love