The difficult but necessary conversation parents must have

In the wake of horrific childcare sex abuse allegations, a leading child psychologist has given parents tips on how to talk to children about body autonomy and safety.

Parents facing devastating conversations with their children in the wake of sickening childcare sex abuse allegations should be upfront with their kids no matter how young they are, a leading child psychologist says.

Director of ACU’s Institute of Child Protection Studies Professor Daryl Higgins said while some parents may believe ignorance is bliss, he discouraged withholding the truth.

“I think it’s a fine line, because we also need to make sure that we don’t provide too much information and detail that’s going to cause unnecessary fear,” Professor Higgins said.

“It’s important to explain that sometimes grown ups do bad things and hurt people, because if we engender complete trust in adults and say that adults will always look after you, unfortunately, we set our kids up for failure.”

Professor Higgins has been researching child abuse impacts and prevention, family violence and family functioning for nearly 30 years and urged parents struggling to navigate the discussions with their children to avoid sensationalising conversations.

The advice comes after former childcare worker Joshua Brown, 26, was charged on Tuesday with more than 70 offences related to the alleged sexual abuse of eight victims aged under two years old.

Professor Daryl Higgins said while some parents may believe ignorance is bliss, he discouraged withholding the truth. Picture: Supplied

Authorities have urged more than 1200 families to undergo precautionary testing for sexually transmitted infections, after it was revealed Mr Brown worked at 20 childcare centres across Melbourne between January 2017 and May 2025.

Professor Higgins advised the hundreds of families instructed to have their children tested to use the same kind of language they use for vaccinations.

“It’s about using simple language to describe that the nurse or doctor is doing this to keep us well and that it’s an important part of health care,” he said.

“Hopefully parents have already practised explaining things like vaccinations to their children to prepare them and the same needs to happen here.

“Don’t sensationalise it or treat it as something totally out of the ordinary, but rather as part of ensuring they are safe and well.”

Professor Higgins strongly encouraged impacted parents and carers to seek support before entering conversations with their children.

“It’s about preparing yourself, being calm, grounded and seeking support for yourself if you need to before you even start the conversation,” he said.

“If parents are anxious, embarrassed, confused, they will convey that to their children and this is a time when they need to not be engendering fear and concern in children, but reassuring them.”

Alleged sex abuser Joshua Brown. Picture Supplied.,

Professor Higgins said a key step in child sexual abuse prevention was ensuring children understood body autonomy.

“Children should be empowered to know that their bodies are their own and that private parts are private and no one should be touching them except for health or hygiene reasons,” Professor Higgins said.

“When talking about early childhood educators, it’s about ensuring they are obtaining consent from children before engaging in things like nappy changes.

“It doesn’t have to be, ‘do you want your nappy changed or not?’, it can be, ‘would you like it to be me or would you like it to be someone else’, or ‘would you like to do it before or after you finish this drawing?’”

Another critical step in prevention is using the “correct” language for body parts around children, says Professor Higgins.

“Children need to have the correct names for body parts that are often traded for euphemisms due to the embarrassment that many parents have about talking about sex, sexuality, and how the body works,” he said.

“They must know which parts of their body are labelled with what names, so they can describe experiences accurately if they need to.”

For further information, Professor Higgins recommended visiting the National Office for Child Safety at childsafety.gov.au and the Raising Children Network at raisingchildren.net.au.

Originally published as The difficult but necessary conversation parents must have