Roz Hervey’s brave words recorded shortly before her death shared at The Advertiser Sunday Mail SkyCity’s Woman of the Year awards

With her time on earth fleeting, a beloved Adelaide arts identity mustered up the strength to deliver one last message. Watch the video here.

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The brave words of a beloved Adelaide arts identity recorded shortly before her death have been shared publicly for the first time, reducing guests to tears at a gala awards dinner.

Four months ago esteemed dancer, choreographer, director and producer Roz Hervey – mum of Hollywood star Tilda Cobham-Hervey – used the state’s assisted dying laws to end her life before motor neurone disease could completely rob her of her “dignity”.

The brave last words of Roz Hervey have been shared publicly.

On Thursday she was honoured at The Advertiser Sunday Mail SkyCity’s Woman of the Year awards, her extraordinary legacy recognised as the state’s most outstanding “Creative Arts Trailblazer”.

Her family chose the occasion to play for the first time a heart-wrenching video the local theatre legend had recorded just hours before she died, advocating for greater awareness around – and access to – voluntary assisted dying.

In it, the 58-year-old looks poised and stylish and speaks with quiet grace and eloquence, determined to have her message heard.

Hervey was diagnosed with MND in 2022 and explained her decision to use the state’s voluntary assisted dying laws in a heartfelt letter saying she wanted to “leave the party while it is still going”, ending her life on November 8 last year.

Roz Hervey with her children Tild and Huey Cobham-Hervey and her husband Geoff Cobham. Picture: Supplied by family

The family enjoying and creating memories. Picture: Supplied by family

“I would really encourage people to talk about this more, allow doctors to talk to patients about it, allow the media to talk about it, so that everyone is aware of their right to dignity,” she says in the newly-released video.

“I know it is a difficult subject, I know it is hard … I would like to give people the opportunity to choose the time when they are ready.

“Why would you let people in pain live the rest of their life if they don’t want to be here?

“This disease is a real sh*t of a disease and my dignity is disappearing … I get to choose my beautiful surroundings, (to have) the people who I love around me … (to die) in a calm, beautiful and graceful way.”

The video played before husband Geoff “Coby” Cobham, who attended the prestigious event alongside his 30-year-old movie star daughter, who splits her time between LA and Adelaide, and son Huey, 20, as well as Roz’s proud parents Pam and Gordon, accepted the award on behalf of his late wife.

“Roz would be so cross with me, she was the most graceful, sophisticated person and would know exactly what to say,” he said as he was overcome with emotion on stage.

Yesterday he told of his heartache at losing the woman he had loved for 39 years and the hole her loss had left in his family’s hearts, as well as the art world more broadly.

Roz Hervey, Tilda, Huey Cobham-Hervey Geoff Cobham pose for a picture on the red carpet at GU Film House in Adelaide, for the opening night of the Adelaide Film Festival. Picture: MATT LOXTON

Hervey was diagnosed with MND in 2022 and explained her decision to use the state’s voluntary assisted dying laws in a video. Picture: Supplied by family

“Everyone tells you grief comes in waves … it is very hard to deal with the grief but Roz’s message to us all was to ‘seize the day’,” the Patch Theatre director said.

“She died four hours after that video was made and it was a very beautiful death … it was just the three of us – me, Tilly and Huey.

“Her last words were, ‘I am really, really ready. I am so lucky.’

“It was a very natural and beautiful thing to be a part of for all of us and it was such a relief for her that she had control which was so important to her … MND it takes away your control.”

He says her loss is immeasurable.

“We spent our entire life talking about art and so now, whenever I have an artistic experience or a creative moment, I just want to turn to her and talk about it,” he says.

“I even recently dialled her phone number … it is just instinct to just come out of a show and go, ‘oh, I just saw this amazing thing …’.

“Not being able to share that with her is hard … you know, we had 39 years of amazing love together.

“We are so grateful for our life in the arts … the outpouring of love we’ve experienced over the last three months has been incredible.

“We had a celebration for her in which 450 people came and which was like an amazing theatre where we celebrated the joy of her life … it was extraordinary to see how many people she’s connected with over the years and how many lives she’s had an effect on.

“That is something that makes it possible to deal with the grief and being able to share how much we all loved her and how rich our lives were because of her.”

Cobham says, for him, it was love at first sight.

Women of the Year Awards Winner Creative Arts Trailblazer - Roz Hervey on video she made before she died.

“She was 18 or 19 and I was 23 and I went to a rehearsal … we were both working in the avant-garde dance world of Sydney and she climbed in a window smoking a cigarette in the most ridiculous sort of weird lingerie – it was just like a lightning bolt,” he said.

“It was an amazing experience to connect with someone so instantly.”

He says Hervey ensured she made the most of her life in the two years that followed the dreadful diagnosis.

“We have no bucket list,” he said, adding she even managed to win her first game of Scopa, an Italian game the family regularly plays, just before she died.

“Roz lost every time except her last day with us … she was pretty excited and we weren’t even letting her win.

“We spent two years where we lived a lifetime of experiences, we went all over the world … everyday we did something extraordinary; it was such a delight to be in Tokyo and just be exploring every day … it was incredible but the days were always jam-packed as Roz was always the organiser.

“It was the most wonderful two years, even thought she was suffering … I think going overseas was fantastic because it felt she didn’t have a disease when we were away from all of the medical-type things.”

He says the family learnt not to “sweat the small stuff”, something he now tries to share with others.

“It was such a joy to travel with her but we’ve also loved just doing the simple things together as a family … we just stopped worrying about all of the ridiculous little things like towels left on the bathroom floor and had much fun together … there’s been so much more humour and joy.”

He says it is a comfort to have his daughter close by while she works on a project in South Australia.

Women of the Year Awards Winner Creative Arts Trailblazer - Roz Hervey honoured. Picture: Brett Hartwig

Cobham-Hervey, who shared a close bond with her mum, says her family is learning to live without its “nucleus”.

She is currently trawling through a series of interviews she did with her mum on her life.

When asked what she misses most, she says “that’s too hard to answer”.

“It’s everything, really; it’s calling her five times a day, getting her advice and laughing uncontrollably about everything … we were very, very close – I lost a best friend.

“I think grief is such an unusual thing … it does hit you at the weirdest times and it will always be there and it is still very hard to believe.

“I think she was such a ‘present’ person and she filled up every room and she was so alive until she wasn’t, so it is a shock … it is overwhelming as she was the real nucleus of our family, so we’re still learning to figure out what it is to do life without her.

“She was such an extraordinary force, I think anyone that you talk to that she’d come in contact with would say the same, she had extraordinary energy and was so organised and capable and creative ... she just inspired so many.

“But she made it very clear to us all that it’s so important to ‘seize the day’ and I think that we’re all really trying to honour her in the way we move forward now … she is still very much with us; whenever we’re unsure what to do, we go, ‘what would Roz do?’.”

Roz with her children and her husband. Picture: Supplied by family

And that is what she plans to do, to keep spreading the message on voluntary assisted dying.

“I feel so inspired by her, by her ability to talk about that, particularly on the day that she chose to talk about that in the video (before she died) … and that my main feeling is sort of awe and pride, that ‘that is my mother’.

“We all feel very lucky for her to have had that ending … I think it was an incredibly selfless thing that she did as well; with diseases like this, when you know what’s going to happen and it’s only pain and suffering to come … it’s not just for her but for us.”

The family say they are incredibly proud of Hervey’s latest recognition and only wish she could have accepted it in person.

For more than three decades, Hervey was at the forefront of arts here and interstate, including as the co-founder of Sydney’s contemporary Force Majeure dance company, director of the Adelaide Fringe parade and creative director of Adelaide’s Restless Dance Theatre, where she fought for actors living with disabilities to be recognised as professionals.

“(Roz’s) whole life was looking after other people, she was such a generous person; she chose to leave the stage because she wanted to be working as a producer so she could support others, she wanted to be the person to help people, and particularly young artists,” Cobham said.

Geoff Cobham accepts the award on behalf of Roz. 6th March 2025 Picture: Brett Hartwig

“She really just worked tirelessly in the background of lots of people’s lives, making it possible for them to do their art and express themselves … invariably, every show I go to I can see her influence on all of them because she worked with so many people … hundreds of actors who all of them are using the things that she taught them in their shows and in their art every day.

“Every day people write to me and talk to me about Roz and tell me amazing stories about her.”

Originally published as Roz Hervey’s brave words recorded shortly before her death shared at The Advertiser Sunday Mail SkyCity’s Woman of the Year awards