25 and dying: Annaliese Holland has a strong message for families to talk about death

Annaliese Holland, 25, wants people to talk about death. She is facing it and reckons knowing the wishes of all involved, from Spotify funeral playlists to organ donation — is just good sense.

Annaliese Holland is staring at death with a powerful smile. Aged 25, with a terminal disease, she is taking the positive path of urging even young people to have their health care wishes known through an Advance Care Directive.

Ms Holland has met death previously. She recalls the peaceful, privileged moment as her close friend Lily Thai, 23, slipped gently away, as one of the first people to have Voluntary Assisted Dying (VAD) in 2023, under the changes to legislation.

“I held her hand as they administered the euthanasia (drug),” she recalled.

“Not many people get the opportunity to have such deep conversations, right until the point where they close their eyes. It was so peaceful.

“Lily taught me not to be afraid. She was so at peace and it was a privilege to spend such quality time with each other.”

Annaliese Holland, 25, with mother Armanda Holland. Picture Brad Crouch

The ladies met, aged 23, in hospice care and instantly bonded.

Annaliese has a similar terminal auto immune disease as Lily and while she says initially she felt “embarrassed and ashamed” to be dying at such a young age, she now has come to terms with it and wants to publicly get people talking about death.

In an emotional speech to highlight the issue she related her own fight with the disease which has consumed half her life, how she is now is fed by a tube and how she faces yet major surgery next week at Flinders Medical Centre.

She contacted the Ageing Well Minister Nat Cook’s office after hearing the minister on radio talking about Advance Care Directives and is now taking an active role urging young people to talk openly about this.

“It’s about taking control,” she said, quipping she even has her own Spotify funeral list. “When I was young I was terrified of death. It’s been like walking on a mine field, never knowing when it will go off.”

A picture of Lily Thai form her funeral live stream

Lily Thai in June 2017.

Minister Cook and Health Minister Chris Picton praised Ms Holland’s activism and urged the public to look into the free Advance Care Directives so that loved ones know a person’s wishes — when death calls either with notice, or suddenly.

“The problem with death is that we don’t talk about it,” Ms Holland said.

Originally published as 25 and dying: Annaliese Holland has a strong message for families to talk about death