LGBTQIA+ community share their stories of living in Central Queensland

A number of Central Queenslanders in the LGBTQIA+ community have shared their stories of coming out, growing up and living in the region and their hopes for the future. Read their stories here.

After meeting at a queer night-life event in Rockhampton in 2015, Jasmine and Tyla Hewatt-BoydPratt are happily married with a young daughter and a second bub on the way.

Jasmine, who identifies as lesbian, said coming out wasn’t really that big of a deal for her.

She said her family was very accepting.

“Mum has gay friends, lesbian friends, drag queen friends and we grew up around that,” she said.

The Hewatt-BoydPratt family in Rockhampton. Picture: Aden Stokes

“When I brought a girl home it wasn’t this big scandal.

“I was really obsessed with (Princess) Leia when I was a child but I didn’t know what it was back then.

“I didn’t see it, then I saw it and then I saw it all the way in my past.

“I had my first girlfriend when I was 18.”

Tyla, who identifies as gay, said her experience was very different.

“Even though my mum was incredibly supportive and has been since I was five when she thought I was gay, there were a lot of people throughout my family that were quite backwards, or homophobic, so I grew up thinking it was something that was wrong,” she said.

“I repressed the hell out of it and didn’t come out until I was 22.

“It was terrifying.

“I wasn’t sure how people would react or treat me but mum was really supportive. She was the first person I told.”

Jasmine and Tyla, both fresh from their first “gay heartbreaks”, met at Rockhampton Clubrok at Flamingo’s On Quay in 2015.

The Hewatt-BoydPratt family in Rockhampton. Picture: Aden Stokes

Jasmine said she went to Clubrok looking for a one-night stand, met Tyla and six months later they had their first kiss.

“The following day I had a message on my Facebook from her about roller derby and that sort of started the six months of endless conversation and eventually a relationship,” she said.

“We took things real slow and really liked each other. Now we are married.

“I fail at one night stands but I’m good at getting wives.”

Jasmine and Tyla were married in Byfield in November 2019 after a one-year engagement.

Their daughter Phoebe was born on May 5, 2021 at Rockhampton Hospital.

“We went through IVF,” Jasmine said.

“Living in Central Queensland, we haven’t felt like any less of a family. No one treats Tyla any less than a parent.

“We gave birth to Phoebe up at Rockhampton Hospital and everyone was wonderful.

“They offered for Tyla to cut the cord and have skin to skin and catch the baby.

The Hewatt-BoydPratt family in Rockhampton. Picture: Aden Stokes

“We go to the midwives for regular check ups and they are all super great about Tyla coming.”

While Jasmine said her and Tyla don’t face much prejudice living in Rockhampton as an openly gay couple, they found the same-sex marriage plebiscite to be really hard.

“I think we got a taste of what it used to be like back in the day for gay people,” she said.

“I found that people who never impacted my life before ever suddenly got a say in whether my relationship was legitimate enough to be a relationship.

“I found myself doubting every interaction I had with anyone.

“If I saw a checkout chick with a rainbow flag I would think she doesn’t hate me and just assumed everyone else in Rocky did.

“People who we thought we were close with were like, ‘we love you guys but we don’t want you to be married or be happy’, or, ‘we just don’t like other gay people’.

“That was probably the hardest to live in Central Queensland and be gay. We were strongly considering leaving just because it was very rough.”

Jasmine said she cried when she heard the bill had passed.

“It was a huge relief because you just didn’t know how it was going to go,” she said.

The Hewatt-BoydPratt family in Rockhampton. Picture: Aden Stokes

“And even too that Rocky still had a majority yes vote, that was surprising and comforting.”

Tyla said she would like for Rockhampton to have a safe environment for queer people.

Jasmine agreed, saying she would like to see something similar to Clubrok, which cancelled its events after December 2017 following the closure of Flamingo’s.

“It was a safe space to date and express my sexuality and the youth growing up in Rocky don’t have that,” she said.

“They don’t have a bar where they can talk to people or meet people.

“Even the CQ fair days I think are important and don’t really happen anymore.

“When I was young and gay that was something that happened regularly and now that I have a family it would be nice to go and connect with other families that are in the same situation as us.”

Jasmine said she wanted young queer people to know it does get better.

“Every time I struggled when I was first trying to figure out if I was gay that mantra really helped me and look at where my life is now,” she said.

“It does get better. You just have to wait it out.”

The Hewatt-BoydPratt family in Rockhampton. Picture: Aden Stokes

Tyla said her message to other queer people was, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.

“I think that’s really important for anyone in the queer community to know, no one can make you feel bad without you letting them,” she said.

“Just be you, be it confidently and be happy.”

‘It’s all about trans visibility’

Rockhampton’s Leah McCabe came out as transgender in early 2021 and has been working hard to be visible and support other members of the trans community since her transition.

Leah, who works at CQUniversity, said she realised she was trans in late 2020 after “many years of trying to work stuff out”.

She said the first person she came out to was her wife Nicola.

“That was still as I was exploring my own identity,” she said.

Leah McCabe at CQU Rockhampton North. Picture: Aden Stokes

“She was in the loop from early on.

“The level of love and trust in our relationship is great.”

She said she came out to people through having one-on-one conversations.

“I started with the people closest to me, family and people I worked with directly,” she said.

“I caught them at a good time and spoke to them about the fact I had come to realise I was trans and that I would be transitioning and invited them to ask any questions.

“I found that by doing it that way I was able to build that base of support one person at a time.

“I wanted to leave every one of those one-on-one conversations like I had them on side.

“In terms of work, I spoke to our head of people and culture because I wanted her to send an email out to all staff announcing my transition and in the end she actually got the vice chancellor to do it which was even better.

“I did that to get the word out so nobody could say they didn’t know and as a show of support because I did fear what people’s reactions were if they were people I hadn’t spoken to but if you have that level of support it really helps.”

She said another reason for coming out the way she did was for “trans visibility”.

Leah McCabe at CQU Rockhampton North. Picture: Aden Stokes

“I got about 20 or so emails of support back from other staff members,” she said.

“What I treasured the most was the two or three emails I got from parents of trans kids who worked at the uni, talking about what seeing that email in their inbox meant for them.

“Because I have that level of support and confidence I have the ability to be as visible as I can and try and use that to lift up the rest of our community who are in tighter situations.”

She said she didn’t have any problems with the people she came out to or who knew of her transition.

“That’s luck and circumstances and the way that I went about that,” she said.

“It’s so dependant on people’s preconceived attitudes.

“I have never faced any trouble living here.”

Leah recently worked with CQUniversity’s ALLY network to publish gender transitioning guides for staff and students, which were launched during Transgender Day of Visibility on March 31.

“I went through the process of changing my name and gender in the university, and government, systems and I thought it would be really useful for other people coming along behind me to have all that documented in one place,” she said.

“It’s all about trans visibility.”

Leah McCabe at CQU Rockhampton North. Picture: Aden Stokes

She said her and a friend had also started a monthly “trans get together” in Rockhampton and believed it was important to connect with other trans people in the community.

“At the first meeting there were three of us, now we have about eight,” she said.

“I try and build that through word of mouth because it is a really beautiful opportunity to get together with other trans people.

“And there is a practical aspect to it as well because you can get referrals for things like accessing services and trans healthcare.”

She said she would like to see more services for people in the LGBTQIA+ community in Rockhampton, as well as a pride event.

Her biggest message to the trans community was to reach out to others.

“The perspectives and wisdom I got from connecting with other trans women helped me be the person I am now in terms of my confidence,” she said.

“I want that for every other trans person.

“It can make a huge difference.”

‘Can’t wait to go home’

Despite leaving home at 17 years old with big dreams to live in the city, gay Darumbal and Wulli-Wulli man Garret Lyon finds that he can never wait to visit family and friends back in Rockhampton.

Born and raised in Rockhampton, Garret said when he was younger he had this idea in his head that he had to have a wife and kids despite being into guys.

“I didn’t really know what I was until I moved to Meanjin (Brisbane) and went to college,” he said.

“There was openly gay men at college and lesbian couples and that’s where I was introduced to that world and that’s when I started to take a look at myself and realise I was similar to that.

Garret Lyon. Picture: Contributed

“When I was growing up I didn’t have any gay role models.

“There was nobody in my family or in the town that I knew.”

He said coming out was quite daunting.

“I did it via text to all of my family,” he said.

“I found my family just fully supported me.

“I know a lot of people have these ideas that there is a bit of tension about being gay in the Indigenous community.

“I never saw that, I never experienced that.

“Coming out was such a release and ever since life just got a little bit easier.”

Garret, who is a singer, songwriter and dancer, attended the Aboriginal Centre for the Performing Arts (ACPA) in Meanjin and said originally he couldn’t wait to get out of Rockhampton.

“Now I just always can’t wait to go home,” he said.

Garret Lyon. Picture: Contributed

“I don’t come back as often as I would like to.”

Garret will be heading to Gladstone this weekend to perform at Rainbow on the Reef’s pride festival fair day on June 11.

“I am super excited for Rainbow on the Reef,” he said.

“Audiences can expect a lot of dancing, a lot of big vocals and a lot of yarning because I love to talk.

“I just really want to connect with the audience and put on a show.

“I will also hopefully get to come into Rockhampton on Saturday night to spend time with family.”

He said he wanted people to be as kind as they can to themselves.

“Now that I am 30 and look back at old photos of myself I just wish I could give my younger self a big hug because I was quite cruel to him and suppressed a lot,” he said.

“I just want these young mob to know that even though the world isn’t where it needs to be it is getting better and just try to be kind to yourself.

“Do what’s best for you.”

‘I didn’t fit in’

After camping outside in a tent for 32 hours in line to see Panic! at the Disco perform live in 2018, Gladstone musician Kailee Butcher is now being tutored by the band’s bassist Nicole Row.

Kailee, who identifies as queer, said they knew from a young age that they didn’t fit in.

“I didn’t fit in with what society would consider the normal expected of a person,” they said.

“I have always been someone who has had a very different perspective and outlook on life.”

Gladstone's Kailee Butcher, bassist in RedThorn. Picture: Contributed

Kailee said they first told their mother they didn’t think they were straight at about 13 years old.

“My family has always been supportive and told me to live my best life and I am very grateful for that because I know a lot of people don’t have that,” they said.

“I know there was a lot fear because I did go to catholic schools as a child and was not sure where a lot of people in my life stood on that.

“Now I don’t really feel the need to come out.

“It’s just part of who I am and if someone reacts negatively to something I have to say they are not someone I need in my life.”

Kailee said in the past two years they had become more comfortable in being who they were.

“I have 18 piercings, a bunch of tattoos and I dress very alternatively and I don’t think I would have done that without knowing there was a supportive community,” they said.

“A lot of my self expression is out of the joy I have in being myself now, something I didn’t have for a long part of my life.

“Dressing eccentrically is my way of expressing my queerness.”

Kailee started to play flute when they were about 10 years old and had always had an absolute love for music, “unparalleled by anything else”.

Gladstone's Kailee Butcher, bassist in RedThorn. Picture: Contributed

In 2017, Kailee started to get into bands like Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco and My Chemical Romance.

“I started doing flute covers online and found a very large community of people who loved what I did,” they said.

“In 2018, I saw Panic! at the Disco and Fall Out Boy live.

“At both of those concerts I fell in love with the bass guitar and that’s when I learned I wanted to learn a real instrument.

“The flute is beautiful and will always have my heart and soul but I wanted to learn something that could be part of a band landscape.

“I walked into a music store and bought the first bass I saw.

“I taught myself for about three months and I actually managed to get in contact with the bass player at Panic! at the Disco, Nicole Row, and I have her teaching me.

“That was a pretty big deal and fostered my love for it.”

Kailee auditioned for local band RedThorn in 2020 and has been gigging with them ever since, as well as being part of the band ViperSnatch.

RedThorn will hit the stage at Rainbow on the Reef’s pride festival fair day on June 11, with Kailee on bass guitar.

Gladstone band RedThorn. Picture: Contributed

“When I first found out about Rainbow on the Reef last year I thought it was amazing for a place like Gladstone to have a community so out and proud,” they said.

“I have always felt the need to, not hide my sexuality, but not talk about it. It was something I kept under wraps.

“It opened my eyes to how many supportive people there are and how it is okay to live your truth and be who you are as a person.

“I have attended quite a few of Rainbow on the Reef’s events, we played at Rainbow in the Gardens last year and it was a fantastic.

“We had people up dancing, we had people cheering which is always a fantastic feeling. People really enjoyed it.

“I have made a lot of lifelong friends and will always cherish the people I have met through these events.

“Whether you’re a member of the community or an ally, it is such a great place to be so authentically yourself.

“It really is such a loving community.

“There is a place for you. There is a community out there that loves you for who you are.

“This is an event that allows your authenticity to shine through.”

LGBTQIA+ services in Central Qld

Headspace Rockhampton has created a safe space for all LGBTQIA+ young people in its Rainbow Space groups.

Clinical services manager Lee Valentine said headspace support young people aged 12-25 with mental health, physical health (including sexual health), alcohol and other drug services, as well as work and study support.

With a focus on early intervention, Ms Valentine said headspace works with young people to provide support at a crucial time in their lives and to help get them back on track and strengthen their ability to manage their mental health in the future.

She said Rainbow Space groups are a safe place to discuss identity, express yourself creatively, make friends and learn from community speakers.

“LGBTIA+ people face up to twice as much abuse or violence than their heterosexual/cisgender counterparts,” she said.

“This prejudice and discrimination adds an additional layer of risk on top of biological, social, environmental and psychological factors.

“Research has found that LGBTQIA+ people have an increased risk of depression and anxiety, substance abuse, self-harming and suicidal thoughts.

“If you are interested in individual counselling, attending a group or both please give us a call.

“We will get some details from you and be able to see for an initial intake appointment within two days.”

President of PFLAG+ Brisbane and National spokeswoman for PFLAG Australia Jane Hopkins said since Covid the organisation had been running its peer support programs via Zoom, which had made the service more accessible to parents in regional Queensland.

PFLAG is an international volunteer organisation that supports parents and caregivers of LGBTQIA+ children of all ages.

Ms Hopkins said she hoped PFLAG could continue to provide much needed support for parents who were in regional areas.

“This is extremely important to us because research shows clearly that the main contributor to survivorship in our LGBTQIA+ community is family support,” she said.

“By supporting families, we are actually creating safer and more accepting spaces for our LGBTQIA+ children who shouldn’t have to also have the burden of educating others when sometimes they are fighting every day just to exist and accept themselves.”

She said PFLAG had been in touch with many people in the bush that were trying to make things better.

“We’ve been contacted by people in Ayr, Mount Isa, Stanthorpe and Gladstone who want to increase representation and visibility for LGBTQIA+ folk in their various communities,” she said.

Rainbow Gay Pride Parade. Picture: iStock

“In fact, we are attending Gladstone’s inaugural pride festival on June 11.

“But there is a lack of representation and diversity in the regional areas which means many young people may feel uncomfortable or less inclined to come out, and instead look to travel to the city where they feel more supported and represented.

“The flow on effect is that their parents aren’t always able to offer them the support they may need.

“Additionally, parents don’t necessarily have access to education and resources on how best to support their children either.

“While friends can be helpful, we have found there is nothing like engaging with people with similar lived experience who truly understand not only the problems but also the hope and promise of finding out your child is sex or gender diverse.”

She said the majority of services for gender diverse children were in Brisbane.

She said regional areas were under-represented in calls PFLAG received for help.

“We know there are parents in Rockhampton looking for resources and we are happy for them to reach out to us,” she said.

“We know representation is limited there and we are also happy for community and corporations to reach out to us to start to improve their diversity and inclusion programs.

“The truth is we have no idea when our beautiful children are born if they are gender or sexually diverse.

“When our children are small we take them to playgroup, but it’s mainly for support and encouragement for us as parents and we often form lifelong connections in these spaces.

“It’s the same with PFLAG+.

“It’s a safe space to express and share your fears, sadness, hope, and good news stories with other people with lived experience.

“We really want to encourage parents in regional areas to start making these connections for yourselves, and we are happy to provide you with ideas and resources to do that.

“We have opened up access to our community meetings via Zoom, and our parent support volunteers are happy to chat to parents in need.

“We encourage anyone in the regions that needs help to contact us via our contact form at our website.”

She said the organisation was currently working on national projects that will go Australia wide beginning in September through PFLAG Australia with a national webinar for parents whose children have come out and who need help to understand what they are going through.

Originally published as LGBTQIA+ community share their stories of living in Central Queensland