Ipswich nurse Bec Vallee turns down kidney donation from husband Ryan to help daughter Ambrosia as body rejects transplant

A brave southeast Queensland mum has turned down an offer of a life-saving kidney transplant from her husband, after realising her daughter also needs a kidney.

Ipswich nurse Bec Vallee with husband Ryan and daughter Ambrosia.

An Ipswich nurse has bravely turned down a kidney donation from her husband in order to safeguard the future of their young daughter, a decision which has put her back on a waiting list for a life-saving transplant.

Bec Vallee received a donor kidney from her mother Kathy when she was 17, a gift which allowed her to travel and finish university.

She was diagnosed with kidney disease at the age of 12 and it was her dream to become a nurse in order to help others dealing with health issues.

Ms Vallee, 31, received a donor kidney from her mother but her body has started to reject it.

But her body has started to reject the donor kidney and she has taken leave from her job as a nurse educator with West Moreton Health.

“My kidney function is under five per cent, so it is just not possible to work and manage my health issues and family life, as I am constantly fatigued,” she said.

Husband Ryan planned to donate one of his kidneys to save his wife, until a prenatal scan revealed their unborn also had abnormal kidney development.

It was later discovered Ms Vallee’s condition was a rare genetic kidney disease which her daughter Ambrosia had also inherited.

Their little girl, now two-years-old, will eventually require a kidney transplant and it is hoped Ryan will be a suitable match.

Ms Vallee, 31, is back on renal dialysis three days a week for six hours at a time.

She is on the kidney transplant waitlist and is waiting for a kidney donation.

Given the low rate of organ donation and suitable matches in Australia, it is a process which could take years.

But she said she was prepared to make that sacrifice in order to create a brighter future for her daughter.

The Ipswich nurse is back on renal dialysis three days a week for six hours at a time.

She said it was not a decision which she took any time to consider.

“It was immediate,” she said.

“There wasn’t even 10 minutes of thinking. Just no time at all.

“Those people who have kids know they would lay down their life no matter who you are.

“I have been blessed with my second chance at life. When she needs it Ryan is very willing and ready. It’s a small price to pay for her to get her dad’s kidney.”

Ms Vallee said she approached things with a positive outlook and having a life-threatening illness had given her perspective.

She has been on sick leave for a month and said the health battle had zapped her of the energy to commit to a busy role at the hospital on top of caring for her family and undergoing treatment.

“I’m very lucky,” she said.

“You have complications and I’m unwell most days but in saying that most people are a lot worse off.

“We just look for the positives moving forward.“I had to lay down the career path and I’ll take it back up later.

“Many people aren’t here anymore and don’t have that same opportunity to wake up every morning and be here and be with their family.

“Every day is a gift and I aboslutely give it my all.“I don’t let it hold me back.”

Ms Vallee is sharing her story as part of DonateLife Week, which this year is aiming to eliminate myths about organ donation.

Ipswich Hospital Donation Specialist Nurse Kate Robinson said organ donation was rare with less than two per cent of people who die in hospital able to do so.

“It’s something we only see a couple of times a year, if we are lucky, at Ipswich Hospital,” she said.

“You need all the stars to align.

“There are so many steps in the organ and tissue donation process, that any one of them can put a halt on the process.

“This year we are participating in several initiatives to increase registrations in the West Moreton region, including the Great Registration Race, which aims to get an extra 100,000 Australians to sign up.

“We hope to gain new registrations from as many eligible people living in the West Moreton region as we can.”

As well as organs, donated tissues such as skin can help burn patients, corneas can restore sight and bone and knee cartilage can help people to walk again.

The West Moreton Health team is urging people to get on board the campaign and register for organ donation.

Common myths include being too old to be a donor (anyone can donate), living an unhealthy lifestyle (anyone who smokes or drinks can donate), being ruled out due to having lived in the United Kingdom (you can donate organs but not tissues in this case), it’s best to let your family decide for you (it’s best to make a decision as soon as possible and let them know) and donating will disfigure your body (it is specialised surgery which does not disfigure).

You can message support to Ms Vallee, make a donation and join the Great Registration Place by visiting the Ipswich Hospital Foundation website.

Read more stories by Lachlan McIvor here.

Originally published as Ipswich nurse Bec Vallee turns down kidney donation from husband Ryan to help daughter Ambrosia as body rejects transplant