Who do boys have as female role models?

Sons need strong female role models outside of their domestic environment

INSPIRATION: Jodie Whittaker, as the new Doctor on Doctor Who , is an example of a woman outside the traditional roles that young boys can admire. Picture: Colin Hutton

LIFE AS I KNOW IT

WHAT kind of women do your sons have as role models?

It's an interesting question and one that is becoming part of the conversation of the #MeToo movement.

Most will probably go straight to the obvious choice - their mother. Some might say their sisters or other female relatives or friends within the family's social circles.

These are the women young boys are exposed to mostly, the family connections that provide nurturing roles. An important relationship but, when you really look at it, quite a narrow one when it comes to demonstrating to young male minds where women sit within our social infrastructure.

Female teachers might also come into the mix. Again, these can be nurturing or guidance roles along with the academic element they provide.

Then there are the girlfriends. More relationship-based exposure. Nurturing, emotional contact that extends into intimacy and friendship if it's a good one.

Then these women become partners, wives, mistresses, whatever takes its course in one's life as a male. Often going from one nurturer to another. The saying that some men marry their mothers isn't such a stretch when you think about it.

But what about in the greater scheme of women on the planet? The women these young men don't personally know but could admire regardless. Where and when do they find them in within the patriarchal structures that still dominate across the world?

Where do females that aren't based on some kind of nurturing or sexual opportunity come into young males' lives these days?

Strong female role models begin with figures like superheroes or in the sporting arena but with all the male examples dominating the landscape, it's slim pickings for young boys unless they are encouraged to actively look for them.

It shouldn't be hard for them to admire Samantha Kerr as much as Tim Cahill - unless female sport is considered a second-rate game in their household.

That same train of thought then travels with them throughout their lives as they are exposed to more and more platforms; political, business and professional arenas where young men find it easy to look up to male role models because there are so many more out there in the top-shelf positions.

There are women who are just as fit to be in those powerful roles as men. Take Jacinda Ardern or Penny Wong. Are boys encouraged to see these women and understand what this means?

It's easy to say that children have both male and female role models in their lives but what kind of examples are we talking about?

A recent article about the new Doctor Who contained an interesting observation when it pointed out the possibility for change with the next generation of boys.

There was a meet and greet with the latest Doctor, Jodie Whittaker, the first female to be given the role. Over the program's history each Doctor has had their own persona and uniform and Whittaker's has been established in a specially concocted mix to announce her arrival and individuality to the cult TV series.

A young fan, a boy, came dressed as his hero The Doctor, only he didn't emulate any of the 12 male characters that had already preceded the first female offering - he came dressed as Whittaker's Doctor.

This was telling. Her gender was irrelevant to this kid, who just saw a new hero up on stage. The fact she is a woman playing the legendary Doctor will just be part and parcel of what he will be exposed to as a young and impressionable television viewer. So much so he was prepared to wear her outfit. He already has a female role model outside of his home life to admire and feel inspired by.

While it was an admirable decision by the BBC - they said it was time - the cynic in me can't help think that the falling ratings in the franchise and the rapidly changing dialogue around the treatment of women forced their hand to some degree. (We might have to wait a few more years longer until we see Jane Bond skilfully driving an Aston Martin in pursuit of an evil female doctor hell-bent causing some ecological disaster for monetary gain.)

Unfortunately the adult male author of the Doctor Who article was more traditional when it came to embracing the change. He was impressed mainly because he is the father of daughters and thinks having a woman in the role is a good thing for them.

Why so many men only show their support for strong female role models because they have reproduced girls is pretty indicative of the mindset they grew up with. The realisation that women deserve to be celebrated and given the same respect and opportunities they expect as men is suddenly much more important because they are fathers to females.

Encouraging boys to have and be exposed to a diversity of female role models can only help improve their future relationships with them and general attitudes towards them.

Just look at the Liberal Party. It encapsulates the generation of not having female role models outside of the kitchen.

The same applies to industries that are male-heavy, the holy grails of professions such as engineering, architecture, banking and medicine. It's hard for young boys to see that women are just as capable as men when those women are constantly shut out by the boys' club (it is a thing).

But it is getting better, very slowly, which is why quotas are being enforced to help speed up the process. The sooner young boys see more women in these roles, the better for their personal growth.

Young boys have seen women like Julia Gillard in charge briefly but then they see what happens afterwards. Particularly incidious insults and criticisms that are exclusive to women in power. Their one opportunity to see a woman doing something other than wiping their nose or driving them around to sport is a brief dalliance.

Boys that only associate women with serving their needs or providing nurturing or sexually fulfilling roles is reductive.

They become reliant on them to solve their personal problems including mental and physical health issues, presume domestic duties will be taken care of and basically expect them to organise their lives.

In their minds it is their role (and right) to work and earn and provide for their families on the main stage, their high-profile contributions rewarded with recognition, monetary compensation and a pat on the back by society.

Women work too but that contribution is secondary, despite bearing the extra burden of the mental load that comes with being part of a household. This includes having to deal with everything from "what's for dinner?" or "where are my socks?" to knowing what all the buttons and lights on the washing machine mean.

Boys grow up watching this and forming their views on women. Do something to expand it. Even if it's as simple as getting them to tune into the new series of Doctor Who.

The new series of Doctor Who starts Monday (October 8), 6pm on ABC.

Originally published as Who do boys have as female role models?