How to be happier: Frances Whiting’s survival guide

It’s the question we all would like the answer to, how can we be happier?

I never had a pen pal growing up, but I longed for one so, for me, one of the best things about having this column –actually scratch that – the best thing about having this column is the letters I receive from you all.

Your correspondence makes me smile, laugh, reflect and, on occasion, cry. Sometimes a reader will ask me for advice, which I mostly feel woefully ill- equipped to answer, but will always give it a red hot go.

This week I opened a handwritten missive that said: “Dear Frances, how can I be happier?”

That’s a big question for just seven words, isn’t it? It’s also a question I don’t have the answer to, but I do have some suggestions.

These are all quite small things, but I have done each of them myself when I am feeling blue. Here they are, and I hope at least one of them might help. There was no name attached to the letter, so I’ll just address it to:

Dear Friend,

When I can’t afford an expensive bouquet, I buy the cheapest bunch on offer – hello carnations – and thicken it up with greenery from my garden, or nick some from someone else’s.

But instead of putting it in the lounge room or on the dining room table, I put it in my bedroom because it makes me feel like a fancy pants lady.

If you are feeling lonely, please take yourself to your closest public library, even if you have never set foot in one. Particularly if you have never set foot in one. Librarians are the best people in the world at sharing book ideas, but they will also tell you about the many interest groups that meet among the shelves.

Frances Whiting on her survival guide to being happier. Picture: David Kelly

From genealogy classes to knitting for beginners, these are usually free, and there is every chance you might just find your tribe there. Or at least learn how to play Mahjong.

Invest in your own learning. Lately I’ve been listening to a classical music station on the way to work in the mornings to learn something about a genre I know very little about. Also to stop me from committing road rage. May I recommend ABC classical or 4MBS in Queensland, 2MBS in NSW, 3MBS in Victoria, and 5MBS in South Australia?

Walk, walk, walk. Then walk a little further. There is nothing better for a little spirit lifting than to get outside, get some sun, or wind, or rain on your face, and put one foot in front of the other. Doesn’t matter where, when or how long for, I promise you this. You will feel better than you did before you set out.

Google “Edna Everage, Royal Box”. Trust me on this one.

That’s all I have space for today, but I would also love to hear what you do when you need a lift – apart from pouring yourself a stiff G and T – which I agree can also help.

I’ll share your tips in a later column and, in the meantime, to my anonymous friend, here’s a favourite quote of mine of, I believe, Portuguese origin – It will be all right in the end and if it’s not all right, it’s not the end.
Cheers.

Originally published as How to be happier: Frances Whiting’s survival guide