Toowoomba Together holds domestic and family violence vigil at Empire Theatre

Toowoomba watched the light fizzle out on hundreds of sparklers, each representing lives taken by domestic and family violence.

Toowoomba Together hosting the Domestic Violence candle vigil in the Empire Theatre garden. More than 200 people attended the ceremony. Photo: David Martinelli.

Hundreds gathered with candles in hand to support victims and survivors of domestic and family violence at a vigil on Wednesday night.

One family stood together under the flickering candlelight in memory of someone very close to them.

Frances Crawford's sister Lane Pilon, Frances Crawford's mum Joke Pilon, and two close friends Kathi Mitchell and Andrie Van Bruchem at Toowoomba DFV vigil.

Lane Pilon and her mother-in-law Joke Pilon are family members of Frances Crawford, who was allegedly killed last July in the Lockyer Valley.

Frances’ husband Robert Crawford was charged with her murder and was released on bail in April. Mr Crawford has indicated that he will contest the charges.

Lane said the family is going through so many ‘firsts’ without her sister-in-law by their side.

“We are ordinary people caught up in an extraordinarily awful event and like everyone else, we are trying to navigate a world we never wanted to be a part of,” she said.

“People are being assaulted, tortured, murdered and it’s mostly women and mostly by people who should be doing completely the opposite.

“There’s a lot of women who just live with that kind of fear on a day-to-day basis.

“It’s just a nightmare that keeps repeating.”

Toowoomba Together hosting the Domestic Violence candle vigil in the Empire Theatre garden. Over 200 people attended the ceremony. Photo: David Martinelli.

The vigil was organised by Toowoomba Together and supported by Toowoomba Regional Council, the Domestic Violence Action Centre, and Zonta, an international women’s rights organisation.

Councillor Melissa Taylor said every week the Toowoomba courthouse was inundated with DFV cases and there were no signs of it slowing.

“These are not just flickering lights, they are flames that remind us of lives taken and of lives left behind,” she said.

“They remind us of futures that will never unfold and families forever changed.

“We cannot stand on the sidelines. We must recognise the signs, the fear in someone’s eyes, the controlling behaviour, the unexplained absences, the withdrawal.”

Toowoomba Together hosting the Domestic Violence candle vigil in the Empire Theatre garden. Over 200 people attended the ceremony. Photo: David Martinelli.

This year at the vigil there were not only candles but sparklers, and the vigil master of ceremonies Sheridan Rehn said this was an intentional choice.

“We all have a spark, a very unique spark within us,” she said.

“As you see the sparkler get lower and lower you will understand how those lives all of a sudden burn out.”

Ms Rehn spoke directly to DFV victims.

“Your presence on this earth matters more than you know,” she said.

“You brought something no one else could, a unique voice, a special light, a heart that touched others in ways you will never see.

“You are needed, valued, and deeply important. I am sorry.”

Toowoomba Together hosting the Domestic Violence candle vigil in the Empire Theatre garden. Over 200 people attended the ceremony. Photo: David Martinelli.

Toowoomba Together member Tony Rehn said he wasn’t going to thank the people who showed up at the vigil, because coming out to support DFV victims should be a given, not something people are praised for.

“Silence isn’t golden,” he said.

“Silence helps it happen, helps it fester in the dark.

“I am going to call on all the blokes here right now, if you know someone that is using violence it is about time you said something about it.

“From the horrible jokes, sexist jokes, misogynistic jokes, rudeness, whatever it is, call them on it.”