On the other hand, women in the region are waving the “man drought” flag. Can both be true at the same time? Or are we just collectively calling foul on each other?

And I was right there with you, ladies. Honestly, I love living here in Cairns, but every person I meet has told me: if I want a relationship, get out of Cairns. Because there are no men here. Especially not in my age bracket (ticket that 35 and up box).

We did a call-out recently, looking for Cairns’ most eligible bachelor. And women of Cairns, let me tell you, all is not lost: we had more than 200 nominations.

That’s a lot of single dudes.

So what is going on? If that many men are single and wanting to date, why can’t we seem to find “the one”?

Columnist Chante Josephs recently sent the internet into a tailspin when she asked the question: is it now embarrassing to have a boyfriend?

It’s a good question girlfriend, and one that has got me thinking. I don’t feel it’s embarrassing to have a partner, but what I am questioning is: am I ready to let go of my single self? I’m not messing up my pH balance for just anyone, least of all someone whose idea of flirting is a “wyd” text.

Let me explain…

The Vogue article that went viral claimed some women are trying to straddle two worlds. It raised a bunch of questions about women trying to maintain their single-ness while also reaping the benefits of having someone to love. Clearly, it’s a relatable topic.

Just days before that piece was published, my friends and I were joking that the crocodile, affectionately named ‘Sheraton’ after she was captured at the Sheridan Hotel in Port Douglas, wasn’t just swimming. No, she was escaping men.

Experts said the small female croc, likely fed up with the sex-fuelled chaos of mating season, wandered into the five-star resort to avoid larger crocs during the more aggressive mating season. The girl was also embarrassed to have a boyfriend, clearly.

So is this an omen? What has gone so sideways that we’re here?

Everyone worries about what will wipe out the human race — vaccines, another Covid strain, or World War Whatever.

I don’t think so. The real threat? Us, collectively opting out of procreation.

As my very scientific dad once said (bless him), “Just make sure he’s got good genes for when you reproduce.” Helpful. Thanks, Dad.

And yet, the conversation still lands on the female species. If a woman isn’t in a relationship by 40, she’s a “spinster.” A man? He’s a bachelor. Classic double standards.

Since we’re all struggling to find true love, perhaps we should look inward.

Have we become a society of fear, dread, and commitment-phobia — terrified that something better might be around the corner? And I do get it. I have suffered from that in my life too, and not just in the dating world.

Would I love to find my person and enjoy a life together? Yes. But do I also like sleeping undisturbed without the constant snoring men? Absolutely.

The School of Life seconds this, arguing that the ability to be truly single is a crucial skill for a healthy partnership.

We often devote years to someone, convinced it is love, yet overlook the most basic question: “Do they treat me with kindness?”

The article said that by making peace with solitude — including its inevitable boredom and loneliness — you can gain the confidence to reject unsuitable partners and wait for someone genuinely compatible.

When the fear of being alone no longer drives our choices, kindness, compatibility, and emotional intelligence take centre stage.

And this really resonates with me. I feel this is where I am right now in my life. I’m rather enjoying being on my own.

So here we are, dear reader… crocs are fleeing, boyfriends are allegedly embarrassing, dating shows are still glorifying scarcity, and men and women alike are complaining about a “drought.”

Maybe the real question isn’t where the good people are — maybe it’s why we’re all so terrified of putting our hearts on the line, and why we need to learn to be okay alone.
Email me at emma.cam@news.com.au if you’re a female in Cairns looking for love and want to nominate yourself for the Cairns Post Bachelorette call out.

emma.cam@news.com.au