Why you should always arrive on time

IF YOU’RE that person who is always late to everything, take a good hard look at yourself. It could be life changing.

Don’t be the person scrambling to get everything done and running late in the process.

UNTIL recently, the most common text message to leave my phone was “Sorry, running late!”

I’d arrive at the appointment or catch-up with a racing pulse and excuses about peak hour traffic or cancelled trains and smile sweetly, trusting all would be forgiven because it wasn’t my fault.

It wasn’t my fault that my internet was slow when I was trying to send an email before leaving home or that Google Maps’ time estimation didn’t account for a bad red light run or that I’d caught a train that got me into the city bang on our meeting time without factoring in the walk to the cafe.

I’d gotten used to the heart palpitations and frantic thoughts that accompanied the rushed journey to almost any event I had to attend.

I’d read that running late is a trait of optimistic people — we are optimistic about how long it takes to do things, so figure 10 minutes is plenty to hang out the washing, unpack away the dishwasher and make a phone call before meeting a friend.

Being optimistic is generally accepted as a positive thing so I started to see running late as a badge of honour. I was proud of my ability to fit emails, phone calls and vacuuming into ridiculously tight time windows — I was convinced that I was milking every spare minute of the day and being uber productive.

This is what Kimberly Gillan used to look like getting ready.

But that productivity backfired when I started noticing my friends’ subtle eye-rolls at my gushed apologies and my husband’s not-so-subtle rant when I was an hour late meeting him for a weekend away, causing us to travel at a snail’s pace in the peak hour traffic we’d aimed to skip.

My husband prides himself on punctuality and told me that running late shows an absolute disrespect for other people’s time. His words hit a nerve — as much as I’m an optimist and a productivity seeker, I’m also a people pleaser and hated the realisation that I was irking everyone around me.

So this year, I’ve forced myself to allow more time to get places. I have to ignore the “She’ll be right” thought patterns that beg me to catch the latest possible train so that I can get more done before I leave home, and instead shut the door on our messy apartment or a half-drafted email.

As predicted, my friends and family have been much happier — but what I didn’t expect was how much calmer I would be. My heart palpitations have reduced to almost non-existence and I feel so much more balanced.

I’ve realised that running late amps up your stress levels so much that any sense of achievement from what you got done earlier is negated — and there’s actually something beneficial about arriving early and spending five minutes reading the paper rather than almost running red lights to try make it on time.

Psychologist Marny Lishman says so many of us have forgotten the value of spare time, and just a few five-minute gaps throughout the day can do wonders for our sense of balance and ease.

“We spend so much time trying to cram everything in but our brain and body doesn’t like it,” she told news.com.au. “If you have little windows in your day to just sit, you’re actually going to work better when you’re busy again because you’ve recharged and got your body back to a relaxed state.”

Dr Lishman suggests planning out each week in advance. “Don’t do it while you’re in it because nothing good happens in the moment of stress,” she says. “Give yourself good chunks of time on each side [of an appointment].”

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by everything you need to fit in, Dr Lishman suggests taking some deep breaths to induce a relaxation response before determining your actual priorities. “If you’re finding you’re getting frazzled or snappy at people, consciously notice what your body’s doing and go, ‘OK look around me — what really needs to be done?’ Everything else can be left.”

Last week I ended up 20 minutes early to meet my husband at his office so I treated myself to a quiet pinot noir at a nearby bar and did some writing. I got more done in that short window than I would have if I’d tried to cram it in before I left and I didn’t have the stress of being late.

Wine and a relaxed vibe? Yep, this punctuality thing keeps on giving.

Originally published as Why you should always arrive on time