What parents can learn from Netflix’s Gabby Petito docuseries

How do we encourage our kids to embrace independence and adventure while ensuring they recognise danger and the reality behind social media’s glossy veneer?

Trigger warning: This article discusses domestic violence, coercive control, financial abuse, and trauma, including physical and emotional abuse, manipulation and homicide. Some readers may find the content distressing. If you need support, please contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or a trusted support service.

Netflix’s latest true crime documentary, American Murder: Gabby Petito, is a confronting watch for anyone. It tells the devastating story of 22-year-old Gabby Petito, a young woman who set off on a cross-country road trip in the US with her fiancé, Brian Laundrie, in July 2021. The couple documented their travels on social media, presenting an idyllic, carefree lifestyle. But behind the scenes, tensions were building.

On August 12 of the same year, police in Moab, Utah, responded to a call about a domestic disturbance between the couple. Bodycam footage showed Gabby distressed and taking the blame for an altercation, a chilling insight into the dynamics of their relationship. By late August, Gabby stopped responding to messages from her family. Her last known text was sent on August 27, raising concerns about her safety. Brian returned home to Florida alone on September 1, refusing to speak about Gabby’s whereabouts. After a highly publicised search, her remains were discovered in Wyoming on September 19. By this time, Laundrie had also been declared missing by his family. His remains were found on October 20, 2021 with a coroner later recording his cause of death as a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

For parents, this story isn’t just another true crime binge. It’s a gut-wrenching reminder of how fragile that transition from teenager to independent adult can be. How do we encourage our kids to chase adventure while keeping them safe? How do we help them spot red flags in relationships when they’re still learning about love? And how do we make sure they’ll call us when things go wrong, instead of trying to handle it all on their own?

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Image: Netflix

The fine line between adventure and safety

Every parent wants to raise an independent, resilient kid who can take on the world. But when they finally do, it can be terrifying. Gabby was young, brave and full of dreams, just like so many of our kids who plan gap years, road trips and overseas adventures. It’s easy to tell ourselves, “this wouldn’t happen to my child.” But the truth is, bad things don’t just happen to ‘other people.’

In Australia, road trips are a common rite of passage for young people. From van journeys up and down the east coast to solo backpacking adventures, the allure of the open road is a major part of growing up. But as much as we want to encourage their sense of adventure, watching our kids leave for their first big trip is daunting. Australia is vast, with long stretches of remote roads, unpredictable weather, and limited mobile reception in some areas.

Teaching our kids to prepare for these realities - through careful planning, safety measures, and regular check-ins - can help ease some of the fear while still giving them the freedom to explore.

As parents, we learn to shift the conversation from “don’t go” to “here’s how to go safely.” That means ensuring our kids have solid plans, access to money that only they control, and a safety net of people they can call - without fear of judgment - if things take a bad turn.

Encouraging independence isn’t about letting go completely - it’s about giving our kids the skills to navigate the world safely. That means teaching them how to set boundaries, trust their instincts, and recognise when a situation doesn’t feel right.

Raising independent teens has significant benefits - they develop confidence, resilience, and problem-solving skills that will serve them throughout life. When given the right tools, young adults can make smart decisions while still knowing when to ask for guidance.

RELATED: Gabby Petito’s family reveal heartbreaking tribute

The red flags we can’t afford to miss

One of the most chilling aspects of Gabby’s case is how textbook it was in terms of coercive control.

Parents can play a crucial role in helping their kids spot the signs of coercive control early. Encourage open discussions about what healthy love looks like - mutual respect, freedom, and emotional safety. Remind them that love should build them up, not break them down. And most importantly, make sure they know that if something feels wrong, it is wrong.

Warning signs of a toxic, coercively controlling relationship to watch out for:

• Isolation from loved ones - Encouraging distance from family and friends to create dependence.
• Extreme jealousy and possessiveness - Turning normal interactions into accusations of betrayal.
• Constant criticism and belittling - Undermining confidence with put-downs disguised as "jokes" or "honest feedback."
• Gaslighting and manipulation - Twisting the truth to make the other person doubt their own feelings and reality.
• Financial control - Restricting access to money or making someone justify every dollar spent.
• Monitoring and invasion of privacy - Checking messages, tracking locations, or demanding constant updates.
• Emotional blackmail - Using guilt, threats, or silent treatment to get their way.
• Love bombing followed by withdrawal - Overwhelming affection one moment, coldness or punishment the next.
• Blaming and deflection - Refusing to take responsibility and twisting every issue to make it the other person’s fault.
• Fear and intimidation - Subtle or direct threats, explosive anger, or actions designed to keep the other person walking on eggshells.

RELATED: Gabby Petito’s cause of death released

Social media isn’t real life

Gabby’s Instagram was filled with stunning shots of van life - golden sunsets, open roads, a picture-perfect love story. But behind the scenes, police bodycam footage from a traffic stop showed a different reality: Gabby distressed, anxious, and trying to take the blame for an argument that had turned physical. It’s a stark reminder that what we see online is rarely the full picture.

Today’s teens and young adults live in a world where relationships are curated for social media. They’re more likely to compare their love lives to influencers than to have open conversations about what healthy relationships actually look like. The pressure to present a perfect relationship online can trap young people in dangerous situations - they may be too afraid or ashamed to admit things aren’t as they seem.

As parents, we need to talk to our kids about the reality behind the highlight reels. Encourage them to look beyond the likes and filters, and ask themselves: How does this relationship actually make me feel? Remind them that real love isn’t about appearances - it’s about respect, trust, and emotional security.

Keeping the lines of communication open

The scariest thought for any parent is that their child might be in trouble and not feel safe enough to tell them. It’s easy to say, “just call me if something’s wrong,” but in reality, many young people hesitate. They worry about disappointing their parents, losing their independence, or being told “I told you so.”

Instead, we need to create an environment where they know they can reach out - without fear of blame or judgment. This means:

• Having conversations about relationships early and often.
• Letting them know they can always ask for help, no matter how messy the situation.
• Offering practical solutions instead of just advice. “How can I help?” goes further than “you should leave.”
• Reassuring them that needing help doesn’t mean they’ve failed at adulthood.

Gabby Petito’s story is heartbreaking, but it’s also a call to action for parents raising kids in an unpredictable world. Independence and adventure are vital parts of growing up, but so is knowing when - and how - to ask for help.

Our job isn’t to stop them from going out into the world. It’s to make sure they know they always have a safe place to come home to.

Originally published as What parents can learn from Netflix’s Gabby Petito docuseries