The $2000 dating rule to avoid ‘frightful’ sex syndrome from men

A “frightful” syndrome experienced by some men after sex has led to a fight back that means some women are now withholding it.

Woman’s $2000 dating rule to avoid Post Nut Syndrome from men,

It’s a question as old as time: how long should you wait before you sleep together?

As a woman, this question is particularly tricky.

Not because we’re supposed to be ‘ladies’. That view died as soon as the Sex and the City girls knocked blokes over the head with the news that, yes, women enjoy getting jiggy with it just as much as they do.

No, no, it’s tricker for women because thanks to podcaster Joe Rogan, we’ve all heard about the frightful ‘post nut syndrome’ (PNS).

Just in case you haven’t, PNS involves a man experience some sort of guilt following climax, primarily over how they achieved orgasm. This feeling could be the result of having an affair, watching pornography, or hooking up with someone they don’t actually have genuine feelings for.

Rogan explains it best saying, “you realise you made a mistake, especially if the woman is really into you, and you’re really not into her and you’re like ‘oh I made an error’ and then you do feel like an a**hole, but I’m just being honest. I got tricked by genetics!’

Thanks to Joe Rogan, Post Nut Syndrome is something women now know and worry about. Picture: Douglas P. DeFelice / GETTY IMAGES NORTH AMERICA / AFP

Nobody wants to be left victim to a man’s PNS, says Jana Hocking. Picture: Instagram

So, trust me when I say, as a woman you don’t want to be jumping into bed with a guy too early only for him to get the job done, experience PNS, and then vamoosh into thin air.

I honestly think there is nothing more brutal than being ghosted after sex. Mortifying.

So when I heard a brand new theory about how long you should wait before having sex I leaned in.

Now, quick disclaimer, when the answer was first put to me, I literally made the “pfffft” sound. Yes, be warned, it sounds that ridiculous. But give it a second, and let the theory sink in and you may eventually come around to it.

I discovered it last weekend during a road trip listening to a great dating podcast by a woman called ‘Tinx’. Yes, fabulous name.

She was going through a list of dating non-negotiables and casually mentioned that a friend of hers has now made a point of not sleeping with a guy until he has spent at least $2000 on dates with her.

Yes, you read that right, a whopping $2000. Has no one heard of the cost-of-living crisis? No longer are we basing the decision on time (aka three to five dates), we’re basing it on cash, cash, money. Specifically, $2000!

So, like I said, at first I was feeling a little outraged. Surely you can’t hold a man to that? Plus, in this day and age, shouldn’t we be paying for half the bill anyway? OK, OK, that’s a debate for another day.

But $2000 on dates before you get rudie nudie seemed a little extreme … at first.

Then I let my mind wander to the couple of gents I’ve jumped into bed with after three to five dates and I thought, “sheesh if I was living by that theory I could probably have avoided a couple of mistakes.”

The first reason why this new rule is kinda growing on me is that if a guy is willing to go on enough dates to warrant $2000 out of pocket expense, then there’s a fair chance the guy is properly invested in you. I mean, if a libido can withstand that many dates, then he’s a keeper.

(Well, unless he is super loaded and can comfortably blow $2000 on one to two dates. In that case I say bugger it, jump right in. JOKING!)

The second reason I like this rule, and I think most importantly, is spending that amount of time together without getting distracted by nakedness might actually help us get all those icks out of the way nice and early.

For example, I went on a couple of dates with a guy last year and felt comfortable in my decision to sleep with him after three dates. On the fourth date, however, I discovered he still let’s his mum do his laundry for him (he’s in his late 30s) and calls rosé wine “rose.” Eeek! I can’t be dating a man-child.

Had I waited until we reached that $2000 mark, I would have discovered all this long before he showed me his dad bod and I could have walked away feeling slightly less guilty.

Perhaps, if we want to be a little less, dare I say – shallow – rather than basing the decision off money, we could base it off a checklist instead.

That checklist should include things like:

– What do they do for a job?

– Do they maintain basic adult responsibilities – like remembering to take the rubbish out, how to do laundry, can they cook a basic meal?

– Where do they live?

– Have they been to jail? If yes, what for. (You may laugh at this one, but you would be surprised by a person’s criminal history.)

– Have they ever had an AVO?

– How long ago was there last relationship? Why did they break up?

– What’s their take on contraception? Condoms should be a non-negotiable people!

– Do you feel safe around them?

– Do you feel confident they will contact you the next morning?

If you can answer all of the above, then you’re welcome to pass go, collect your $2000 and feel free to show him your whoo-haa.

Think of all the mistakes we could avoid if we just did a little more research. Lads, best be saving those pennies!

Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking

Originally published as The $2000 dating rule to avoid ‘frightful’ sex syndrome from men