Why Ada Nicodemou says she isn’t perfect: ‘I must first fill my own cup of happiness’

Home and Away star Ada Nicodemou says she isn’t striving for perfection, and is embracing the ‘unscripted, unpredictable’ side of life – and motherhood.

Weekday mornings are a carefully choreographed dance of love and playful flusteredness in our family. Picture the scene: the school drop-off, where “I love you” is shouted just loud enough for all to hear, igniting a chorus of laughter from my son Johnas’ friends and dispelling any swagger that he’s attempting.

This, however, is just the warm-up act.

I then transform into the ultimate JLo fan, blasting ‘Let’s Get Loud’ through the open windows as I drive off. Singing along, off-key but with gusto, I ensure that his day starts with a dose of motherly love, served with a side of playful mortification.

These episodes, while teetering on the edge of embarrassment, are our shared language of love and humour, creating memories that, despite his discomfort, are always a source of laughter and affection.

‘I must first fill my own cup of wellbeing and happiness.’ Picture: Getty Images

One such memory is the birth of “Joan Ass”. Initially a schoolyard taunt, this nickname quickly became a term of endearment in our household, much to Johnas’ annoyance. By adopting this playful moniker, we turned a potentially hurtful jab into a symbol of our family’s ability to find humour in adversity.

But beneath the mirth and merriment lies a deeper narrative of motherhood, one where perfection is neither sought nor required.

Our kids want a happy mother, not a perfect one. That was especially true in Book Week, when I dressed Johnas as Darth Vader – complete with black mask, cape and lightsaber – only to realise we were a week early. He spent the day in costume, fielding “Dark Side” jabs. At first, I beat myself up over the mistake, but soon we found the humour in it, adding another yarn to our family’s collection of funny dinner-party stories.

Along this path, I’ve learnt to embrace the beauty of imperfection, understanding that my

best effort is always good enough.

Read Ada’s full column inside Stellar today. Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar

The pursuit of perfection in motherhood is a mirage; what truly matters is the happiness and love we share. Johnas doesn’t need the flawless, unblemished version of me; he needs the real, joyful, sometimes frazzled me, who chuckles at the nickname “Joan Ass” and can turn a morning drop-off into an impromptu concert.

Self-care is the linchpin of this imperfect, wonderful journey. For me, it’s carving out moments for personal indulgence: losing myself in a great book, sharing a movie with my best friend, enjoying a facial or massage, going to the gym, or treating myself to those little luxuries that aren’t necessities but bring a spark of joy.

These acts of self-care are my way of replenishing my spirit, affirming that I’m more than just a mother. They remind me that to pour out love and energy to my family, I must first fill my own cup of wellbeing and happiness.

This Mother’s Day, I’m reflecting on the wild, wonderful ride of motherhood, from the hilariously embarrassing moments to the empowering realisation of my imperfections.

It’s a journey punctuated by the soundtrack of life, from the uproarious mornings filled with JLo anthems to the quiet evenings of self-reflection and care.

So today I offer a toast to the unscripted, unpredictable and utterly beautiful day-to-day life of a mother. It’s a role defined not by perfection but by deep, unwavering love and embracing every aspect of this adventure – sass, “Joan Ass” and all.

Here’s to all mums out there who navigate the chaotic, messy, and profoundly beautiful journey of motherhood.

Ada Nicodemou is an author and an actor on Home And Away on the Seven Network. Read her full column inside Stellar via The Sunday Telegraph (NSW), Sunday Herald Sun (VIC), The Sunday Mail (QLD) and Sunday Mail (SA).

Originally published as Why Ada Nicodemou says she isn’t perfect: ‘I must first fill my own cup of happiness’