‘I wasn’t prepared for Channing Tatum’s full-frontal assault’

“It was the side eye from the stewardess that made me realise she had seen it, too. My timing wasn’t great,” writes Edwina Bartholomew about a hilarious encounter on a recent flight.

Channing Tatum and Salma Hayek in THAT scene from Magic Mike. Picture: Supplied

It was the side eye from the stewardess that made me realise she had seen it, too. My timing wasn’t great.

It was during the meal service; trolleys clunking from one end of the aisle to the other, drinks being poured, a cheery “the chicken or the fish?”

It was the chicken for me, with a side of eggplant in the form of Magic Mike’s Last Dance. I don’t feel I need to preface the following with a spoiler alert, but just in case you’re not familiar with the franchise, the movie contains a lot of male stripping. A lot.

I knew that, of course, before selecting it from the inflight entertainment menu but I wasn’t quite prepared for Channing Tatum’s full-frontal assault on a seated and similarly surprised Salma Hayek in the opening moments of the film. I thought the scene would pass by quickly but as it went on and on and on, I slipped deeper and deeper into my seat with my cheeks turning the same shade as the airline livery. I politely declined the sparkling water for something that packed a bit more punch as a coping mechanism.

There was no judgement from the flight attendant but the wry smile delivered with my beverage indicated she had seen it all before on flights gone by.

Channing Tatum in the original 2012 Magic Mike.

What is it with films on planes?

I’m either in fits of laughter due to exhaustion or crying deliriously at the most innocuous rom-com. Is it a side effect of jet lag that heightens emotions or do you just let your guard down at 35,000 feet? I wonder if where you sit influences what you watch and how you react? If I was cheek by jowl, so to speak, in economy would I have been less likely to select Magic Mike for fear of flashing my fellow passengers?

There is a reason films like Snakes On A Plane, Turbulence and Alive don’t get a run on board. No-one wants to imagine themselves stuck in the Andes and forced to eat their fellow passengers for sustenance.

I tend to opt for a love story or a classic Oscar-winning film when I’m flying. A glance around the cabin suggests a similar pattern with other female passengers, and there is research behind it – it’s called the “mile cry club”.

Have you ever watched a plastic bottle of water mid-flight? It gets scrunched as the oxygen is sucked out of it. That is essentially what is happening to your brain.

Nicole Kidman appears on this weekend’s edition of Stellar.

The lower-than-normal air pressure leads to mild hypoxia, leaving you a bit depressed, contemplative or, if Love Actually is involved, a complete blubbering mess.

Science also tells us that we’re more likely to break down behind closed doors or while driving a car, for example. The darkness of the plane cabin has the same effect: a freeing anonymity. Often you’re travelling with strangers and end up more emotive than if you were surrounded by people you know. There is also a general feeling that if you lose your mind over the Pacific or the Atlantic, you have plenty of time to regain composure by the time you reach London or New York.

Virgin Atlantic even went so far as to introduce special notifications on their in-flight entertainment systems to let passengers know when they were about to watch a tear-jerker. Maybe a warning could be recommended for Channing Tatum’s back catalogue. I caved and turned off Magic Mike before dessert was served so I missed the ending. I’m presuming it was happy.

Edwina Bartholomew is a presenter on Sunrise on the Seven Network.

Read the full interview inside The Sunday Telegraph (NSW), Sunday Herald Sun (VIC), The Sunday Mail (QLD), and Sunday Mail (SA) this weekend.

Originally published as ‘I wasn’t prepared for Channing Tatum’s full-frontal assault’