Edwina Bartholomew confesses, ‘There’s nothing sexy about ageing’

The Sunrise presenter reveals what she has learnt since turning 40 – and the real reason growing older isn’t as scary as she thought.

You’ve probably heard of an old man named Michael Finnegan, who happened to grow whiskers on his chin-a-gen. But along came the wind and blew them in again. Poor old Michael Finnegan...begin again.

Yes, Michael is the subject of a traditional folk song – even The Wiggles sing and dance about him – but you probably haven’t heard much about his wife, Michelle. She also grew whiskers on her chin-a-gen.

But instead of the wind blowing them in again, poor old Michelle had to pay a fortune in waxing and laser removal.

You see, Michelle has just turned 40, and like me, she now travels with a set of tweezers in the car to catch those chin hairs in the right light.

I suspect I’ve lost all the male readers at this point. It’s OK, I understand. There’s simply nothing sexy about it.

On a scale of Bridget Jones undies to varicose veins, facial hair is right at the top of the list of the most unattractive features for a female.

I am, however, willing to wager there are lots of ladies out there nodding their heads (and associated chin hairs) in agreement. It’s just one of the many joys of getting O-L-D.

‘There’s nothing sexy about chin hairs,’ says Edwina Bartholomew. Picture: Supplied

There are the good bits to ageing, of course; I give less of a French Connection about what anyone thinks about how I live my life, how I raise my kids, what I wear or what I say; my list of hidden words on Instagram grows longer by the day as I have no time for unhelpful online engagement; and I finally have my superannuation sorted – nothing says “I’m getting older” louder than the shift from shoebox to Dropbox.

Physically, it’s a different story. I’m in what I call my “inner-sole” era, the time when you’re young enough to want to go to a Taylor Swift concert but old enough to stand only for the chorus, and even then only in comfortable shoes with arch support.

Am I 40 going on 86? Ageing before my time? I asked my mates from uni their thoughts.

Turns out the chin hairs are universal; so, too, are social media algorithms serving ads for collagen powders and linen sheet sets.

There’s the failing eyesight – be honest, are you squinting at this Stellar just a little at your cafe table? Add to that the ongoing struggle with tech and the indignity of having to ask younger folk for help; a dive into TikTok must be how my mum feels on Facebook: dazed and confused.

Remember Dazed And Confused? It was a teen flick that came out 30 years ago. In the ’70s, right? No... 30 years ago was the ’90s.

That’s when all the songs you love bopping along to in the supermarket aisle were in the charts; the same music you blast in the car before having to turn the volume down so you can see, and the same era of the nostalgia act you rocked out to in a concert that ended at 9.30pm.

So, Michelle, I want you to know that I see you. No-one is writing nursery rhymes about you, but you deserve a shout-out in my book (or column, as the case may be).

You’re not even halfway through life and so far you’ve taken this ageing business… on the chin.

From one 40-year-old to another, make the most of it. The days are long but the hairs are short – if you keep them maintained, that is.

Edwina Bartholomew is a presenter on Sunrise on the Seven Network.

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Originally published as Edwina Bartholomew confesses, ‘There’s nothing sexy about ageing’