The 'ridiculous' way my friend responded when I forgot her birthday

"We both have little kids and busy lives and her reaction was totally over the top." 

Forgetting a good friend’s birthday is not a great look. But as we grow up, life gets busier and the demands of a stressful job, family life  or the two combined, mean that we all make these mistakes at some point.

While understanding friends might easily forgive and move past this sort of error, one mum has recently discovered that her friend is not one of them. 

In a post in a popular parenting forum the mum began by saying she knew she was the one who initially stuffed up.

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Image: iStock.

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"I know I am unreasonable"

“First off, I know I'm unreasonable for this part but I forgot my friend's birthday,” she wrote.

“I remembered the day after and texted the next day to say ‘so sorry I forgot, happy b'day, I will drop a pressie round soon’. 

“I didn't hear anything back but don't think anything off it; we both have young kids and busy lives. I texted her again today to ask if she wants to come to a concert I have tickets for next week and she just texted back ‘f**k off’.”

Ooft.

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"I apologised"

After her friend made her feelings as clear as crystal, the mum says she felt like this was much too dramatic.

“I know it’s bad I forgot as she always remembers but I apologised," the mum explained.

“It’s been a hard week. My youngest has slapped cheek and is miserable, oldest has special needs and I’m pregnant and have ADD - and she knows all this. 

“We’re women in our 40s, I like birthdays and celebrating but I wouldn't mind even a little bit if someone forgot my birthday, especially if they apologised afterwards.

“I haven’t texted back and don’t know what to do now.”

With well over 300 hundred comments offering empathy, advice and opinion on this matter, it seems her friendship dilemma is something many can relate to. 

Most of the people taking time to comment, believed the friend was well out of line.

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"She's ridiculous"

“She's being ridiculous,” wrote one.

“Leave her to get on with her sulk now. If she decides to grow up,she'll text you I'm sure.”

Another added: “She's in her 40's she’s not four, she needs to actually grow up, not just age.”

One generous poster believes there might be more to the story.

“Sounds to me like there are more deeper things going on with your friend than just the fact you forgot her birthday. She is definitely unreasonable to have told you to f**k off and if she was hurt she should have discussed it with you like an adult.

“My thoughts are, she isn't a happy person at the moment, perhaps very stressed (not that that's an excuse), and her hurt at you not wishing her a happy birthday has escalated into a big deal. I wouldn't respond.”

Many others could relate to the friendship drama.

“I had a friend of over 20 years ghost me because I forgot to text her on her birthday once. Once. It hurt at the time but now I realise I was well rid. Some people are just completely unhinged and it’s not our job to fix them. Move on and find nicer friends!”

But other users felt for the friend and wondered if an olive branch was needed.

One said: “I'd text her back and ask, 'are you ok'?” 

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"It's hard to remember everything"

With a second writing that they agreed, before adding further advice.

“I agree with the person that said they would reply and ask if she’s okay. That way she makes the decision about dropping off the gift for you.

“If she replies with more abuse, you don’t drop it and you forget her. Or if she replies like an adult and a miracle happens and she apologises, then you would drop it off at some point.

“As much as I love and value my friends, it’s just incredibly hard to remember everything.

"I hope you are okay.”

Originally published as The 'ridiculous' way my friend responded when I forgot her birthday