‘The petty reason my friend dropped me from her expensive wedding’

“I said 'no' to her request and then she just stopped mentioning the big day."

Laura Jackel

3 min read

July 30, 2024 - 6:00PM

Image: iStock.

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Borrowing money from a friend can become an awkward situation, and for one upset woman online, a denied loan request resulted in her being uninvited to her pal's big day.

The woman who had known her friend for decades, posted to a popular forum online to share her dilemma and ask for feedback.

She said the pair met at high school and have met sporadically in person and chatted on the phone for the past 20 years.

“She got engaged a few months ago,” the woman wrote of her longtime friend.

“We met up and chatted excitedly about the proposal and wedding. Plus she has also bought a new house. The wedding invite was extended there and then.”

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Bride bans phones during wedding ceremony

"I was looking forward to the wedding"

The woman was told the wedding would be taking place at an overseas venue and that she would just have to pay the travel costs but that everything else would be put on by the bride and groom.

“Despite the fact that I was going through an acrimonious divorce at that time, I was genuinely happy for her and looking forward to the wedding.”

The woman then writes that her pal mentioned some money troubles as part of that same chat, and asked for a loan.

“It’s not much (a few thousand) which in normal circumstances I would have been happy to oblige, but as I was going through financial remedy with my ex husband, the uncertainty caused me to say ‘no’ to the request.

“She was okay about it and did not bring up the subject again.”

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"I get the vibe she's ignoring me"

But as the wedding date approaches the friend has suddenly stopped mentioning it and is avoiding contact altogether.

“I have tried to invite her to a few dinner dates, all of which were turned down by her. I got the vibe that she is trying to avoid me, in hope of me forgetting about the wedding.

“I could understand the stress in organising the wedding while holding down a full time job, but am I being unreasonable to feel that she is trying to disinvite me to the wedding, quietly?”

In response to the many hundreds of comments the woman says she just feels really upset by the sudden lack of communication.

“I am feeling slightly hurt that she can just dropped me quietly like that and no doubt will attempts to pick this up again after the wedding.

“Knowing her, she will claim ignorance and knowing me, I will just move on and continue being a part of her life.”

"She's a user"

The comments reinforce the woman’s feelings that the bride is probably not a good friend.

“She's a user,” says one woman.

“ Who plans a wedding abroad and asks their friend for a loan? She's got champagne tastes and wants you to fund it.”

Another agreed: “Just because she’s an old friend, doesn’t mean she’s a good one.

“Yes - big/expensive weddings are stressful for the bride/groom. They don’t have to do that - it’s their choice and absolutely not your problem financially.”

One woman had some tough love to share with the self confessed ‘people pleaser’: “I would stop trying to contact her and wait to see what happens. If she doesn't make contact even to explain she's cut back on guests then draw a line under it all and move on.

“I certainly wouldn't be picking back up with her again if she makes contact when the wedding is over. A good friend wouldn't treat you like that.”