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Three days before the party, a text of demands was sent to guests

"We have four strict rules we would want parents to follow for our three year old's birthday ."

How do I make my kids more grateful for the gifts they are given?

The list of kids’ birthday party rules seems to be growing by the day. 

Should you invite the whole class or a select few?

Can we opt for cake and lollies, or only provide “healthy” foods?

And, do you put a present on every layer of Pass-The-Parcel?  Is anyone still even playing it?

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RELATED: 'I'm over the pressure to throw picture-perfect parties'

"Follow the four rules, or a make a handmade card"

According to a recent TikTok shared by mum Brittany Robinson , “birthday parties are getting out of control.” 

“My daughter was sent a birthday party invitation and we RSVP’d. Three days before the party, the mother sends out a text to all parents [saying], ‘We have a strict rhetoric we would like parents to follow when picking out gifts.’” 

In the message, the toys had to follow four rules: no colour, no noise, be waste-free, and not made of plastic. 

When Brittany searched what exactly was meant by “waste-free”, she learned it meant nothing that came in disposable packaging and it had to be made of environmentally-friendly materials. 

The mum of the three-year-old birthday girl went on to stipulate that if parents couldn’t follow the rules, they would prefer a hand-made card.

She even rejected store-bought cards, as that would also produce waste. 

Only receiving the message a few days before the party, Brittany says the requests were “extreme”. 

“At that point, we don’t even want to go to this party. I don’t want to make a mistake and be that one that broke the rule. It was so much easier in the 90s.”

Image: BrittanyShay/Instagram
Image: BrittanyShay/Instagram

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"Montessori toys"

If you’re wondering what exactly could fit this criteria, commenters suggested Montessori toys would likely fit the bill. These toys are usually wooden and “motivate children to explore, solve problems, learn practical life skills, and become more independent and self-sufficient”. 

Comments on the post were divided, with some saying they wouldn’t expect such restrictions to be enforced on everyone attending a party they were throwing.

“We limit screens, but I don't expect that in other homes. We buy dye free, but I don't expect that from others. My kids can watch extra TV or eat different snacks when with their friends....,” one parent wrote. 

Another shared, “we have the EXACT same gift rules, we said we'd rather not receive a gift then recieve [sic] a noisy colorful obnoxious toy that we will not use and donate. We don't do toys that are to bright, have any sounds and we try to stick to recycled materials and such. natural toys and materials like wooden toys etc. 100% relate to them.”

Some shared their own OTT party experiences, such as this mum: "My 7th grader went to a Tiffany & Co-themed birthday party. Everyone got a Tiffany heart necklace, a real one."

And one joked: "Perhaps the child would enjoy a sourdough starter?"

Ultimately, Brittany indicated in the comments that they decided against attending the party altogether, and feigned a fever. 

Regardless of your thoughts on gifts, perhaps we can all agree to give more than a few days notice? 

Originally published as Three days before the party, a text of demands was sent to guests

Original URL: https://www.thechronicle.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/three-days-before-the-party-a-text-of-demands-was-sent-to-guests/news-story/3ab399ee9eb4b54bc5144240d3c4610e