'The side of mental illness that the media doesn't romanticise'

“Consider how challenging someone’s life may be for their home to have reached this stage.” 

There’s a whole corner of TikTok that you may or may not be aware of. 

You may have caught a glimpse or you may frequent it - either way you’re going to form an opinion about it. 

It’s called #hoardertok.  

But, before you begin to judge, I want to ask that you consider a new perspective.   

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RELATED: Sydney mum shows house after a week of not cleaning

"A perfect example of #hoardertok" 

TikTok user, vmumofthree, has posted several videos in her journey to clean her home. 

At first glance, it's difficult to believe...but the issue is much deeper than what you see. 

The mum shared a gallery of her struggle, but promises says she's "cleaning her way to happiness." 

“I’ve always struggled keeping on top of everything, but this is by far the worst it’s ever been,” she wrote. 

“I have zero support. I work full time, I am a single mum of three and I have numerous mental health problems. How do I begin to fix this much mess?” 

Despite this candid confession, many viewers still harshly judged the mum for "laziness".

Image: vmumofthree/TikTok

"Try to bring compassion"

As she scrubs the grime in the sink and bags the rubbish blanketing the floor, there’s one significant thing we all need to remember.  

Undertaking such a task is a mammoth effort, but combating the mental health aspect is just as big.  

Doctor Erika Penney is a clinical psychologist who says it’s crucial that we reserve judgement when we come across these videos online. 

“It’s important to remember that no short video clip can really tell us what that person is going through,” Dr Penney told Kidspot. 

“Try to bring compassion by considering how challenging someone’s life may be for their home to have reached this level of disarray.” 

She says there’s the cleanliness of our surroundings can impact our mental wellbeing and how effectively we are able to parent. 

“A very chaotic home environment has been linked to less effective discipline, more behavioural issues in children, challenges with attention and social cues, and less parent-child cooperation in some families,” Dr Penney explains.  

She says turning to TikTok for cleaning advice can potentially make matters worse. 

“Try to remember that TikTok can be great for inspiration, but not comparison,” Dr Penney stresses. 

Image: vmumofthree/TikTok

RELATED: I have 17 dirty nappies lying around my house

"This is NOT normal"

The comments on the mother of three’s videos only prove the stigma that persists around the genuine mental health issue:

“Please don't tell me children live in this squalor." 

“CPS!”

“This is NOT normal or realistic! It is disgusting and laziness."

But those with compassion offer encouragement. 

“You can do this.”

“ I completely understand how mental health can force a pause on everything." 

For parents who are struggling to keep the house tidy, Dr Penney says not to lose hope. 

Dr Penney's tips for implementing an organised cleaning routine include:

• Prioritise non-negotiables (i.e., wiping away spills and food scraps) from their lower priorities (i.e., unfolded laundry). 
• Try to invite the kids into the routine. 
• Break up organisation into very small steps.
• Aim for “good enough” and not perfect.

She insists a level of disorganisation is completely normal, but it’s important to seek help if it becomes too much. 

“Your home can be somewhat messy and still healthy,” she says. 

“If excessive clutter and mess, or the need for perfect levels of tidiness, are creating anxiety or overwhelm, speak with your GP about a referral to a psychologist to support you.”

Originally published as 'The side of mental illness that the media doesn't romanticise'