The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives crossed a line that made me feel ill

"Who thought this would be fun?"

Reality TV is my number one vice. So when Disney+ dropped it’s long awaited second season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives my behind was firmly placed on the couch to binge it over the weekend. 

My husband and child were both given instructions: “Don’t bother me unless there’s a fire or Taylor Swift is at the door!” 

The second season included the familiar faces of MomTok: Taylor Frankie Paul, Whitney Leavitt, Jen Affleck, Demi Engemann, Mikayla Matthews, Mayci Neeley, Jessi Ngatikaura, Miranda McWhorter 

I slurped up the drama, I judged the heck out of Taylor Frankie Paul’s baby daddy and googled “do Mormons really do XYZ” more times than I care to admit.  

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Can MomTok survive this?

It was a cruel game of pregnancy test roulette in episode nine that left me feeling physically ill. 

While on a girls trip one of the women wakes up and decides to start the morning with chaos. Holding a bag of pregnancy tests she declares the group should play “pregnancy roulette.”  

The rules require each girl to take a test, put it in a bowl and draw the tests out in the most disgusting lucky dip known to humanity. 

The idea was ridiculous from the beginning, but it quickly passed over into really insensitive territory. 

It’s only made worse by the fact that two women are pregnant (only they’re not ready to share their news) and another woman is dealing with a rough infertility journey.

“This isn’t traumatic at all. I don’t cry every single time I take a test and get a negative,” Demi says sarcastically.  

Demi reveals that she has been struggling with infertility for four years, with her husband Brett. 

“My least favourite thing to do is take a pregnancy test,” she stresses.  

The Secret Lives of Mormon Moms crossed a line with this cruel pregnancy game. Image: Disney+

The trend MomTok should have skipped

The women all go take their tests and then the game begins. 

Two tests are pulled from the bowl with a positive result, but it's the last test that leads to an emotional response for all of the wrong reasons. 

After years of looking at negative tests Demi was finally holding a positive one, only for it to not be hers. It's cruel and heartbreaking to watch her breakdown. 

“I can’t even explain how deeply sad I’m feeling in this moment. Initial reaction is like holy s**t, I’m pregnant and then I’m like wait no there’s no way that you’re pregnant. There’s no way, all you get is negative tests,” she explains in a confessional. 

All of the girls are quick to comfort her, but the two women who know they are pregnant begin to quickly feel the pain of a double edged sword.

For Mayci and Mikayla, sharing their pregnancy news with their friends is now tainted. They’re scared to speak up because they’re not ready to share, but also feel obligated because of their friend's heartache. 

“It almost feels like a bad thing to be pregnant in this situation,” Mayci admits. 

Mayci had also found she was pregnant following a successful round of IVF, making the news of her pregnancy even more sensitive. 

I was deeply disturbed watching this play out on television. It’s as if women can truly be women’s worst enemies when it comes to infertility. 

Why was this even a trend in the first place? Who thought this would be fun?

It crossed so many lines for the mothers-to-be and the woman who desires nothing more than to be pregnant. We have so far to go when it comes to sensitivity around this subject. 

Demi pulls out a positive pregnancy test. But it's not hers, Image: Disney+

RELATED: With half a uterus, doctors said I'd never be a mum 

"The most bizarre setup and aftermath to ever hit reality television"

Granted their jobs are to follow TikTok trends and it’s likely a producer behind the game, it didn’t sit right with me. 

It didn’t sit right with others either. The internet has been alight with opinions weighing in on the episode. On X many slammed the show for being insensitive to Demi's triggers. 

“I know everyone doesn’t like Demi right now, but the pregnancy test roulette was BEYOND mean to do knowing she is having trouble.” one viewer wrote. 

Another agrees: “This whole pregnancy test roulette thing might be the most bizarre setup and aftermath to ever hit reality television.” 

“Playing pregnancy roulette knowing she’s been struggling with infertility is so insanely cruel,” a third added. 

I’ve watched a lot of reality TV, but this was by far one of the most horrible scenes I’ve watched in a long time.  

To not only force two women to out their pregnancies, but to tug on the delicate emotions of a woman struggling was a cheap way to engage viewers. 

Originally published as The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives crossed a line that made me feel ill